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Topic: Running Low (Read 327 times) |
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athos
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Running Low
« on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 4:16am » |
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No real reason I guess... Well I guess there are.. Some of you know what my situation is, but it is no worse off than anyone else and better than others.... Just running low tonight....
Sorry..............
add...
Am I right, am I broken
does it make sense these days that I leave behind?
If I frown does it tell you to leave me alone?
If I smile at you does it tell you that I am here?
If I do nothing at all does it mean nothing?
The spirits are all about me.
not sure when they came
but they are a welcome distraction.
One decade now past for the angel growing across my heart
more thought for me than for herself
"Daddy" you will be able to play with me!
Tomorrow will be the day she says
If not then, the next day, you will see.
Fragility, if that is a word, is what I have become.
A series of... careful don’t play too hard
Sorry dear I can’t go out today, maybe tomorrow
Where is that man?
Lost to a world of decrepity and pain
Pain…. Is that a feeling or a state of mind?
Where is the man that once was?
Superman, the airplane rides, playing horsey for hours on end
Sorry to the ones that I love the most
Sorry to the ones that have the most to loose
Is this real? What I feel, is it real?
Sometimes I wonder if I could make it all go away.
Just a flick, just a twitch would it make a difference?
I miss the me that I was.
I miss the times that were had
I miss the monster hugs
Rain clouds that we played in
Mud holes just begging to me stomped in
We did not believe that there was a tomorrow
I woke up today and it was tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow………………….
Each time I wake up the same thing hits me
Tomorrow is here. Tomorrow is now.
Tap tap this is you brain letting you know this is not a dream
Don’t cry, this is the same as yesterday and the next.
What is gone is gone and can’t be replayed
What is lost is lost. And you are lost.
What do I count as real?
Pain? Pain is real? Is it tangible? Can I touch it?
What has Pain done to my life?
Made me who I am? Then I am… pain
People look at me as though I have let something precious go.
Or is that the past telling me who I was?
Am I broken? Is there a fix?
There is always a fix for the right price
No I am not broken. There is no fix just a realization
A realization of what was and who is here.
Suppression is just a way to hide
Hiding is almost a way of life.
Speaking of life whose am I living?
Mine or the nightmare of a tomorrow.
But I am still Superman.
Be that with a cane
or a wheelchair…
………..at least in two 10 year old hazel eyes.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 22nd, 2004, 5:30am by athos » |
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Superpain
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #1 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 4:41am » |
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Everything is going to be OK.
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Chris
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vig
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #2 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 8:58am » |
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Fight one more round.
"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come guard, fight one more round. when your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one in the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."
-James Corbett
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| « Last Edit: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:00am by vig » |
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #3 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:08am » |
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Hang in there.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Redd
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #4 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:14am » |
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nuff said
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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E-Double
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #5 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:27am » |
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on Sep 22nd, 2004, 8:58am, vig wrote:Fight one more round.
"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come guard, fight one more round. when your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one in the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."
-James Corbett |
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Great quote!!! Think I will hang that in my office or keep it in my pocket!!
Hang in there man.
Despite the fact that I have only met a few people here...
It is obvious to me that you like everyone else here are a leader among the tribe with unheralded spirit and strength.
Be well man
E.
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #6 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:28am » |
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hugs going out to ya! Hang in there.
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lionsound
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #7 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 10:43am » |
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athos,
your strength and courage to get you to here and now....
seems superheroic to me.
Vibes for you.
may you be well,
Rori
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #8 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 11:00am » |
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Ken,
That 10-yr. old of yours doesn't really care about horsey rides, mudholes and airplane rides.
She only cares that after the pain is gone her Daddy has a smile and a hug for her.
When she sits on your lap she feels safe and warm and it doesn't matter if your "lap" is in a wheelchair or on a motorcycle.
When you tease and laugh together it only matters that she is feeling the love....nothing else.
Trust me on this one. 
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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psycofemale0403
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #9 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 11:08am » |
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Keep your head up. It can only get better right?
~ Lisa
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Leesa
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #10 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 2:44pm » |
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Ken, Linda is sooooo very right hun. Lean on us for support hun. We are here for ya. Your family loves you no matter what. Just take care of YOU and get well.
PF wishes on the way, Leesa
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"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." General H. Norman Schwarzkopf 
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no-one
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #11 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 3:04pm » |
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((((( Athos )))))))
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"Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter....don't mind....And those that mind....don't matter."
Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov
Unless you believe, you will not understand.
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The mad viking
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #12 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 3:06pm » |
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Hang in there
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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Tiannia
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #13 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 3:16pm » |
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Ken -
That 10 yr old of your KNOWS you better then anyone else int he world. She sees beyond the pain, behond the cane, wheelchair, whatever. She sees you. And it does not matter how or what other define you as.... You are Dad. And that definaition goes beyond anything that you used to do... Can or cant do. That is being a hero to her.
I understand. I hate the fact that carrying my son up the stairs at night can bring me to tears, because of my back. That I have to stop half way up even when I am not carrying anyone more then a cup. I hate the fact that I cant tuck my daughter into bed without getting down on my hands and knees cause I can t bend to kiss her good night. That is not the way it is supposed to be. But none the less, I know that they love me with an unlimited heart and that all they care about is the fact that I am there.
Be strong my friend. Not that I am asking you to be anything that you are not every day.
-Tia
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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athos
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Reality is for those who lack imagination!
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #14 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:37pm » |
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Thank you for the support
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Charlie
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Re: Running Low
« Reply #15 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 2:59am » |
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Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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