Author |
Topic: Let me introduce myself... (Read 367 times) |
|
helpless23
New Board Old Timer
Gender: 
Posts: 269
|
 |
Let me introduce myself...
« on: Jul 8th, 2004, 11:37am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
It seems for all of this time, I have been playing a game with everyone that has come in and out of my life.
My MOTHER just informed me that I am a heartless, cold, uncaring, selfish person, and the ONLY reason that I take care of MY son and his diabetes is for SELFISH reasons.
THIS comes from the woman who gave birth to me.
So I thought...hmmm...I better let all of these wonderful people know that I am really just hiding behind a mask and pretending to be HUMAN and actually give a shit.
Because my MOTHER claims to know me better than I know myself - and obviously, that's lower than dirt. That's her opinion of me. Because she asked how my son was doing and if he was eating, and I told her that he wasn't eating, and that I didn't know what to do about it because he's too involved in this game that he plays and he's stubborn...OH...And a TEENAGER.
Apparently I was a really rotten child - never did what I was told, got married early and will never live it down.
So, just so you know..I'm this horrible person who doesn't give a shit about anyone but myself, and I'm only KEEPING MY SON HEALTHY AND ALIVE for my OWN selfish reasons.
I'm a nice person huh?
Could my YEAR GET ANY BETTER!?!?!??!
I'm sorry. I really REALLY would love to come here and for ONCE give you all some good news, but it seems that it's not in God's plan for that to happen.
And I know what they say...and hell, I say it too "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I don't know that all of this will. It's emotionally tiring for me and I'm getting to the point where I'm just going to live the rest of my days with my kids inside these 4 walls and just take the abuse from my mother. (for selfish reasons???)
I caught myself telling my husband today that I wish I had been one of her miscarriages. How sad is that right? Stubborn me. Fiery me. Woman with an opinion ME...is saying that.
I'm at my wits end guys, and I didn't know where else to go, so I came here...to people that I trust. People that I don't even know what 1/2 of you look like...I come to you.
Because I have no where else to go, and I trust you. You're like the safe place for me.
Thanks for listening.
Toni
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
thomas
Guest
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #1 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 11:56am » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
Hey, come over here girl...... 
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Woobie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I luv you guys!!!!!!!!
Gender:
Posts: 3800
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #2 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 11:58am » |
Quote Modify
|
Toni----------
calm down & breathe
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Lobster
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender: 
Posts: 2016
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #3 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 12:18pm » |
Quote Modify
|
We must love our mothers, while keeping in mind that they grew up in houses chock-full of lead paint.
|
|
IP Logged |
Rock beats Scissors.
|
|
|
nosfed01stang
New Board Newbie
NOS rules and headaches suck
 
Gender:
Posts: 16
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #4 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 12:29pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Don't know if this will help you or not but it is worth a shot. Go to the book store and find books by an author named Dave Pelzer. The first book is called " A Child Called It". The second one is "The Lost Boy" and the third is "A Man Named Dave".
In no way am I saying this has anything to do with you or anything of that nature but it may help you out. I recommed this series of books to anyone who has ever or that is going through family issues. It just shows that if this one person lived through so much in their life, we don't have it that bad. It is about the 3rd worst child abuse case in the history of California (the other 2 kids died) and I just couldn't believe what this person went through. Like I said, it is worth a shot and it makes you realize that your mom may not be that bad. 
|
|
IP Logged |
Nitrous is like a hot girl with a STD, you know you want to hit it but are afraid of the consequenses!
|
|
|
Gator
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 4556
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #5 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 12:35pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I don't understand how any parent could intentionally harm his/her child. Why don't they understand there are more types of harm than just physical? My mother and I don't talk anymore. With her it wasn't what was said, it was what she showed through her actions. One day, I got fed up and confronted her and we haven't spoken except as absolutely necessary since. Once I cut the ties, I actually felt better. An emotional tie with a big rock on the other end can drag you down and drown you in despair. I didn't need that. I have a family of my own to raise and care for.
I'm not saying this is what you should do. Just sharing my own experiences to hopefully let you know you are not alone. I do hope you get things resolved one way or the other. In the meantime, we are here for you, Toni.
