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Topic: Not sure how much more I can take (Read 301 times) |
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Doss
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Not sure how much more I can take
« on: Jul 16th, 2004, 11:25pm » |
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I am in a series of these STINKING things again. The first time was approx. 4 years ago and then out of the blue here they are again. I am ready to just end it all. I cannot take it anymore. I know you guys/girls know exactly what I am talking about. I just wish that whatever is going on in my head would just explode so that this will stop. I have begged God to just take me. I have tried making deals (that does NOT work) with God. I will do anything if they will just go away. My Dr. FINALLY has referred me to a Neurologist. But Monday seems too far away. My boyfriend tries to understand, but he only gets a "normal" headache about 3 times a year, this is something he cannot fathom. I don't know what to do. HELP PLEASE.
Thanks,
Doss
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Jonny
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #1 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 11:38pm » |
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First thing you need to do is shut the fuck up about ending it, if I can do 30 years chronic you can get over it
Go see the fucking Neuro and get some 02
...............................jonny
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Tiannia
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #2 on: Jul 16th, 2004, 11:52pm » |
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You had a great break. 4 years. God I would love htat. You will get through this cycle just like you did the last one. It took me 10 months to get into a neuro and evenafter 2 months with him I still dont have the treatments that I want to try but I am at least in the right place.
We are here. Talk to us and yes we undersatnd... but you can not sit and takl about ending it.
No your boy friend wil not get it. But if he is willing to be there to help you, then let him help you.
PF wishes
-Tia
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Doss
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #3 on: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:06am » |
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Thank you both. Would NEVER do anything to "end it". That is how I feel during an attack, but would NEVER act on it. I appreciate you support I really do. Sometimes just talking to others who experience the same thing helps. This is a wonderful site and I am so grateful to have found it. Thank you both again.
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mynm156
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hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #4 on: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:42am » |
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Damn Jonny U could of just pulled a gun on her if you wanted to scare here! 
Really Doss,
We have ALL been as desperate as you and let me just tell you this. THIS SITE HAS SAVED MY LIFE AS I KNOW IT!!!! WHY? HOW? Because of this we are always here!! USe us talk to us We Know your pain! We will listen, slap you on the back when you deserve it and like Jonny so eliquently did it Slap you up side the head when we have too! You are now part of this HUGE disfunctional family of desperate people.
GOOD VIBES
Your Brother in Pain,
MYNM156
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John_D
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #5 on: Jul 17th, 2004, 12:38pm » |
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on Jul 16th, 2004, 11:25pm, Doss wrote:I am in a series of these STINKING things again. The first time was approx. 4 years ago and then out of the blue here they are again. I am ready to just end it all. I cannot take it anymore. I know you guys/girls know exactly what I am talking about. I just wish that whatever is going on in my head would just explode so that this will stop. I have begged God to just take me. I have tried making deals (that does NOT work) with God. I will do anything if they will just go away. My Dr. FINALLY has referred me to a Neurologist. But Monday seems too far away. My boyfriend tries to understand, but he only gets a "normal" headache about 3 times a year, this is something he cannot fathom. I don't know what to do. HELP PLEASE.
Thanks,
Doss |
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the problem with cluster headaches is that they just really, really suck! (I know, stating the obvious) Heres hoping you score some good abortives soon 
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UN_SOLVED
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I need a fully-automatic Imitrex injector !!
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #6 on: Jul 18th, 2004, 8:56pm » |
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Goodluck Doss. I hope you find a good treatment plan.
BTW, have you already been diagnosed with cluster headaches ?
Please post again and let us know how you're doing and what meds your new neuro prescribed you.
PF Wishes,
Unsolved
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I'm STILL alive ?
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #7 on: Jul 19th, 2004, 12:21am » |
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on Jul 16th, 2004, 11:25pm, Doss wrote:The first time was approx. 4 years ago and then out of the blue here they are again.
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Doss,
Nuthin Blue about it. Reckon we're part of the Luck Crowd.....get zapped 2-3 times every decade. It sucks, especially just when you thought is was safe to swim in the water.
FALSE.
As much as it's driving you bonkers right now, you gotta realize this is just the fore-runner to a whole bunch more years of intermittent My Head Sux From Hell. This is a lousy club to have to join. Garner your information, present a lucid case to your Doc, and go from there. It's really a long term approach kind of thing. Sorry.
There are alternatives,
RJ
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May those who don't want any
Have memories of never getting any.
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Shannon
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #8 on: Jul 19th, 2004, 11:02am » |
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I just wanted to let you know that I totally understand what you are going through. I go into remission for 2 years and then they always come back. I'm thankful for the time that is pain free but I understand all of the bad thoughts you get during the cycle. It hurts like nothing else I've ever experienced in the world and the only hope I have sometimes is knowing that it IS going to end. Be strong, find a new doctor and hang in there. I haven't talked to many people on here because I just found this site not to long ago but it has been a blessing from God. I have gotten alot of advice on new med's to try and even the names of some doctors in my area. It's great to find people that actually understand. The people that are close to me in my life have tried to understand and it's always been hard from them. I've printed out the stories on the first page of this site to let them read to explain exactlly how an attack feels. Again it's easier said than done when you get hit hard trust me I'm going through it now, but try to stay calm and remember that you will get through it. If you need someone to talk to please get in touch with me!
