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Topic: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here (Read 1273 times) |
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Jeepgun
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If confession is good for the soul, I guess I'll start off. 
When I was in the Army, I arrived at my permanent duty station with two other privates who were complete dirtbags. I did my job, kept my mouth shut, and kept my stuff squared away. My supervisor, who was also a dirtbag, and on the overweight program, decided to kick out the two dirtbags that I had arrived with. Then he decided to make a "package deal" of it, and get me kicked out of the Army too. Meanwhile, he thought I was stupid and didn't know what he was doing, so he kept coming around and pretending to be my buddy, smiling in my face...
One day, he came over to my barracks room because I lived across the street from the gym. He was all sweaty and nasty and proceeded to sit ON MY BUNK, asking me how I'm doing and how everything's going, smiling that shitty little smile. I remarked, "You look like you could use a drink of water!" He agreed, so I got a glass, went into the bathroom, ran the water in the sink, and then dipped the glass in the toilet. I wiped the glass down with a towel, turned off the sink, and carried the water back to him. He drank it down like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted.
After he left, I laughed until I thought my ribs would break.
Two months later, I received a much-coveted and envied transfer to the local aviation unit, and a month after that, my former supervisor was kicked out for being a fat piece of shit.
Karma's a bitch.
__________________________________
After three years of clinic politics and power struggles between civilian nurses and doctors and military medical personnel, I was fed up. On my last night there, I was on night shift. I went through the clinic and stole every last roll of toilet paper from every single restroom. I wiped out the supply closet, too. (I hope everyone was wearing long shirt tails the next morning!) I stuck a cigarette in the aorta of the model of a heart that one of the doctors had sitting on his desk. I taped centerfolds on the pulldown anatomy charts in the OB/GYN exam rooms. I took a rancid tuna sandwich, stuffed it into an open specimen cup, and placed it inside of the heating grille in the chief nurse's office. I bought a Milky Way out of the vending machine, melted it in the microwave and shaped it into a turd, then put it in a ZipLock baggie and filled out a phony lab slip on it, and then placed it in the staff food refrigerator. I put a cigarette in the mouth of the skeleton in the casting room. I photocopied my middle finger and made sure everyone got a copy in their distribution box. I think I did some other things, but those are all I can remember, right now.
<----Driving the bus to Hell
____________________________________
Phew! I feel better! NEXT!! 
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Lizzie2
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #1 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:44pm » |
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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
When I was 3, I stole a kid's wind up turtle because she used to throw it in my face to say, "Look what I have...and you can't have it!" Several years later, I found it in my My Little Pony bin with all the ponies I had collected. My mom said to me, "Hey! Where did you get that? I don't remember that one!" She had no idea...but I felt guilty so I buried it in the trash and it went out with the next round of garbage!!
I was a real devil, eh? haha....
I'm sure there are others that I just can't remember right now! I gotta get a life...errr...at least more of a life of crime!! hehe 
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Jeepgun
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #2 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:47pm » |
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One of the neighborhood kids stole my Mr. Potatohead. I was very traumatized...  
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Lizzie2
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #3 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:51pm » |
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So ya mean I did damage for life? Hrmmmm I haven't seen this kid since I was 5, but I think I could still find out who she was if I had to!! hehehe I don't want some kid claiming she now has cluster headaches cuz I stole her wind up bath turtle!
Oh...well when *I* was a kid, I had this dollhouse that my grandfather made for me. Big elaborate thing!! My brother and cousin had an enjoyable time throwing basketballs and kicking soccer balls at it until the whole thing crumbled like a house in an earthquake!! For "revenge" I just told my cousin about that memory maybe 3 or 4 years ago! He still feels really bad about it!! hahaha I think I was 7 or 8 when they pulled that one!
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StueyStu
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #4 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:03pm » |
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My "Friend" was fucking around on me so one night I came home and he was sitting on the porch of the apartment building. I said hello and walked into the building with someone I picked up and we went upstairs and proceeded to do our little stuff. Anyway my friend Peter comes into the apartment and my bedroom door was closed and then he realized I had brought someone home and was getting busy. He thought the guy was just someone I didn't know (although we did get rather acquainted). Peter left the apartment devastated, but Columbus discovered the world was round in 1492 and what goes around baby comes around. I wish I could say I felt good about what I did but it was just to prove a point, don't play me like that. There are other stories but those can be posted someother time.
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E-Double
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #5 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:24pm » |
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How nasty do you want????
E. 
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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StueyStu
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #6 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:25pm » |
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Since I seemed to have stretched the imagination go right ahead and feel free to be nasty as you want!
