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Topic: Pain and Creativity (Read 1015 times) |
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Gator
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Pain and Creativity
« on: May 19th, 2004, 2:40pm » |
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Sometimes it amazes me that there is such a link between pain and creativity. It seems some of the most creative people suffer from great pains. Ramon and Zaira are prime examples. While I will never reach those heights of creativity, it seems this beast has unlocked something from long ago in me as well. It seems that it is only after a strong attack, that I get the urge to write. I have posted a couple poems and I appreciate the kind comments on them. Last night was no exception. After an attack that O2 just tickled the beast and even the zomig took a while longer than normal to work, I was driven to the keyboard again. For better or worse I am posting it here for you to see.
The Beast Cometh
He comes in the night
like a tiger on the prowl
He strikes in my sleep
Oh no, that's him now
He sneaks up behind me
Takes my head in his claw
He rips at my eyeball
And tears at my jaw
I spring from the bed
Won't disturb the wife's dream
Hurry to another room
And stifle a scream
The O2 is flowing
Now breathing so deep
But the oxygen tonight
Won't halt the beast's creep
I push on my right eye
So hard it may pop
I bang my head hard and cry
God, please make it stop
The nose runs and tears come
My eyelid so swollen
The beast he just laughs
At the night's sleep he's stolen
The pain it now eases
And worn from the fight
I collapse in my recliner
But try as I might
I can't go to sleep now
The beast I do fear
Will attack me again
Just as sleep does draw near
This pain is unending
So many drugs tried
Life isn't worth living
I think, suicide
The bottle is empty
The pills in my hand
Just swallow them down
They don't understand
My hands are so shaky
My chest is so tight
It's just too damned easy
But I know it's not right
I put the pills down now
And walk through the house
I watch my kids sleeping
Then back to my spouse
She wakes and she holds me
She says it's okay
She tells me she loves me
The dark clouds drift away
I finally lay sleeping
Forgetting the dread
My wife holds my hand
As we lie there in bed
Sweet dreams flow upon me
my nightmare has ceased
But off in the distance
No, Oh God NO! the cry of the beast
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echo
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #1 on: May 19th, 2004, 2:42pm » |
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Nicely put Gator.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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broomhilda
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #2 on: May 19th, 2004, 2:45pm » |
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Excellent!!!! Well said and written!
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Suck it up Princess...
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Jeepgun
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The part about going back to bed and being held brought tears. Nice work, man.
-Frank
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JDH
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #4 on: May 19th, 2004, 2:50pm » |
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Nice Gator.
I can definitely relate to that.
Jim
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Leesa
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #5 on: May 19th, 2004, 2:52pm » |
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AWSOME Gator!! Very nice stuff bro!!
Leesa 
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"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." General H. Norman Schwarzkopf 
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Redd
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #6 on: May 19th, 2004, 2:59pm » |
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I've yet to dedicate anything to the faceless beast...and your words describe it so well. As with Jeep the line of being held brought another tear to my eye, but probably not for the same reasons. However, If I may, share the piece I did write in regard to the ass who nearly took my life. But this is your thread and your permission is needed to do so.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Lizzie2
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #7 on: May 19th, 2004, 2:59pm » |
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Wow Gator! That's a great poem! How true...
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Cerberus
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #8 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:01pm » |
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Man....
Been there sooo many times it aint even funny. Among the personal disparity.....well still hold so much in common. Thanks for putting into words what is hard to explain to others.
Great Job!
Ramon
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Luke63
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #9 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:04pm » |
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Go Gator!! 
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I think we should all get together and do a movie..."Night of The Clusterheads". George Romero would have nothing on us!!!
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Gator
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #10 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:09pm » |
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Thanks folks for the kind words. Posting these things is like putting your soul on public display. I'm glad to have a place to go where people are so understanding.
on May 19th, 2004, 2:59pm, Redd715 wrote:| However, If I may, share the piece I did write in regard to the ass who nearly took my life. But this is your thread and your permission is needed to do so. |
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I would be honored to hear it, m'lady. The stage is yours.
Gator
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #11 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:12pm » |
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I'm absolutely speechless.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Redd
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #12 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:14pm » |
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Thank you for this Gator....
