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Topic: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH) (Read 241 times) |
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Tiannia
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Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« on: May 26th, 2004, 12:45pm » |
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Hey buddy I wouldn't send this to you if I didn't think it would help.
Please read this....
It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then... to "loosen up". Inevitably,
though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a
social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it
wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally
I was thinking all the time.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied
and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned
off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that
night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me
in. He said, "Jim, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the
job, you'll soon have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been
thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking" she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if
you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with
NPR on the radio. I roared into t he parking lot and ran up to the big
glass doors... They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I
believe that some Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling grass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining
your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from
the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a
TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video (last week
it was "Porky's" , and then we share experiences about how we avoided
thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a
lot better at home.
Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
It keeps me alive to know that someday, somehow, all those memories of
Socrates and Dickinson and Fitzgerald will eventually fade into the back
of m y mind, never to be visited again as anything but the ghosts of the
shakiest period in my life. I rest confident now that I realize I too
can enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies and drink Budweiser and say things
like "don't go there!" while making those little quotation marks with my
index and middle fingers. I'm on step 11 now with Thinker's Anonymous;
the "make amendments with old sitcoms" step.
The next and final step in my healing process: voting Democrat.
 Don't take offence..... it is a joke. Change it to Republican if it makes you feel better.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Jeepgun
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #1 on: May 26th, 2004, 1:45pm » |
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Actually, I don't have much of a thinking problem. My conscience has done more to wreck my (sex)life than anything else.
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floridian
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #2 on: May 26th, 2004, 2:19pm » |
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Pretty funny up to the end - educational achievement, reading literature, and NPR are positively correlated with voting Democratic (with a high r-squared coefficient). Youth, unusal facial hair patterns, and emotional maladjustment are associated with voting for Nader.
If the first 90% of the thinking story is true, I'm in deep denial. Lemme reflect on that for a while.
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| « Last Edit: May 26th, 2004, 2:23pm by floridian » |
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Jeepgun
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #3 on: May 26th, 2004, 2:34pm » |
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I'm a member of MENSA. I've read most of the classics at least once, am mostly self-educated, and I'm voting Republican. Hrmmm... Then again, they broke the mold when they made me.
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Luke63
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #4 on: May 26th, 2004, 2:52pm » |
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Broke the Mold? Now that's the understatement of the century!
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I think we should all get together and do a movie..."Night of The Clusterheads". George Romero would have nothing on us!!!
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Tiannia
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #5 on: May 26th, 2004, 3:10pm » |
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My boss is a Rush Limbagh (I'm fairly sure that I spelled his mane wrong) fanatical Republican. He sent this to everyone on his email list. I simply thought you all would enjoy the first part of it at least. Was not intending to make a social commentary on the differences between political parties. Sorry if it offended anyone and/or insulted anyone.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #6 on: May 26th, 2004, 3:26pm » |
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I think I'm thinking?
Thinking that thinking is my problem
do ya think?
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aprilbee
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #7 on: May 26th, 2004, 3:26pm » |
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don't worry about it Tianna...I took it as a joke, and it was so funny!! It described me to a T unfortunately!!
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floridian
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #8 on: May 26th, 2004, 4:07pm » |
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No offense taken - its funny. I just think somebody tinkered with the ending before you got it. Swedes and Norwegians make fun of each other. Republicans and Democrats make fun of each other.
Usually the Norwegians spend lots of time trying to think up jokes about the Swedes, and the Swedes then spend up lots of time figuring out how to reverse engineer the joke. Problem is, after the Swedish use the 'find and replace' in their word processor to switch Swede with Norwegian the first time, everybody in the joke is a Norwegian. Then they replace Norwegian with Swede, and everyone in the joke is is a Swede.
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| « Last Edit: May 26th, 2004, 4:14pm by floridian » |
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Charlie
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #9 on: May 26th, 2004, 5:16pm » |
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I enjoyed it T. Lots of truth in it.
True about Scandinavians. Swedes know they're pretty funny. We usually do a good job making fun of ourselves.
Half of my town is comprised of dumb Swedes and the description comes from us.
Skol, Charlie
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jonny
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #10 on: May 26th, 2004, 5:51pm » |
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Hey Tia...... 
..................................jonny
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Tiannia
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Life does not apologies......
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #11 on: May 26th, 2004, 6:00pm » |
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on May 26th, 2004, 5:51pm, jonny wrote:
Hey Tia......
..................................jonny |
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Well at least you did not say 
Been a long day. I love it when the person I am working with is trying very hard to get me fired. 
-Tia
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Gator
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #12 on: May 26th, 2004, 6:12pm » |
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Very funny Tiannia. Both the joke and the response to jonny! 
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stevegeebe
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #13 on: May 26th, 2004, 8:53pm » |
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I won't be bringing the potato salad to the MENSA picnic but my thinking may get in the way of this solution for unhappiness.
Steve G
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BobG
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #14 on: May 27th, 2004, 4:19am » |
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on May 26th, 2004, 3:10pm, Tiannia wrote:| Sorry if it offended anyone and/or insulted anyone. |
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If anyone was offended by your joke then the thin-skinned SOB should ask his therapist to explain it.
I thought it was funny as hell. Thanks.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Jeepgun
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Re: Is Thinking ruining your life??? (Not CH)
« Reply #15 on: May 27th, 2004, 7:57am » |
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on May 27th, 2004, 4:19am, BobG wrote:
If anyone was offended by your joke then the thin-skinned SOB should ask his therapist to explain it.
I thought it was funny as hell. Thanks. |
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Ditto!
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