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Lizzie2
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #7 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:30pm » |
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on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:24pm, E-Double wrote:How nasty do you want????
E. |
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Actually...when you put it that way?? I did pull a pretty mean one on an exboyfriend (boyfriend at the time!) once.... hahaha 
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Lobster
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #8 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:41pm » |
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Heh heh.
Neighborhood crone. Mid-30's cat lady. Called 911 at the drop of a hat.
In the 18months I lived there, she:
- called the police because we had a neighborhood fireworks (legal) display on the 4th
- called the police because the adults brought a beer-cooler along on Halloween rounds
- called the police because vistors had an RV parked in front of my house for a 3-day weekend
- called the police because my neighbor was replacing his jeep engine in his driveway
- called the police when i parked my car in the street instead of my garage
The police seemed to loathe her as much as we all did.
My last weekend there...
Two quart container... half gas/half sugar.
Into the fuel tank of her six-month-old SUV.
Bitch. I win.
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Lizzie2
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #9 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:52pm » |
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on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:41pm, Rock_Lobster wrote:Heh heh.
Neighborhood crone. Mid-30's cat lady. Called 911 at the drop of a hat.
In the 18months I lived there, she:
- called the police because we had a neighborhood fireworks (legal) display on the 4th
- called the police because the adults brought a beer-cooler along on Halloween rounds
- called the police because vistors had an RV parked in front of my house for a 3-day weekend
- called the police because my neighbor was replacing his jeep engine in his driveway
- called the police when i parked my car in the street instead of my garage
The police seemed to loathe her as much as we all did.
My last weekend there...
Two quart container... half gas/half sugar.
Into the fuel tank of her six-month-old SUV.
Bitch. I win.
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Good one!!! When I lived in Ohio, our next door neighbor was a real witch, too! She called the cops on my dad because he threw a cigarette butt into our half of our 5 foot strip of lawn between our driveways. My dad actually had a contractor come out and mark the property boundaries...split down the middle! She thought it was all hers...
I was riding my bike on the sidewalk one afternoon, and right when I was at the front of her house, I hit a crack in the sidewalk and fell off the bike. She came and yelled at me to get off her sidewalk. Called the cops again! Grrr..... Sure, I'm all bruised up and bloody but the bitch is only concerned with her sidewalk! Well if it was her sidewalk, then I should have sued her for the crack that made me fall off the bike in the first place!!
When we moved, we were seriously going to cut her bushes in half because they were half on our property, but we never did! She used to yell at my brother for playing basketball in the driveway, and my mom would go out there to play with my brother and shoot her evil looks every time she complained.
Of course her grandson had to be one of the bullies in my class...so I never heard the end of it!
What drama... 
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E-Double
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #10 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 6:02pm » |
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on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:41pm, Rock_Lobster wrote:
My last weekend there...
Two quart container... half gas/half sugar.
Into the fuel tank of her six-month-old SUV.
Bitch. I win. |
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Awesome!!!!!!!!
Ok you asked for it.... What's grosser than gross?...
Anyway, Prior to becoming a respectable(lol) teacher and behavior analyst (keep this one in mind) I was a deviant fraternity boy.
There was an excellent Grain party thrown one winter and as always many of us got naked. Well one of the pledges did a naked roof dive into a 6 foot pile of snow, jumped up and thus the name "Raisin" was born. (small and shrivelled LOL)
Some sorortiy chicks got a picture of poor little "Raisin" and decided to write a truly funny poem to go along with this picture and they posted it ALL over Campus. THE ENTIRE CAMPUS WAS COVERED WITH "RAISIN" It was great but.... ONLY WE HAZE OUR BOYS ...
We decided to raid there house when everyone was gone and conducted a "SHIT-A-THON"
Here comes the NASTY....EEEW
In the sinks
Under Matresses
Behind the couch
In Dresser Drawers
In tupperware
Baking in the oven
Boiling on the stove
Nuked DOOK
On and On an Over an Over
It was the house of SHIT.
At least there was no bloodshed
There are many stories of "revenge" some not so nice but never Fuck with me or my friends lmao.
Back to respectability....
E
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Jonny
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #11 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 6:47pm » |
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Can one get revenge when another tells you they are going to kill you?
