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Topic: What's Yer............. (Read 684 times) |
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Woobie
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What's Yer.............
« on: May 23rd, 2004, 10:35am » |
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Favorite, Funniest or Most Embarrassing moment as a kid?
I'm sick of all the bad stuff and people hurtin - need something else to talk about.............
just wanted to lighten things up........... and get my mind off of WAITING for the convention .....
i'll start. I have a lot of embarrassing moments...
Dad took my sister and I to a carnival one year - I was about 7. We went into a glass house. We were in there FOREVER, my sister and I. Finally, I saw my dad thru the glass and he waved.
I told my sister that was the way out.. she said no... we argued. I thought for sure that I was right. We argued more. Then I ran full speed ahead.. SLAMMED into the glass.
Knocked myself OUT and had a big HUGE honkin bruised nose for two weeks. Had to go to school like that... UGH!
Hate it when I'm wrong like that. 
TELL ME A STORY! k?
tina 
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| « Last Edit: May 23rd, 2004, 2:09pm by Woobie » |
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Melissa
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #1 on: May 23rd, 2004, 10:52am » |
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Mine didn't happen when I was a kid (although there were PLENTY of bad embarrasing moments having to do with other girls who picked on me big time...), mine happened 2 years ago at the Vancouver convention.
I'm sure those of you who were there will remember....
A bunch of us were getting our orders takin by a waiter, who seemed to like to flirt with the ladies there. I had had a few Molson's and was feelin pretty, uh, happy when the waiter bent down for a kiss on the cheek. So I figured, what the hell? I went to kiss him on the cheek when all of a sudden he turned his head and planted one right on my lips!!! OMG I could feel my face get hotter than fire itself as I FREAKED out!!! Everyone was silent at first and then they started LAUGHING! Here I am trying to hide my face and shrink down in my chair as much as possible and they're all laughing! The turds  . Anyway, I had NEVER EVER been so embarrassed before as I did at that moment.
*sigh* CRAZY Canuks!!! 
mel
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cootie
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #2 on: May 23rd, 2004, 11:59am » |
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One of my most recent 'blonde moments' was when I handed the cashier my check and had signed my name.... 'Walmart'.................good grief..........there more where that came from Pam
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Woobie
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #3 on: May 23rd, 2004, 12:33pm » |
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Wish I was in Vancouver to see that.. LMAO. I'm sorry Mel, but I would have laughed too! THat IS pretty funny.... 
and Cootie - i've done the EXACT same thing!!! At WalMart even!! LMAO!
............ but CHILDHOOD MEMORIES...........
I cant sleep.......... 
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| « Last Edit: May 23rd, 2004, 12:33pm by Woobie » |
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Redd
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #4 on: May 23rd, 2004, 12:52pm » |
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Although I personally don't remember it, over the years I've had to endure hearing the story told over and over.
I was about 2 years old, and my Father, Mother, and I were attending a sales convention with my Father's business partner and wife, and his son, daughter and grandson.
All eight of us were at dinner, and on stage that night was a fashion show. With all the hubbubb and conversation (and drinking between Lou and my Father), no one noticed for a bit that little me had wandered away from the table...untill they saw me up on that stage toddling aroun, and only becuase the announcer being very professional, begain to describe the "cute little modle here in the pastel green dress with the white polka dots".
It was the story my Dad told to everyone who would listen from that day forward.
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BillyJ.
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #5 on: May 23rd, 2004, 12:54pm » |
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So ya need a laugh eh?
This rich dude near Boston decided that he wanted to throw a party
and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Jonny,
the only long haired,tattooed freak in the neighborhood. He held the party around the
pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time
drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with the
women.
At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating
gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the
balls to jump in." The words were barely out of his mouth when there
was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Jonny in the pool!
Jonny was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Jonny was jabbing the
gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds
of shit like head butts and chokeholds, biting the gator on the tail
and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Jonny and the
gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Jonny strangled the gator
and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish. Jonny then slowly
climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Jonny, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Jonny.
The rich man said, "Man,I have to give you something. You won the bet.
How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Jonny.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something.
That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock
options?
Again Jonny said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Jonny, then what do you want?"
Jonny said, "I want the name of the muthafucka who pushed me in the pool."
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Melissa
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #6 on: May 23rd, 2004, 12:57pm » |
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Billy ya dupa, that's a funny joke and all but we want to hear about something embarrassing that happened to YOU.
