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Topic: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy steps (Read 298 times) |
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ExplodingEyeBall
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How to make your computer secure in 4 easy steps
« on: Jul 1st, 2004, 3:41pm » |
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ALL computers are subject to problems from virii/worms/trojans etc...
Here are the 4 easy steps to make your computer completely secure and free of problems no matter what operating system you use.
1. Disconnect your telephone line or network cable.
2. Turn it off and disconnect the power cable.
3. Put it back in the box it came in.
4. Lock it in a safe.
There you go. Now your problems are solved.
Pat
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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jhammer
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #1 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 3:47pm » |
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The only sure way 
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floridian
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Starting with an uninfected computer:
1) Establish an Air-Gap Interface (disconnect the network cable or modem).
2) only install software from a source you trust.
This approach is slightly less secure than EEB's idea, but the computer is a lot more usable. Is it a computer if it never computes??
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #3 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 3:53pm » |
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If man makes a statement in the woods and there's no woman around to hear it......Is he still wrong?
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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floridian
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #4 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 3:54pm » |
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I'm not the one to ask 
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Melissa
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #5 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 4:02pm » |
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on Jul 1st, 2004, 3:53pm, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:| If man makes a statement in the woods and there's no woman around to hear it......Is he still wrong? |
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yes.
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Opus
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #6 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 4:08pm » |
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Those aren't even close to secure.
1. Remove everything on the hard drive except your data.
2. Remove all cables from the computer, and remove any Wifi cards.
3. Place case in box, use pieces of metal to raise it off the floor of the box.
4. Pour concrete in box, making sure it flows under the case, let cure for 72 days.
That is a secure computer.
Opus/Paul
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #7 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 4:50pm » |
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Opus... I admit defeat here. Your method is definitely more secure than mine.
I guess that nix guys and M$ guys can see eye to eye once in a while.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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purpleydog
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #8 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 5:44pm » |
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on Jul 1st, 2004, 3:53pm, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:| If man makes a statement in the woods and there's no woman around to hear it......Is he still wrong? |
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you're kidding right? 
purpleydog
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alleyoop
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #9 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 7:11pm » |
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on Jul 1st, 2004, 4:08pm, Opus wrote:Those aren't even close to secure.
1. Remove everything on the hard drive except your data.
2. Remove all cables from the computer, and remove any Wifi cards.
3. Place case in box, use pieces of metal to raise it off the floor of the box.
4. Pour concrete in box, making sure it flows under the case, let cure for 72 days.
That is a secure computer.
Opus/Paul |
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Yea, but boot time is a bitch!
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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Opus
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #10 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 7:43pm » |
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Pat,
Any OS can be taken over, infected or wiped. The reports are still vague but it seems some Linux distro which runs in root with the firewall turned off by default is being turned into spambots. This doesn't sound like Lindowsspire does it? The biggest security risk is between the keyboard and chair, not just what they chose to run but how they choose to run it. With high security turned on, and all services turned off by default the security risk is lowered by default. I'm sure we also agree on this point
Opus/Paul
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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Opus
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #11 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 7:47pm » |
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on Jul 1st, 2004, 7:11pm, alleyoop49 wrote:
Yea, but boot time is a bitch!
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Nobody said it was usable but it certainly is secure, even a box not on a network can be compromised by someone breaking into the house, any password can be found, any encryption broken, nothing is safe.
Opus/Paul
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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jonny
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #12 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 9:53pm » |
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Kill them...Kill them all!!!! 
..................................jonny
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Jeepgun
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #13 on: Jul 2nd, 2004, 1:02pm » |
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Three easy steps to solve your computer aggravation:
1. Pick up sledgehammer.
2. Apply sledgehammer repeatedly to computer.
3. Drink a beer and bask in the feeling of a job well done.
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Azrael
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #14 on: Jul 3rd, 2004, 9:04pm » |
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Dammit... Jeep took my answer... Except he forgot to soak in in gasoline and torch it...
PFDAN............................. Drk^Angel
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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ClusterChuck
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Re: How to make your computer secure in 4 easy ste
« Reply #15 on: Jul 3rd, 2004, 9:09pm » |
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on Jul 1st, 2004, 4:02pm, Melissa wrote:
Typical female answer! Sheesh!!!!
Chuck
PS: Ducking and hiding now.
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
Thomas Fuller
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