I was a bouncer at a biker bar in the 80's that was just up the street from my house, one night while enjoying a smoke and a nice summer breeze out front of the bar a drunk I dont know walks up.....I tell him he's to loaded to go in.....he says his friends are in the bar. Being the nice guy I am I tell him I will go get them, just then he swings at me (Wrong move) and misses....I nail him and he eats the pavement. I tell him to stay down but he wants to get up....So....I put the boot to him (If hes trying to get up he wants to hurt me, Wrong again) and he stays down bleeding......LOL
Just then his friends walk out the door (My luck) and they freak, one pulls a knife and the other breaks a bottle....They pick up the friend and tell me they are going to kill me. My luck again is that they are between me and the door to 50 bikers ive known for years.......I start backing up as they are coming for me when I realize that my car is right behind me (Perk of the job, nice parking)......into the car I go.....LOL
All this time im thinking "Your going to kill me MF'er, I dont think so".......Put it drive and hit the gas, screaming right for all three of them. LOL....The two friends jumped out of the way but boot boy came through the windshield (poor bastard....LMMFAO) and landed on the steering wheel....Shit!, now I have to stop.....I stop and push him back on to the hood and start driving.
Ok, now how am I gonna get this fuck off my hood?.....Ooooppsss!, right turn.....LOL and there he goes.....ROTFF
In the end I got pinched for attempted murder, the judge refused to believe my story of "The guy just jumped on the hood of my car"
Moral of this story........Back up and drive away if you can
....................................jonny..........Officially my longest post EVER!
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nani
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #12 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:06pm » |
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OK I've held this one in for 15 years...it'll be good to confess. I was a waitress in a family style chain restaurant. A large family is seated in my section, all were kind of dirty and dressed pretty badly I might add. The father of the family spent the first few minutes ordering me and everyone in his party around. He even snapped his fingers at me and whistled for me!! He started to place their drink order and spoke to me as if I were retarded. "That's Coke, not Sprite - got that." "Make sure you actually stir the chocolate syrup in the milk." Crap like that. He spent a great deal of effort to speak as though he were the freakin' King of England and I was just a lowly servant.( I should take a moment here to say that I was a GREAT waitress. I was friendly and treated everyone like they were guests in my home. I even liked the job! ) Then he yelled at his wife for something (humiliating her) and ordered himself a beer. Guess what I did. Yep - I did. I SPIT in his beer. He was such an ***hole, I really thought he deserved it.  I've come a long way from that state of mind though and would not do anything like that again. I'm even kind of ashamed of it. One good thing came out of it - when I used to do customer service training for food service workers and wait staff I would remind them that they never had to feel bad about what they do. They have the ultimate power - they can spit in a customer's food if they are being jerks.
LESSON 1: Never be mean to your food service worker.
LESSON 2: Never be mean to your wife in front of a feminist
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| « Last Edit: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:08pm by nani » |
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Jonny
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #13 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:13pm » |
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That was you?
You bitch, I knew I tasted something funny in my beer
..................................jonny
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KingOfPain
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #14 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:51pm » |
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I kicked the beast's a$$ with a shot of imitrex today.
Again.
REVENGE!
F'n bast*rd beast.
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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ShariRae
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #15 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:53pm » |
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Welp... The day before I turned 16 (knowing I couldnt be arrested) I went down to City Hall in our town....my dad's new girlfriend was sitting right in front of the big plate glass window at her desk working away....oh how I hated her....I waved till I got her attention...smiled my sweet little smile..and proceed to totally beat the crap out of her new car with a sledgehammer! It was wayyyyyyyy to much fun....breaking windshields make the coolest noise!! Then once the hood gave way, I proceed to hammer away at the engine..by the time she figured out what was going on..was to late!! Damage done!! I took off before anyone even got to the scene....not a word was ever mentioned.. but for some unknown reason...I didnt have to go on visitation days anymore!! That was over 25 years ago & I still smile when I think about it!!
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vig
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #16 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:54pm » |
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revenge is the sweetest when it is dealt by another's hand....
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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KingOfPain
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #17 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 8:10pm » |
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Years ago while living in Capistrano Beach, Cali [that's So Cal] one of my roommates thought it would be cute to paint my toenails while I slept.
Har, har.
I waited, 3 weeks for the payback.
[When you least expect it, EXPECT IT!]
He had this knock out gal stay overnight with him.
After they both were passed out, in I crept, his hand I slid into a bowl of warm water I did.
[No this is not him, I just am using this pic as a
visual aid. ]
Let's just say he [nor anyone else] ever pulled another prank on me.
Never saw that gal again either, hmmmmmm....LOL!
*F* with the bull, you get the horns!
Revenge is a dish best served COLD!
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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Donna_D.
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #18 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 8:47pm » |
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Hmmmmm...I can tell this one, the statue of limitations has not run out on my OTHER acts of revenge ....*HEH HEH HEH*
When I was 17 years old, my boyfriend at the time suddenly stopped returning my phone calls. This went on for a week or more. Then, out of the blue, he shows up at my job (I was an Assistant Manager at a Mexican Food drive thru restaurant). Sitting next to him in the car was what appeared to be his newest girlfriend and his neck was COVERED in Hickeys (and I didn't give them to him).