MAN WITHOUT SOUL
there was a time you were my lover
kept me warm when nights grew cold
left an image like no other
with emerald eyes that flashed with gold
seduced by your imitation
of a soul that harbored class
your diamond in the rough facade
I found was made of glass
I had faith in your deceptions
I bought in to all your lies
and I trusted when you swore to me
there would be no ill surprise
I asked all the right questions
but it was you who failed to tell
'twas not a simple stroke of humor
your claim to be a child of hell
you enticed the love of my children
and invited them to trust
then broke their hearts, their souls and minds
with your selfish wanderlust
But now that all the pieces fit
and the truth's come into view
I knew only of the image
not the true, the real you
If I could have predicted,
if I could have only known,
that your love was only fist deep
turned to battered flesh and bone
I would have run as long and as far
as it took to stay away
You must have thought me daft and dumb
when we first set under way
"It only gets better", you always said
but it got better for whom?
It certainly wasn't me as was clear
by my blood sprayed about the room
A love I thought would last forever
in an instant came to an end
but the memories they linger still
with pain only time can mend
The cuts and scars, the swollen eyes
and bruises, they did fade
but the tears and tatters in my soul
are ones I have not made
So while the ghost of you walks through my halls
and as it lays down in my bed
I will strive to purge your demon spirit
from what life still lies ahead
For though you breathe and walk upon the earth,
this matters little if at all
for a truth-less man can have no soul
and the soulless man shall fall
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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vig
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #13 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:16pm » |
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I'm sorry.
:^(
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #14 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:19pm » |
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I can write music OK but I suck at lyrics.
It looks like I'm gonna have to talk to Gator and Redd.
You two have a wonderful talent with words.
I was brought to tears by both of your poems.
Pat
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Gator
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #15 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:29pm » |
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OMG, how powerful. Redd, have you tried sending this to organizations for battered women? You are a survivor. I think many women in similar situations could benefit from your experience. Maybe you could get a gig with a local organization, speaking with women and helping them cope without becoming totally embittered towards life and men in general.
I loved it.
Gator
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thomas
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Gator! Fuckeneh, dude. That was killer. Redd..... 
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Jimi
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #17 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:38pm » |
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WOW guys...........I could relate to the first one because I have lived it. I could relate to the 2nd post because I felt it. The talent on this board is unbelievable.
I have wondered where my talent lies.
Thanks you two for sharing your souls........
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Jayne
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #18 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:43pm » |
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Hey Jimi, calm yerself down .....your thinking you might have talent at something........silly, silly man.
Just sit down in the corner over there and keep your trap shut.....now there's a talent. 
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Jimi
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #19 on: May 19th, 2004, 3:52pm » |
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...Oh by the way. I put some pics up. You are in them. I will let you figure out where the addy is. It is close by. 
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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ZAIRA
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Pain and Creativity
« Reply #20 on: May 19th, 2004, 4:09pm » |
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Thank you for sharing your poems, Gator and Redd!
In my opinion the pain can be a good teacher and sometimes can bring out the best of our self. Honestly when I draw, it’s like a challenge , I against the beast. And it is the only arm I have to express my rage.. that I share with someone who understands me...
I would like to see the beast like this... but it's a mirage! 
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Love yourself, Love others, Love often, Forever!
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Melissa
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on May 19th, 2004, 3:38pm, Jimi wrote:| I have wondered where my talent lies. |
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Jimi, what is this talent that you speak of???
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Jayne
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #22 on: May 19th, 2004, 5:01pm » |
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on May 19th, 2004, 4:53pm, Melissa wrote:
Jimi, what is this talent that you speak of???
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That's what I was trying to figure out Melissa....he really has quite the ego thinking he has an ounce of talent in him. Must be all the years of head pain!!
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Tiannia
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Re: Pain and Creativity
« Reply #23 on: May 19th, 2004, 5:12pm » |
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Gator that was amazing...
Redd, you really should look into sharing that poem. Hell brought back some memories I would prefer to never remember....
Everyone has a talent. It takes a lot to share yourself espcially here when you feel a close connection with people.... Will have to post some items another time myself....
-Tia
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Jeepgun
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Swerve
Swerve through malaise colored
days that wash over me like movies shot
through mustard-toned filters
Too many sleeping pills bring
fragmented montage of scotch scoured dreams
of drowning drowning and drowning
Autumn afternoon shadows stretching
long lavender fingers through my window
to jab my gritty eyes while television blares
broken babble blasting bombs and bloodshed
Future yawns before me in a chasm as
wide and dark as the perfect "O" of the
shotgun's barrel and I long for sleep as
smooth and cool as the trigger beneath my toe
-Frank
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| « Last Edit: May 19th, 2004, 5:21pm by Jeepgun » |
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