Tina just wants to keep these on file in case she wants to use them as ammo in the future.
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Leesa
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #7 on: May 23rd, 2004, 12:58pm » |
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OMG LMAO this is funny stuff and I think I can add to this.
Im 8 and doing my thing in my gym class gettin ready for our spring fling to show off what we have learned. HAHAHAHA To fit in the rest of the girls I wanted to wear my very first set of panty hose which my mother was totally against. *now I know why* I was ready to get up on the bars with my parnten and my feet slipped out from under me and I fell flat on my butt!! The whole school was there watching! I never knew how slick panty hose were on the blasted mats!! I was called "slick" after that from then on!! Hmmmmm wonder why??
Leesa
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Woobie
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #8 on: May 23rd, 2004, 12:59pm » |
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LMAO! MEL...
actually - i want to laugh at someone OTHER than myself today.
I did something REALLLLLYYYYY stupid and embarrassing - and I just wanna know the stupid shit other's have done - so I dont feel so bad.
LMAO!
Good story BillyJ...............
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Leesa
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #9 on: May 23rd, 2004, 1:35pm » |
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Billy I see opportunity knocked an ya opened the door! ROTLFLMMFAO It fits sooooooo well too!! Now thats funny!! I can picture Jonny do that too. LMMFAO
Leesa
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Karla
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #10 on: May 23rd, 2004, 1:35pm » |
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I had a party at my house and it was full of people. I had a water sprinkler running in the back yard. I decided it was time to move the sprinkler. I went running out my patio door, barefoot, toward the sprinkler but much to my suprise the ground was very wet and slippery. I started to slide right into the sprinkler. I was afraid my toes were going to be mush so I made an attempt to jump over the sprinkler. Well I went airborne and ended up doing a bellyflop on the other side. I hit the ground very hard but everyone in the house saw me do that and busted out laughing. I came back into the house very red and wet. None of my friends will let me live this down.  Man I hurt thinking about it. lol
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Karla
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Jeepgun
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #11 on: May 23rd, 2004, 2:06pm » |
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As you will all find out in Nashville at the convention, I am horribly clumsy. I drop stuff, break stuff, trip over stuff, spill stuff... I'm a walking disaster area, so everyone, just please be careful. "Hurricane Frank" will be touching down in Nashville.... LOL
Anyway, when I lived in Japan, I used to go to this little mall, in which there was a china shop that sold little tea sets, mugs, urns, and various pottery. I love the stuff... The shop was run by a little old man and his wife. They really liked me, since I am an American but also am fluent in Japanese. I would always make a point of stopping in to say hello, but it never failed: Everytime I went in there, I would end up breaking something. One time, I went in, said hello, and left, WITHOUT breaking something! I imagined the little old man screaming that the natural order of the universe had been overturned, running to a shelf, grabbing an urn and smashing it on the floor. LOL
Another time, I was set for a very formal date with the woman I was dating at the time. I dressed up in a nice pinstripe, double-breasted suit. Damn, I looked GOOD! (So I thought..) After taking the hour-long train ride to her house, I arrived and the first words out of her mouth: "Your fly's open." Uh... So much for dapper, dashing, and debonaire! LOL
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Jimmy_B
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #12 on: May 23rd, 2004, 2:50pm » |
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I was about 16 y/o & this new girl moves in the neighborhood...she's from the south & she was HOT. So anyway a few days later I see a friend of mine...haven't seen him in a while. Well he pulls up in his Black van (no side windows) so I go one about this girl...saying something to the effect...Man...dude. I'd give my left testicle, for one night with her.
Turns out, he was dating her & she pops up from the back of the van....
Good times...Good times.
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fubar
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #13 on: May 23rd, 2004, 3:14pm » |
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A few years ago, I was in Istanbul, Turkey. In the Grand Bazaar, you have hundreds of little shops that look like they've been there for a thousand years. One in particular looked like it has some interesting stuff, so I allowed the insistant hawker to drag me inside. He offered me a cup of hot tea and a look at some finer things he had in a very tight loft upstairs, so I carefully went up the steps to see. The walls everywhere were covered with various brass and tin objects and there was no handrail. Navigating the steps was a delicate ballet, and eventually I made it to the tight quarters upstairs. We sat, had a cup of tea, and looked at a bunch of things that I didn't want to buy. Escaping one of these places can be a challange in itself, since they are perhaps the most persistant sales people on the planet. So when I was attempting to leave, I found myself talking more than thinking, and as I tried to simultaneously navigate my way down the steps and beg out of there, I slipped and started sliding down the makeshift steps from the loft to the main floor. I was already too big to fit in the passage way, but now my arms, in a desperate attempt to save my own life, were clearing the walls on both sides of approximately 2-300 pounds of (now dented) brass objects, which all came to rest in a nice pile at the bottom of the steps (me underneath).