Nearly bursting into tears, I managed to maintain my cool. I took his money and told him his order would be right up.
I reached up into the Industrial Vent-a-Hood over our grill and scooped out generous portion of grease and proceeded to marinate his beef fajita meat with it in the microwave. Oh, that is AFTER I scooted the meat around on the floor a little bit with my tennis shoes.
I made THIER Fajita dinner and served it out the window, Piping hot...and told them I hoped they enjoyed their meal.
Smiling I sweetly asked if the girl in the car was his new girlfriend. He smirked and said "Yeah, ain't she a doll?"
I burst into (fake) tears and yelled at him "BUT what about Little Jeffrey he is going to miss his Daddy and You KNOW I am due in four months!! Who do you think is going to support YOUR CHILDREN?!?!?!" And then I slammed the drive through window turning away so that they couldn't see me laughing my ass off....
I can still hear that girl screeching at him to this day......
I don't know what happened to Jeff...don't really care either LOL...but watching that girl dump those fajitas over his head in the parking lot was PRICELESS....
I don't like cheaters....
Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh
DD
Oh and just for clarification purposes there was NO little Jeffrey and I wasn't pregnant at 17. Just in case you wanted to know. 
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Jayne
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #19 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 10:04pm » |
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When I lived in Miami I had been dating a fireman for about 18 months, we had talked about getting married blah blah blah. I was so very in love with him.
He had a best friend who was engaged to be married to a girl named Heidi. The four of us used to do things together, movies, dinners.
Well one day my boyfriends friend called me and told me of the affair that Heidi and my boyfriend were having.
He broke up with Heidi and I was dumped by Derek for Heidi. I was devastated.
One night I got mad. I called him bawling. Said I wanted to go home to England and wanted to call my mother but I didn't have any money to call long distance and could I have the code #'s for his long distance account so I could arrange things with my mum. Well the goober gave me the #'s.
That night I drove to a pay phone in a very quiet area and called the speaking clock in Japan. ( I used to live there) I then let the phone hang down and I could hear the Japanese voice telling the time as I drove away.
By what I heard he had a humongous bill and was still looking for me.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 23rd, 2004, 10:43pm by Jayne » |
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Jeepgun
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #20 on: Sep 24th, 2004, 7:24am » |
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There. See? Don't we all feel just a little bit better?
(ROFLMMFAO!!! I AM IN TEARS!!!) OMFG, these are HILARIOUS!! So good.... LOL!
GawdDAMN, there ain't NOTHING like revenge!!
-Frankster
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Jimmy_B.
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #21 on: Sep 24th, 2004, 7:52am » |
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I don't have one for myself...since I'm such a warm & forgiving angel but...
When I was about 10 years old....we had an older retired widower who lived across the street. He kept meticulous care of his lawn. Just about every week-end some older kids, with suped up, cherry muscle cars would drive on his lawn, tearing up the foliage & grass. The old dude would always replace the foliage & clean up the yard.
One day, I see him putting bushes up all around his lawn. I'm thinking..yeah right, like this is gonna stop the kids. Well lo & behold that week-end, about 3 cars (I still remember them ...a Barracuda, Dodge Dart, & Chevy SS came up to tear across his yard & SMASH...the barracuda & SS hit the bush & were demolished.
The old dude had hidden cement bollards in the bushes Two of the guys were arrested & lost their cherry cars.
Jimmy
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RevDeFord
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #22 on: Sep 24th, 2004, 7:58am » |
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The woman that lived across the street from me a number of years ago spread rumors around town that I was a homosexual because I had a guy renting one of my 4 bedrooms in my house to try and help with the expenses. So I bought a live turkey from a turkey farm and placed it in her fensed yard. It was a big no no in that area to have anything that was considered "livestock". So I made a little call, someone came out and investigated. Gave her a fine. She fought it and fought it, said it wasn't hers. Everyone said, "Yeah yeah, Louise, whatever. We know it is yours" so everyone made her out for a liar.
I know I know. Very bad. I am not proud of it But it was a long time ago and a long way away from me being in the ministry.
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I don' know why it hurts, but I pray it will stop.
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Jeepgun
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #23 on: Sep 24th, 2004, 8:33am » |
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ROFL, Rev!
Jimmy, good for that old guy! Don't mess with old people... They are smart and treacherous! LOL
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here
« Reply #24 on: Sep 24th, 2004, 8:40am » |
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on Sep 23rd, 2004, 6:47pm, Jonny wrote:
....................................jonny..........Officially my longest post EVER! |
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I knew you had it in you. LOL
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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