Mike
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
nosfed01stang
New Board Newbie
NOS rules and headaches suck
Gender:
Posts: 16
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #6 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 12:42pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I see what happens first hand everyday what happens when parents abuse or neglect their kids. It is sad.
My best advice would be to confront your mom about this and tell her if she can't stay out of your business....then just stay away until she can. Tell her you can raise your own family and when you want her advice........you will ask her for it.
|
|
IP Logged |
Nitrous is like a hot girl with a STD, you know you want to hit it but are afraid of the consequenses!
|
|
|
helpless23
New Board Old Timer
Gender:
Posts: 269
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #7 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 12:55pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Jul 8th, 2004, 12:29pm, nosfed01stang wrote:Don't know if this will help you or not but it is worth a shot. Go to the book store and find books by an author named Dave Pelzer. The first book is called " A Child Called It". The second one is "The Lost Boy" and the third is "A Man Named Dave".
|
|
I read them. They were very powerful books. My mother never did anything like that to me, it was all emotional and still is. It hurts me so bad though, to think that this is what the woman who gave me life thinks of me. It's so NOT who I am. So NOT HOW I am.
I am one of the most UNselfish people that I know.
And as far as asking for my mother's advice...I NEVER ask for it...I know better.
This all started like this: and I quote:
Mom - "How is Scott?"
Me - "Fine"
Mom - "Is he eating?"
Me - "No".
That was it. Then she started ripping into me telling me how I am to blame for everything, that the only reason I take care of him is for selfish reasons, although for the LIFE of me, I can't even make sense of that comment and how rotten I am, always have been, no patience, I sound cold on the phone, I have no compassion...
The list goes on and on. And my mother has no idea what I go through.
Hell, I'm ACTUALLY LOSING MY FUCKING HAIR from stress!!!!! I'm 35 years old, have a family of my own (finally), have made a lot of mistakes along the way, but always trying to fix them and have NO regrets.
What perplexes me about my mother too is the fact that my first marriage, was a huge mistake - and she will NEVER let me forget that or live it down, but in the same breath, she tells me that she loves my son more than anything on the face of this earth and would give ANYTHING if she could take this disease away (as would I, in a heartbeat!)
But....she can do NOTHING but tell me what an not a very nice person I was for marrying my first husband and how I should have listened, etc...
If I had listened, I wouldn't have the 2 beautiful children that I have today.
If it weren't for ME taking care of him 24/7 - he wouldn't be healthy, happy and loved...
And when I told her that I was taking him to counseling because he was very angry (a stage of diabetes that I talked to the Dr. about yesterday and he shows ALL of the classic signs), she said that I was QUITTING and GIVING UP on taking care of him. Then the punches flew.
Tears ran down my face as I sat in silence and just took the abuse.
Then as I said "Mom, I didn't call to fight with you, I called to find out how you were doing" her reply was "When you call here from now on, don't ask to talk to me, talk to your father since you 2 get along so famously". Then asked if I loved her.
I won't apologize to her. I have nothing to be sorry about. I KNOW in my heart and soul that I'm doing good here in the situation that we ALL have been thrown in. From the fucking beast this year to my son being diagnosed with diabetes. It's ALL NEW to me.
All I want from my mother, and all I have EVER wanted from her is some support. A tap on the shoulder every once in a BLUE MOON to say "You're doing a really great job, you're a good mom". That's it. That's ALL I have EVER wanted. Not money, not materialistic things, nothing.....just support and love. And I can't have that.
And knowing I can't have that, yet...I keep trying everyday....I should just lie to her and tell her taht everything is JUST FINE. But I'm not a good liar. I can't do it. Because I'm ALWAYS hoping that the next day will bring a change.
I'm stupid. It will never change. So I come here to vent.
I'm so sick of venting.
If I ever hit the lottery - the first thing I would do is donate WHATEVER IT TOOK to Clusterheadaches AND Diabetes to find a fucking cure. THEN..I would buy a house out of the SHITHOLE stuck up, snooty town that I live in and finally get on with my life.
I'm so selfish though right?
I have nothing positive to say right now except for thank you - thank you for the love, understanding and support you have all shown me today. Thank you.