I was *sure* the next thing I was going to see was a Turkish prison.
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"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
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cootie
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #14 on: May 23rd, 2004, 3:28pm » |
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Hey I think I was at that party Billy mention'd......ha-ha-ha......only I wasn't flirtin with the girls. OK Woobs.......what did you go and do today ?? Curiosity is mounting Pam
I do sumthin stupid everyday..........or so it seems............I''m a blonde moment waitin to happen
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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kimh
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #15 on: May 23rd, 2004, 5:29pm » |
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Funny you should ask, Woobie 
My mom was sick so dad hadda get us all ready fer school.....
outfits for that day were very ummm creative?
lunch preparation was a science project (dad had some sort of confrontation with saran wrap?)
after a brief commotion -- ("Bumps" ,our English drooling ass licking Bulldog escaped and was captured), we were sent on our respective directions to the bus stop. The minutes ticked by and we (my brother sister and myself began to wonder where everyone was...............me being the oldest, decided to knock on the neighbors door. There I was standing on the front stoop with books and lunch box with lopsided hair and "unique" outfit -- only to be told that there was NO SCHOOL that day (teacher conferences )
Thankfully, mom recovered and was soon back in the saddle
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| « Last Edit: May 23rd, 2004, 5:34pm by kimh » |
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Cerberus
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #16 on: May 23rd, 2004, 6:17pm » |
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Here's one woobs hasnt heard...
At the tender age of about 14 almost all the guys were in little league...."pony" division (fer those that don't know its the division just before reaching high school level baseball.
In any event it was the last regular game before the city tournament was to begin...we were already a lock for the tournament but it was now a matter of what seed we would be going in. The game was against Optimist's club a team we had played several times before and were no strangers to.
One of the guys I went to school with was scheduled to pitch against us that day and I knew his "stuff" well, we played catch and street ball on off days. Anyhow after playing 9 innings we came to the tenth and the weather had been a bitch 900.000 degrees it seemed like. Bruce (the opposing pitcher)was tiring and it was our half of the inning trailing 4-3 with a runner in scoring position and two outs. Guess who's turn it is to bat? Thats right mine...
Anyway as I said I was familiar with his pitching he had three pitches that he could get over with relative ease but only the fastball had any real life left on it because of the intense heat of the day and I knew it. I dug in and took the first toss for a strike, a fastball right down the middle (I wasnt going to make it easy for him) I took a couple of pitches out of the zone and fouled a couple off, the count was now 3-2 "Full" and it was do or die for both of us. I took measures to stall him as best I could calling "Time" as I dug into the batter's box making sure my feet were set (anything to mess up his rhythm) I knew the fastball was all he had left and he had to get it in for a strike or I would walk in a run tying the game.
Bruce wound up...and flashed his best fastball delivery and just before he released the pitch he pulled up on it and threw me a painfully slllllloooooowww knuckleball that didn't even make it to the plate.....in anticipation of the fastball I swung so early it had barely left his hand by the time I followed through the swing and we lost the game.
The trauma was soo bad I have flashbacks of it while watching pro ball on TV and someone whiffs on a bad pitch......my nerves got the best of me.
Ramon
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john123
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #17 on: May 23rd, 2004, 7:03pm » |
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EDITED TO REMOVE NICETIES TO ANTI_SOCIALS
An embarrassing moment, out of common decency I won't try to tell the most embarrassing one...
it is high school, I stopped getting embarrassed not long after that. high school track 1986, the teammates had a running joke of 'dp'ing or depantsing each other, AKA pulling each others shorts down to the tidy wighties. It sounds gay, but it was just stupid high school shit. Anyway, I got DPed at State, the problem is they yanked the whole clothing package down leaving me exposed to a crowd of folks, all races and hell-of-a-lot of nationalities. Thankfully, it was not cold that day
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| « Last Edit: May 25th, 2004, 1:59pm by john123 » |
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bobkip
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #18 on: May 23rd, 2004, 7:28pm » |
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The year was 1946 and I was six. Dad took us to Kennywod park. He was a combat veteran just back from WWII and I guess he figured his kid was tough so he took me on The Jack Rabbit. At the time it was one of the fastest coasters in the country starting out with a nasty double dip. We were in the last seat where the most action is and when we hit that double dip he thought I was going to wet myself. For years after that I wouldn't go any where near that coaster tho I could ride the other coasters at the park.
