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Topic: TGIF: Funnies (Read 167 times) |
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Carl_D
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Word Fun
Re-arrange the letters.
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters:
EVIL'S AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
Friday Funnie
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
Have a great weekend!
Carl D
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Kevin_M
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withered branches grow green again.
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #1 on: Aug 6th, 2004, 3:56pm » |
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CHARLEY: Hey Carl....................thanks.
Kevin M
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #2 on: Aug 6th, 2004, 3:57pm » |
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he he he... 
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Jimmy_B
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or
George H. Bush
He Robs Huge... 
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Ronny
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Yabba Dabba Doo
 
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #4 on: Aug 6th, 2004, 5:21pm » |
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on Aug 6th, 2004, 3:34pm, Carl_D wrote:
So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
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Lovely ! ! !
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Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
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alleyoop
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Wake me up when it's all over.
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #5 on: Aug 6th, 2004, 6:23pm » |
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Thanks Carl, you made my day!
.......................................alley
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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