Toni
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
echo
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
Gender:
Posts: 4214
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #8 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 12:58pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Don't know what to say to make you feel better Toni. Wish we could sit across from each other, share a cup of coffee and let you vent.
I love my mother dearly -- but she can drive me half nuts in about 30 minutes. Bringing up all the crap I've done wrong for the last 49 years.
Take care Toni
|
|
IP Logged |
"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
|
|
|
helpless23
New Board Old Timer
Gender:
Posts: 269
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #9 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 1:25pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Thanks.
I wish I had someone that I could actually sit FACE TO FACE with and talk.
Everyone is getting so sick of me saying the same things over and over again.
I feel very alone. And to top it all off, my son just threw back my mother's words in my face saying: "Nan's right. You can't handle anything. You don't know how to do anything right".
And I just got off the phone with the counselor from the diabetes hospital and she told me to contact a family counselor for all of us (not my parents) but I can't stop crying long enough to even make that call.
I wish I lived farther South so I could meet some of you.
Toni
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Melissa
Guest
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #10 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 1:41pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
My mom died 3 yrs ago, and even though she was a redheaded bi-polar hell on wheels, I still miss her dearly. The berating doesn't matter when they're gone because you find that it is only talk and not part of the big picture. Yeah, my mom and I got into fights...physical fights even when I was a teen, she also had no patience and a wrath that would even make my dad sit in fear, but she still loved us and the saying is true, "you don't know what you got, until it's gone." 
Take a moment to step outside your world and look at a globe. There are billions of people on this planet who have it worse. Some are killed by their parents, or molested, or abandonded. Sometimes you gotta think to yourself, "well, she's a loon and I don't have to take into consideration what she's telling me if I don't want to", and then let it go. I find that the less resentment or anger you hold inside of you, at the person you love so dearly, makes it easier and less stressful for you to cope in just everyday life. Remember, that is how they are and they are responsible for themselves. You don't need to take their feelings as a load upon your back, because eventually, your back WILL break.
Hang in there and stay positive,
 mel
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
BruceD
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got Atrium?
Gender:
Posts: 507
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #11 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 1:55pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Hi Toni,
Rock said it pretty well ...
on Jul 8th, 2004, 12:18pm, Rock_Lobster wrote:| We must love our mothers, while keeping in mind that they grew up in houses chock-full of lead paint. |
|
Seriously, the problem that your mother has is not with you ... it is with herself. She can't let anything go and lets it bottle up inside & poisons her thoughts, words, and actions. That's not to say that she has good moments ... it's just saying that what she is doing is wrong. She's constantly transferring whatever anger & resentment that she has with everything onto your shoulders.
The point is that you cannot let it drag you down. Why are you taking care of your son? Is it to please your mother, or is it because you love your son & want him to be well? Just from the short amount that you've typed here I know for a fact that it is the latter reason that drives you. So ... you've got a teenager who doesn't eat and plays games ... WOW, there's a big shocker! Let's face it, a bag of chips & a coke is what a lot of kids want. Let him take a multivitamin each day & who cares what he eats ... don't sweat the little stuff.
As far as how diet affects diabetes ... sure, I know that it plays a crucial role (2 of my close cousins had diabetes), but that's just one of those things that he will step up and deal with. He knows when he starts to feel like crud when his blood sugar is messed up. He knows that he can help himself with the right foods at the right times. Just be there for him to help him make good decisions ... not you deciding for him, but him learning to make the good choice.
I know that battling a mother can be draining. My mom never let stuff go (even the little worthless stuff) and always let it cloud her heart. Her method was the silent treatment for the whole family - sometimes for days at a time. The thing I learned is that her behavior has no bearing on how I behave. I learned to not take it personally, because she was really just being childish.
I know it's hard on you, and I also know that I should have just shut up & let you vent but I just wanted to let you know you ARE doing good by being a mother to your son. Keep it up, and as hard as it may seem ... don't let your mom get under your skin! It's not worth it ... trust me!
BruceD
|
|
IP Logged |
Childhood is short, maturity is forever. (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)
|
|
|
helpless23
New Board Old Timer
Gender:
Posts: 269
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #12 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 2:19pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Jul 8th, 2004, 1:41pm, Melissa wrote:
Take a moment to step outside your world and look at a globe. There are billions of people on this planet who have it worse. Some are killed by their parents, or molested, or abandonded.
|
|
Don't I know it. I can't say how, but I know it.