Kip
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Kevin_M
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #19 on: May 23rd, 2004, 7:51pm » |
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Ok, but just one from my book o' boners that will someday become a trilogy.
I was about 9 trying to get the rust off the rim of my bicycle with a brillo pad and it was not going so well. My mother pulls in the driveway from shopping and I mention, "it don't seem to be coming off." As she walks by into the house she says "You know what you need is some elbow grease." A few more minutes of rubbing at the rust and I jump on my bike and ride to the hardware store and ask the guy behind the counter for some elbow grease. He looks... and looks..."You mean bear grease son?" "No, I said, my mother says I need to buy some elbow grease to get the rust off my bike." He just stares and says, "no, we don't have any elbow grease."
I go home and seriously, ask my mother, "Where am I supposed to get elbow grease from, I went to the hardware store and asked for some and he said they don't sell it and only have bear grease. Where am I supposed to GET elbow grease from, who sells it?" She gave me a "are you for real" look for about a second before she blurted out laughing.
Page twelve, book one of a three volume set.
Kevin M
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Ree
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #20 on: May 23rd, 2004, 8:58pm » |
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I got drunk and kereokeeeeeeeeed... that was probably the last time I got drunk............ I jusssssss don't trust myself...
When I was little the most embarrassing thing was that my mom made me dress weird... I had this rain coat that was plastic see through and it had polka dots all over it........ you could see my clothes through it and that bugged me............ I prayed that the sun would shine every day......... She also made me wear ankle socks with sandles. Boy did I break loose once I could, creating a style that is mine and mine alone..... hence the beginning of my dungaree/era........If it ain't denim... I don't wear it............ ree
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stevegeebe
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #21 on: May 23rd, 2004, 9:18pm » |
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At four years old, I told my Dad that I no longer required that he hold my hand and lift me over the top part of the escalator. It was not explained to him in this manner as I recall.
Next thing I remember, some guy with one of those fifties hats stopped my tumble with his foot about two-thirds of the way to the first floor.
Stiches across the top of the head.
Now, I always hold my Dads hand in this situation.
Steve G
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Carl_D
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #22 on: May 23rd, 2004, 10:53pm » |
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When I was 5, I was goofing around in church and accidently hit my funny bone while the preacher was giving his sermon. In between his words I yelled "Son of a bitch!" real loud and everyone in the church turned around and looked at me. Right then my mom slapped me and I yelled "Damnit Mom!" I know for sure my mom was embarrased. That night I got a mouthful of soap.
Too many other embarrasing moments to mention - I'd be too embarrassed.
Peace,
Carl D
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cootie
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #23 on: May 23rd, 2004, 11:00pm » |
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Hey I forgot a good one for laughs that happen'd Sat nite.....went to our friends annual hog roast and they of course had a DJ like always. It's me and two other friends birthdays so the DJ calls us up to recieve the cake and everyone see us and sing happy birthday. They handed the cake to my girlfreind to take back to the big folding table area everyone sits at under the big tent. She works at as sports bar and is used to carrying stuff with one hand. She took three steps and tripped and fell on her face with ass in the air and the cake slamming the ground top first which flatten'd it. Good gawd was that ever the funniest thing I have witnessed in a long long time. I cracked up over it for hours esp with that poor grassy dirt cake sittin at the end of the table after she peeled it off the ground. Lets jus say this was definetly one of my freinds most embarrassing moments in front of a large crowd. Flopped my cake and ate it too Pam
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Sean_C
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Re: What's Yer.............
« Reply #24 on: May 23rd, 2004, 11:27pm » |
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on May 23rd, 2004, 12:54pm, BillyJ. wrote:Jonny said, "I want the name of the muthafucka who pushed me in the pool."
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LMMFAO...that made my day Bill
Sean
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