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Topic: Triumphing Over The Beast (Read 183 times) |
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Jeepgun
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I wrote this in reply to Unsolved on the "Suicide" thread, but thought that it could perhaps help others in adopting a different perspective on cluster headaches.
Clusters are horrible, horrible things. I would never wish them on my worst enemy, but whether you are episodic or chronic, do not let this shit get you down. Don't you dare give in and let it rob you of your joy and love. Examine it carefully: Take what positives you can from this. Look for the things that can benefit you. Find ways to turn this to your advantage.
Here are few things that I have come up with:
1. "This too shall pass." I've learned how to be patient and detached, rather than clenching up and resisting and fighting. This carries over to other areas of my life. If I can withstand cluster headaches, I can withstand damn near anything!
2. Mental toughness: My pain threshold is higher, my ability to remain relaxed and calm in the middle of pain is increased, and my compassion has grown.
3. Wisdom: Pain brings its own wisdom and discipline. There are gifts to be found in this, even though it feels like sifting through a coal mine to find the tiniest diamond. Cluster headaches hurt like hell, but the won't kill you. What's interesting is that when they drive us to our knees, we are most likely to call out to the Higher Power. (Whether you believe in God, the Force, the Goddess, etc.) Reaching out for that Higher Power can only benefit a person.
4. Beauty. This seems like an odd thing to say, especially when your eyeball is exploding out of your head and you're sobbing with pain. I've learned that when I get one in the middle of the night, to just get up, get dressed, and go out on the front porch and sit with it until it passes. When it passes, it's a feeling like Samhaddi or Satori, or some other great and unspeakable peace... And during those times, when I'm inhaling the cool, quiet night air, I see the stars, the moonlight bathing the garden, fireflies twinkling morse-coded love messages to the glittering stars, the moon swimming in a sea of clouds, or drifting through the branches of the trees, and the world around me is silent, silvery with dew, and full of an unspeakable peace... And when the storm of pain has passed, I am filled also with gratitude, which in turn opens my heart wide with love.
Pain is a fact of life. Suffering, however, is optional.
All of this may sound like overly sentimental crap, but it does work and it does make the clusters more bearable, and all of this suffering just has to be worth SOMETHING!! The challenge then, is to find it. For the sake of your life and for the sake of your sanity, find it. And in doing so, you are triumphant over the beast.
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Linda_Howell
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Hearing is one thing. Listening is another.
  
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #1 on: May 4th, 2004, 12:38pm » |
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That... my friend, was beautiful.
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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JDH
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #2 on: May 4th, 2004, 12:46pm » |
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Nice 
Jim
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9-11-01, to remember is to honor.
It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
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Jimi
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #3 on: May 4th, 2004, 1:16pm » |
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Well said....My philosphy exactly.
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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echo
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #4 on: May 4th, 2004, 1:36pm » |
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Nicely said (written)
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Big Dan
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #5 on: May 4th, 2004, 1:45pm » |
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We need the 'FUCKENEH' stamp... ASAP...
... nice Star Wars reference, by the way... 
-Big Dan
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Luke63
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #6 on: May 4th, 2004, 2:01pm » |
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I agree 100%!!!!! We should all name Frank our PERSONAL PHILOSOPHER OF CH.COM....Whaddaya think people????
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I think we should all get together and do a movie..."Night of The Clusterheads". George Romero would have nothing on us!!!
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Big Dan
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #7 on: May 4th, 2004, 2:04pm » |
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Agreed...
... and Frank... if I ever get married.. I want you singing at the reception.
-Big Dan
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Lizzie2
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #8 on: May 4th, 2004, 2:04pm » |
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Jeep,
Thanks for posting that.  I liked it a lot. I'm going to repost something here that I posted awhile back. I just reread thru it, and I think it sums up the way I try to think about all of this chit.
Hugz,
Lizzie
What gifts have been given to you?
So here are my thoughts for today. In dealing with chronic illness, we often think about the negative effects this has on our lives. We think about the constant pain and how it has messed up our lives. We sometimes think about what our lives were like before we were in this pain. I know I've done this many times!
One time when I was inpatient for headaches, I attended a support group for all headache sufferers inpatient at that time. The nurse running the group asked us what positive things have come out of our illnesses. What have we learned or experienced that is good despite all of the suffering we have endured?
It made me think about the fact that in every cloud there is a silver lining. However, we often have to look hard for it and constantly remind ourselves that it is there in order to see it. I know that I have learned many things from my illness, and many of those things are positive.
I have learned to slow down. Food and sleep are important!! I've learned that it is better to put your heart into one thing that you love instead of spreading yourself thin over many things that you may not love. I've learned that I am not superwoman. I do need time to rest and rejuvenate, and I need to take time for myself!
I have learned to value the days (or even hours!) when I am in less pain. I do things during these times that I enjoy doing, such as taking walks, exercising a little, cleaning my apartment, singing songs, talking on the phone...anything that makes me happy!
I have made many new and wonderful friends from my experience. I value each of these friendships! I have learned so much from every person I have met, and I am very grateful for that.
I have been given direction and opportunity. Prior to having NDPH and CH, I never really knew what I wanted to do. I started out as a music education major, and then I switched over to piano performance while completing med school prerequisites. I stuck with that for awhile, but I was never really sure what direction I wanted to take. Then, after my 6th hospital stay, I started to realize that I really did not want to go to med school. All of the stress and things that come with it would probably not be very beneficial to me! But I knew that I loved health care and working with people who were working through their suffering as best they could.
When I decided on nursing, I finally felt like I had found what I truly wanted to do. I know the direction I want to take. My plan right now is to hopefully work with headache sufferers. If I had not had the experiences that I've had, I probably would not have found my path.
So I truly believe that some positive things have come out of my illness. Of course, I want it to go away, and I never stop believing that some day it WILL go away. But in the meantime, I plan to make the most of my situation.
So....what gifts or positive experiences have you been given through your illness?
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Jeepgun
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #9 on: May 4th, 2004, 2:25pm » |
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Lizzie, this is really profound...
"In whatsoever state I find myself, I am therefore resolved to be happy." -Apostle Paul
This is a guy who'd been shipwrecked, stoned, imprisoned, and wrote at length of a "thorn in the flesh."
Pretty awesome... From the ashes of pain, it IS within our grasp to be the phoenix!
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Lizzie2
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #10 on: May 4th, 2004, 2:39pm » |
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Thanks, Jeep!
Yours was really great too!! And let me add two quotes that I love!!
"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised."
And on the flip side...
"Having a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth your while."
Lizzie
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Jeepgun
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #11 on: May 4th, 2004, 3:43pm » |
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LOL!
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cathy
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Re: Triumphing Over The Beast
« Reply #12 on: May 4th, 2004, 3:59pm » |
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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