So when I say to myself, in this type of situation that people have it worse off than I do - that's true. But in my eyes, my kids have been through the ringer and then some, and the ONLY thing they have EVER had to hold on to, punch, kick and scream at was ME. Because to THEM, I'm safe and they KNOW that I would NEVER throw them to the curb or ever hurt them in any way.
Knowing all of this, having my mother and father see me go through it, all the counseling and all of the "psychiatry sessions" with the kids, and all that...she still says this to me.
And to answer your question Bruce....Yes, it's the latter of the 2. I do it for HIM and only HIM. To keep him healthy so he can live a normal life and grow like a normal child. The food - it's an issue. He gets low, feels crappy, and then will do the same thing over again the next day.
My mother has NO IDEA what I go through.
I wasn't kidding when I said that I was losing my hair. I am in all honesty. I also lost 15 pounds from stress alone because Lord knows that I cannot stick to any diet.
Yesterday, as the teacher was at the door knocking, I took a terrible fall. My cat got in between my legs and tripped me. We live on a concrete slab, so the floors are hard. I fell right on my knees. My left knee, I had surgery on twice with no remedy. I called my parents, as I do EVERY SINGLE day to see how they were, come to find out from my father that they spent the night in the hospital with my mother because her back hurt. I didn't know. I wish they would have called. I offered to go down there and do some shopping or whatever they needed to get done, my father assured me they were fine. When I asked if my mother was there, he said she was sleeping. I told him not to wake her, let her get her rest and that I would call later. I called later, around 7 o'clock to find out how she was doing and she was sleeping again. I told my father again not to bother her, but let her know that I called and was asking for her. He asked how I was, I told him about my little fall and that I was in some pain, but would be OK.
I call this morning, and I'm a monster in my mother's eyes. Think that she would even ask how I felt? Is that being selfish? To me, it's looking for love from your mother.
No matter how bad things get here, if I lose my patience with either one of my kids, I ALWAYS go into their rooms immediately and tell them that I'm sorry, that I shouldn't have said or acted like that, and that I love them. I tell them that EVERYDAY! I never got that as a child. I KNEW that my parents loved me...but it was never spoken.
So when it comes to not knowing what you've got until it's gone - even though she is my mother - she should STILL realize...just ONCE that I have been a good person,, a good mother and that I love them both dearly and just give me some support.
Otherwise, i'm afraid that I will have to do what Gator did and tell her to stay out of my life. I have enough on my plate and it's getting very full, very fast.
Im here, on ch.com as a SUPPORTER, but it constantly feels like I'm the one needing the support and that, to me, is a sign of weakness. I try TO BITE MY TONGUE NOT to say anything defensive to her - but I can't. It's just not who I am.
And I would NEVER change who I am for anyone...not even my mother. She should respect me as a person, and treat me like her daughter. My mother has NEVER done that. It's a constant power struggle with her. She has to be in control, or it's not good enough.
Thanks for all of the support here guys. Any input any of you have is very helpful.
Thanks for letting me rant too.
it helps.
Toni
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Melissa
Guest
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #13 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 2:47pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
First of all, let me say that I am NOT trying to tell you how to feel!! I was telling you how "I" felt at my own situation. Secondly, you cannot expect someone, least of all your parents, to act the way you want them to. It seems you are looking for acceptance from them, and perhaps counseling for you would be a good route to take since you are having problems accepting conversations that have to do with your mother's opinions. I know not everyone is like me, nor do I expect them to act like I do or think like I do, all I am here for is to tell of my own experience and maybe give some advice which people can either take or leave.
Quote:| Otherwise, i'm afraid that I will have to do what Gator did and tell her to stay out of my life. I have enough on my plate and it's getting very full, very fast. |
|
I've had to do this with family members in the past, because my sanity and mental well-being is most important to me than exhausting all my energy trying to get someone to understand me or treat me better. It does not mean I gave up, but cut loose some ties that were negative and damaging to me as a person.
