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Topic: The Lighter Side... (Read 252 times) |
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Jeepgun
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The Way Children See Things...
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said
with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then,
'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note
from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now. She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a
little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at
a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
Tooth Fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit." "And why not, darling?" he asked. "You know that it always gives
you a headache the next morning."
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a
small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers, and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of
what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather,
and unto the Sonnn ... and into the hole he gooooes."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With
astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear.
Love & Laughter,
-Frank
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no-one
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aude sapere cogito ergo disce pati
  
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #1 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 8:47am » |
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Frank
Thanks for the Smiles this morning 
Becky
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"Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter....don't mind....And those that mind....don't matter."
Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov
Unless you believe, you will not understand.
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Luke63
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For sale: 1 BIG BARKING HEAD Price: Free
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #2 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 9:10am » |
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Nice -n-light Jeep......Good mornin!!!
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I think we should all get together and do a movie..."Night of The Clusterheads". George Romero would have nothing on us!!!
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Jeepgun
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Well, I'm feeling kinder and gentler today. I've put away my extra-sharp teeth and I'm feeling all mellow and stuff... (But wait! Let me finish my second pot of coffee and we'll get dis bee-yotch a-ROCKIN'!  )
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Peppermint
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Work it out baby!
 
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #4 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 10:09am » |
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Good ones Jeep! The ones about nudity are especially fun, kids certainly have their own way of "seeing" things LOL. Sometimes I like the way I see it better..
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You like apples? How ya like them apples?
When playing in the gym, beware of steel beams. - M. Amyx
Carve your name on hearts, and not on marble. - Charles H. Spurgeon
FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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BruceD
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #5 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 10:42am » |
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Speaking of "seeing things" ... What do you see in this picture?
Many of you have probably seen this before, but the gist of it is adults see the couple embracing but kids see 9 dolphins.
Later
BruceD
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Childhood is short, maturity is forever. (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)
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Jeepgun
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Dolphins??? What dolphins??? Who cares about dolphins?
*singing, "Let's Get It On."*
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thomas
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Took me FORever to find those dolphins. lol.
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Gator
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #8 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 2:51pm » |
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Great stuff Jeep and you too Bruce.  Ah the mind of a child.
Gator
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Leesa
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #9 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 3:27pm » |
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Jeep thats a great read thanks hun. Bruce I thought there were 10. Knew I missed one somewhere. LOL Art Linkletter said it best "kids say the darnest things"
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"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
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Peppermint
CH.com Alumnus
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Work it out baby!
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Re: The Lighter Side...
« Reply #10 on: Jun 16th, 2004, 4:51pm » |
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on Jun 16th, 2004, 10:42am, BruceD wrote:Speaking of "seeing things" ... What do you see in this picture?
Many of you have probably seen this before, but the gist of it is adults see the couple embracing but kids see 9 dolphins.
Later
BruceD
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Oh, uh, yea, that's right... dolphins, yea...
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You like apples? How ya like them apples?
When playing in the gym, beware of steel beams. - M. Amyx
Carve your name on hearts, and not on marble. - Charles H. Spurgeon
FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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