Shannon
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Major_Headcase
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #9 on: Jul 19th, 2004, 11:22am » |
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Doss,
Hang in there, you'll eventually come out the other end of this black tunnel you find yourself in ... again! This disease does lead its victims to despair, but you don't have to follow. As best as you can, focus on getting yourself some good medical support from your neuro ... preventitives and abortives. Have you scanned the "Medications, Treatments, & Therapies" section of this forum? If your neuro isn't up to speed on Clusters, print out some of the great advice posted there. There are many [treatment] paths out of our brand of Purgatory ... if you don't get results from whatever the doc puts you on at first, DO NOT give up! Try another regimen. Oxygen seems to be at the top of most sufferers list, Imitrex to abort an attack, and the list of potential preventitives is long - I take Verapamil myself and seem to get good results so far. My cycles have been annual up until this year ... I'm afraid I'm already succumbing to the "false hope" syndrome so I can relate to a four year break and then finding out "They're Baaack!"
So, there is help for you. You'll need to be proactive about getting it but you're worth it! Focus on getting effective treatment and keep at it till you find it ... or your current cycle ends, whichever comes first.
-John
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Doss
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #10 on: Jul 21st, 2004, 7:18pm » |
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Hi All -
I thought I'd give a quick update on my appt. with the Neuro. He was very understanding and did not make me feel like I am going crazy. lol
He has prescribed Imitrex injections and blood pressure medication (this concerns me as I do not have high blood pressure, except during the attacks). He also said that the cafergot the other dr. prescribed is JUNK. NO Kidding right. I go back on 8/2 for a follow up. If the Imitrex does not help, he said the next step is the oxygen. At least I finally found a dr. who will listen and really does seem to understand when I explain the pain. Thank you all so much for your support. I wish all of you a pain FREE day!
Doss
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Jonny
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #11 on: Jul 21st, 2004, 7:26pm » |
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I have been taking Verapamil (High blood pressure med) everyday for 13 years and I never had high blood pressure....Wonder why.....LOL 
Get that 02 at all costs, for alot of us it is gold!!
Its good to hear that you are getting some help and sorry I had to jump on ya......I hate when family even hints about ending it.
Welcome to the family, Doss!
..............................................jonny
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BlueMeanie
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #12 on: Jul 21st, 2004, 7:39pm » |
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Welcome DOSS,
As said already, this ClusterHeadaches stuff sucks and is a real bitch, but you can get through it. Make sure you push really hard for the 02 when you see the neuro again. Imitrex works most times, but is very expensive and not the greatest thing for your heart. If you can get the 02 it will definately help, and give you another alternative to fight the Beast with.
ps: Congrats on 4 years PF, sorry they returned.
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alleyoop
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #13 on: Jul 21st, 2004, 9:18pm » |
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Hi DOSS,
Click on the "oxygen info" tab on the left and print it out. Take it to your neuro. It's imperative that you get a high enough flow rate!
The o2 will be much easier on your body than the Imitrex will.
Good luck and PF vibes.................................
......................................alley
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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Charlie
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #14 on: Jul 22nd, 2004, 12:48am » |
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Welcome DOSS and stick around. Good stuff here for dealing with this horror.
Some of us got a little help from vigorus exercise, cold water or other stuff affecting circulation. Here's mine:
I am not sure what mechanism is triggered by this but whatever it is, at least indirectly helps kill the pain. I do know that this technique has nothing to do with meditation, relaxation, or psychic ability. It is entirely physical and takes some work. It involves concentrating on trying to redirect a little circulation to the arms, hands, or legs. It can described as a conscious circulatory flexing. Increased circulation will result in a reddening and warming of the hands. Try to think of it as filling your hands with redirected blood. The important and difficult part is that it has to be done without interruption through the pain. Do not give up in frustration. It may not work on the first try. Every now and then it will work almost immediately. I lived for those moments. Try experimenting between attacks. You will find that it gets easier with practice.
I was given less than five minutes instruction in the use of method. The doctor, while placing his arm on his desk, showed me that he could slightly increase his arm and hand circulation. After several attempts, I was able to repeat this procedure and use it successfully. I have had about a 75% success rate shortening these attacks. My 20 minute attacks were often reduced to 10 minutes or less. Once proven that I had a chance to effectively deal with this horror, I always gave it a try as I had nothing to lose but pain.
Perhaps it will help if you think of it as trying to fill the arm as if it is were an empty vessel. I used to try to imagine I was pushing blood away from my head into my arm. Use your imagination. There is one man who wrote that his standing barefoot on a concrete floor shortened his attacks. This may be similar as it draws some circulation away from the head. Cold water, exercise, or anything affecting circulation, seems to be worth a try. My suggestion is to not let up immediately when the pain goes. Waiting a minute is probably a good idea. So long as you do not slack off, this has a chance of working.
This technique is very useful while waiting for medication to take effect or when none is available. It costs nothing, is non-invasive, and can be used just about anywhere. It is not a miracle but it helped me deal with this horror. It can be a bit exhausting but the success rate was good enough for me and a cluster headache sufferer will do just about anything to end the pain. It gives us a fighting chance.
I hope this technique is helpful and I wish you the best of luck
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Turts
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Re: Not sure how much more I can take
« Reply #15 on: Jul 22nd, 2004, 4:39am » |
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Firstly welcome to the family!
In regards to the ending it business, those thoughts and ideas go through all our heads, its ow you battle them and deny them that counts. Remember and appreciate the good pain free times, they will help to inspire you to see those times again.
Now for the O2, tell the neuro all that you know at Ch and that o2 is proven to work. Tell HIM that you are having trouble accepting that CH are here blah blah blah and recommend that try O2 aswell. Combined with the blood pressure tablets you will SURVIVE a cycle before you know it!
Turts
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'I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only today I happen to have a headache.' (Lewis Carroll)
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