Quote:And I would NEVER change who I am for anyone...not even my mother. She should respect me as a person, and treat me like her daughter. My mother has NEVER done that. It's a constant power struggle with her. She has to be in control, or it's not good enough.
|
|
This is your perception of how she should act, but like I said before, you have no control over how she acts, only how YOU react to HER. You can either shake your head and let it go and realize that she has problems with how she acts with her own parenting, or constantly worry about what she thinks of you and let yourself get beat down by the berating.
Hope you don't mind a different view, but you posted your frustrations on this board, and even though you may find some of what I say harsh, it IS my opinion that you can do with what you wish.
hugs,
mel
|
| « Last Edit: Jul 8th, 2004, 2:52pm by Melissa » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
   
Gender:
Posts: 14968
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #14 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 2:58pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Sorry about all this but it looks familiar.
From what you say, you're dealing with all these problems in a
better than average fashion while putting up with your mom.
This is a control thing. Garrison Keillor once said that life is pretty
simple in that we are designed to propagate and then get the hell
out of the way so the next bunch of brats can do the same. It's the
way a successful species works and unfortunately, humans know they
become dead weight. Dealing with this isn’t easy. As a result, we sometimes
have an added set of "children."
You're not alone. It isn't your fault. Sadly, as most of us get brighter
they get a bit dimmer. Don't beat yourself up. Mom hated my squeeze too. She wasn’t in
control and it was no fun for her. It’s just the way it is.
Anyway, feel free to come here and rant. You'll get a lot of support
from clusterheads; it's what we do. Unfortunately, you’re having to
deal with non-support and illness as well. we understand that too.
Perhaps if you step back for a time.....maybe a long time, things will
ease up. Maybe not but you might want to leave the door a bit ajar.
You're doing just fine and stick around. We're here for you.
Charlie
|
|
IP Logged |
There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
|
|
|
Tiannia
New Board Hall of Famer
Life does not apologies......
Gender:
Posts: 3241
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #15 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 3:37pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Your mom and my mom must be sisters. Cause that is about what she thinks of me too.
Sorry hun. I know it is hard when the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally throws that at you. But you know that it is not you. It is her. You are a wonderful person who has given so much of her life to help not only your son but so many other people.
-Tia
|
|
IP Logged |
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
|
|
|
Grandma_Sweet_Boy
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
What Goes Around Comes Around!
Gender:
Posts: 3267
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #16 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 5:10pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Check your email
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
jonny
Guest
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #17 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 6:36pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
You hang in there, Toni
Lots of folks have your back here!
.....................................jonny
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
purpleydog
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Posts: 2240
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #18 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 9:27pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Hey Toni
I know exactly where you're coming from. I have pretty much cut my mother out of my life for my own mental health. She was very disapproving of me, and always brought it up when the whole family was there. I am the complete opposite of her and she doesn't like that. So I see her twice a year on holidays. I won't play her games anymore, so she has stopped criticizing me.
My paternal grandmother is the same way. She spends all her time complaining about all the wrongs that were done to her in her life by family members. All but one of her kids are not speaking to her. She had a fight with her sister 35 years ago and hasn't spoken to her since. She is very controlling and has to be the center of attention. I can't understand why she spends so much energy hating people.
You say there's a constant power struggle between you and your mother for control. Try to remember that you are the one in control at your house. I had to set some boundaries for myself between my mother and I. If she starts up with you on the phone, try to change the subject. If she keeps up, tell her you have to go and hang up. When she's at your house, you can do the same thing. It is perfectly ok to ask her to leave. But most importantly, and this is the hard part, don't react when she tears into you. Your mother obviously doesn't respect you and for some sadistic reason likes to see you in tears while she's telling you how bad a person you are. It took me awhile to do this, but I did and it made me a stronger person.
Here's the thing- you are NOT a bad person. You love your family and they know it. And they love you. You have made some mistakes in your life, just like everybody else has and learned from them. This makes you a great person and a great mom. Some people NEVER learn from their mistakes. Try telling yourself that. Don't listen to your mom- she's wrong. When she learns she won't get a reaction from you, she'll stop. Keep being the strong person you are. You can do it!!
lots of hugs
pd
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Jimi
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Who loves ya baby!
Gender:
Posts: 2286
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #19 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 9:29pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Toni,
You have received some good advice here. We have no control on who our mothers are or what they themselves may have been thru. Alas, we cannot pick and choose our mothers. The problem is indeed hers. What is important is how you respond to it. And realize what not to do in your own family. Have confidence in yourself and don;t worry about what she thinks. See my tag line below. I try to live by that.
|
|
IP Logged |
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
|
|
|
Tim_Z
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 559
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #20 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 10:18pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Hang in there Toni, I think most of us go through this. In my case it's my mother in law mostly complaining and the poor me syndrome. No one comes to see me, you don't do anything for me, gossip and lies from every direction and will air the family's dirty laundry in public to anyone who will listen to her. We never have been or will be good enough in her eyes for anything. She even once told me that I was the worst thing that ever happened to her and her family. Talk about being accepted. This all has to do with my stepson ( who I never refer to him as a stepson ). He is now 27 and going to be married this fall. He is the apple of her eye and nothing or nobody else matters, this is why she told me how terrible I was. I think in her mind I took him away from her. Now he's getting married and the blame is going to his girlfriend. This is just an ongonig thing, sometimes we go crazy and mostly we just ignore her. Yes the stress level maxes out at times. She can be the best lady ever at times and at other times it's so bad that we'll laugh at the stupid things she whines about. My boy has a son and this is my ammunition to get back at him. I love it. My grandson is so cool, he threw their remote in the toilet lol. Keep your chin up Toni our time here is short and we need to enjoy the good time when we can.
Take care.
Tim
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
cootie
New Board Hall of Famer
sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
Gender:
Posts: 8406
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #21 on: Jul 8th, 2004, 10:27pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Myself I think that what doesn't kill you.......can and often does weaken you.......in time........before you take charge and become stronger because of it. I've seen all kinds of battles in life.........sometimes it is better for all parties involved to sever ties for a while at least........"if" there the problem and turning your world upside down. If it's an unconcious power struggle that even she doesn't really understand it could be endless. If yer not strong enuff......end it now.......at least for a little while. Give yerself a mental break. Let her come to you......hope that made sense and I'm surely NOT tryin to break up a family here. I grow tired of bullshit......so I try to stay out of the crap....I do it for myself. So....call me selfish ? Hope your world becomes a better place. Pam
|
|
IP Logged |
Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
|
|
|
Ree
New Board Hall of Famer
2008's my year to shine~SUN IS OUT!!!YAY
 
Gender:
Posts: 5236
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #22 on: Jul 10th, 2004, 12:08am » |
Quote Modify
|
awwwwwwwwww (((((TONI))))) you know she was wrong......... actually she sounds menopausal to me... but. I agree whole heartedly with everyone here. Take a break but don't let it completely go... She deserves to explain where she is getting this from. Sounds to me like she is a little jealous of your relationship with your father. Regardless of who is doing the talking just because she is your MOM doesnt give her license to rip you down. You are a strong woman........... You have many many good qualities and if she said these things, it will take more than an apology to make them go away... Good luck........ Love to you Ree (I try to never say anything that I don't mean)
|
|
IP Logged |
Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
|
|
|
Gator
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 4556
|
|
Re: Let me introduce myself...
« Reply #23 on: Jul 10th, 2004, 5:33pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Jul 8th, 2004, 2:19pm, helpless23 wrote:Im here, on ch.com as a SUPPORTER, but it constantly feels like I'm the one needing the support and that, to me, is a sign of weakness.
Thanks for all of the support here guys. Any input any of you have is very helpful.
Thanks for letting me rant too.
it helps.
Toni |
|
Hey there, Toni. Supporters need a support network, too. Anyone that thinks what you do is easy doesn't have a clue. You need somewhere to go to vent and be heard and accepted unconditionally. A place to recharge your batteries.
You can vent and rant and recharge here. Take a deep breath and step back and look at the situation, then do whatever it takes to either resolve it or control it. Lots of opinions here, but our opinions don't mean diddly. You are the one that will have to find your solution. I think you already know what it is. You just need to find the courage to implement it.
Here's hoping you find peace with this soon, for the sake of you and your family.
Gator
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss