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Topic: Suicide (Read 869 times) |
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UN_SOLVED
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I need a fully-automatic Imitrex injector !!
 
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I thought this topic would grab some attention !
Being CHRONIC, like alot of us here are, I was just wondering:
IS THERE REALLY ANYONE ELSE LIKE ME ?
I've been chronic for the last 4 years with NO BREAKS. Multiple attacks everyday / night. NO PREVENTATIVES WORK (except bout 400 mg Prednisone everyday. How long can I do that ? )
I know that alot of you 'chronics' have preventatives like Lithium, Topo, or even O2 that is giving you great relief. I don't get this luxury. (Yes, that's right, luxury. If you have a preventative working for you ... it's a benefit i'm not getting)
I get an attack ... I shoot Imitrex. LOTS OF IT !! I don't believe there is ANYONE ... ANYWHERE ... that has done more Imitrex than I have.
I'm just getting tired. I need a break.
Unsolved (ranting)
PS ... WHEN TO SAY "WHEN" ???
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Big Dan
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #1 on: May 2nd, 2004, 4:39am » |
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Don't you even start talking shit like that, God damnit..
... I may not be chronic.. but I know it sucks... trust me man... it 'aint worth it...
Check you PM's... if you need me, I'll be here for ya...
-Big Hug
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Not going anywhere for a while?...
... Grab a Snickers, Fatass.
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Turts
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Ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #2 on: May 2nd, 2004, 4:54am » |
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Quote:| PS ... WHEN TO SAY "WHEN" ??? |
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Many of us, if not most would ask this question on a regular basis.
Think back, when was the first time you asked yourself this question, and what GOOD stuff have you done, seen since then!!
Having CH doesnt make us "special" from everyone else, surviving the pain does!!!
I have been asking myself the same question for a longtime now, and this is the only answer I can find..
I hope it helps you Un_Solved.
Turts
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'I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only today I happen to have a headache.' (Lewis Carroll)
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Carl_D
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I feel your pain - more than you know.
Since turning chronic 5 years ago, I am the same way, except NO preventatives, including Prednisone work for me. It wasn't until fall of last year I found that Imitrex now works for me (before it didn't), but before that it was pure unbridled attacks. I'd just have to ride them out, anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half each, several times a day/night. I felt like living was futile and my plight hopeless, so in January of 2000, I attempted suicide bigtime - and still wonder to this day how I pulled out of the coma and made it. Looking back now, I realize it was a stupid, selfish, desperate move.
FIGHT THE PAIN! FUCK THE BEAST!
NEVER SAY DIE!!!
Hang in there man, you're not alone.
Peace,
Carl D
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john123
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By the power of all my vibes, I wish for you a break.
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Little Deb
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #5 on: May 2nd, 2004, 9:31am » |
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read your PMs,
NEVER is when is enough.
We are CLUSTERHEADS! And we are STRONG!
And when we are weak....we have our FAMILY!
Stay strong my brother.
Vibes comin' your way....Little Deb
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Adopt a shelter pet!
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Woobie
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #6 on: May 2nd, 2004, 10:03am » |
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I never know what to say that's gonna make a difference. ....
all I know is that I'm sorry......... I dont know how you feel, I just wish I could do something.
Please check your PMs.
tina
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| « Last Edit: May 2nd, 2004, 10:13am by Woobie » |
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stevegeebe
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #7 on: May 2nd, 2004, 10:08am » |
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"To the sick, while there is life there is hope." - Cicero
It's not all there is. Look around. Don't miss the day when you get the rest of your life back.
Praying for you.
Steve G
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miapet
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what doesn't kill me makes me stronger
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #8 on: May 2nd, 2004, 10:14am » |
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My heart is breaking for you . . .and I know that's not enough.
Stay strong . . .you're a beautiful person . . .don't let the beast win.
*positive light and energy*
miapet and D
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| « Last Edit: May 2nd, 2004, 10:15am by miapet » |
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Clusterbusters Rock
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HypnoticFreddy
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I have had the pleasure of PM'ing Unsolved.
He certainly has had his share of CHs and a LOT MORE shit in his life that sucks!
Hang in there man!
-Scott
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no-one
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #10 on: May 2nd, 2004, 10:38am » |
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UN-SOLVED,
You are not alone in how you feel, but suicide is not an option. I've been chronic for 5 years and so far nothing works, I can't even use imitrex., O2 will bring down the pain, but doesn't take it away for me. I use DHE inj that also will take the pain down but does not get rid of it, and with dhe you can only use it 2 days a week( I still haven't figured out what to do with the other 5 days). I haven't slept more that 4 hours in a night in I can't remember how long, at this point I would take 4 straight hours of sleep, and be a very happy camper. But I am not ready to give up yet there are too many things I want to do and I am sure you also have things that you want to see and do with your life.
SUICIDE IS NOT A OPTION, ITS THE CHICHENS WAY OUT.
WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU, PLEASE COME AND CRY ON OUR SHOULDERS ANYTIME YOU NEED TO. WE WILL TRY TO HELP THE ONLY WAY WE KNOW HOW AND THAT IS TO BE THERE FOR YOU. WE ARE A FAMILY AND WE NEED YOU.
Lots of hugs being sent your way
Becky
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"Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter....don't mind....And those that mind....don't matter."
Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov
Unless you believe, you will not understand.
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Patrick_A
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #11 on: May 2nd, 2004, 10:40am » |
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Reaching out for hope.
I guess everyone that has suffered from this excruciating pain has been there at one time or another.
I am not chronic, so therefore i cannot exactly know how you feel.
I will probably get flamed for this, but it is ok.
We put our animals to sleep because we don't want them to suffer needlessly. That is called being compassionate.
Hospice administered dialaudid in such a heavy amount to my cancer ridden Mother until it stopped her heart. This is called Euthanasia. Official cause of death--Cancer!
I suppose suicice can be a very selfish act at times. But in my opinion, Sometimes it is better than a lifetime of pain. How can i be a happy person if my whole life i am only dealing with the anxiety of my next attack, not to even mention the unbearable pain i am force to deal with on an everyday basis, 2 to 5 times daily. What am i accomplishing in life? An existence?
Suicide for the Heartbroken is a selfish act.
Suicide due to your finacial ruin is a selfish act.
Suicide due to depression, its a toss up!
Suicide due to unbearable pain.....How is that a selfish act?
If i was dealing with the unbearable pain that some people here deal with everyday. And i decided i couldnt deal with it anymore. I would gather my family around, and i would announce my intentions. I would tell them all that i loved them very much, but i cannot deal with this anymore. How is that a selfish act?
I figure out of 100 people who may have an opinion on this. 50 will quote me the scriptures about going to Hell.
30 will be adamently against it. 15 will just be sad, and the other 5 will agree with me.
I don't condone suicide, But, I do beleive in compassion, and i DON'T beleive it is always a selfish act.
OK, Flame away!
Patrick
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Karla
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #12 on: May 2nd, 2004, 10:54am » |
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After 4 years of being chronic getting hit 8x a day every day I understand completly where you are comming from because nothing worked to prevent for me. O2 quit working and I got the run around on using so much trex. I felt suicidal all the time for the first couple of years. Then I talked to my dr about it and got put on a great antidepressent. It did help alot. I urge you to be honest with your dr and let him know exactly how your quality of life is being effected and how you feel. It was also at this time my dr started considering pain management. My HMO sent me to another HMO to go to a HA /pain clinic. They confirmed I had tried everything out there and then resorted to pain management. They put me on methadone for a year 10mg am and 10 mg pm. A very low dose. It kept me pain free for a year. No high feeling. Just great because I had no pain. I thought the methadone was making me sleep so much so I swithched to the duragesic patch 50mcg. It also worked wonders for me and kept me pain free for the last year. I had no high from that also. It has given me a quality of life and a pain free life that I never thought would be possible. Please talk to your dr about these options before you do anything serious. There are other options out there. I will be praying for you. Pm me if you need me.
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Karla
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Prense
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #13 on: May 2nd, 2004, 11:06am » |
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Chronic for the last 11 years now (and counting). I have had no preventative that works yet. I thought the lithium/verap combo was gonna nip this shit, but no luck yet. I am hoping like hell that an increase in the lith dosage will get things under control.
Hang in there man!
Trust me, you are not going through this crap alone.
Chris
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Sean_C
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C'mon dude pick your ass up.
There is no solution to anything like that. I was chronic for ten years when they didn't even know what it was. I suffered like all the other old sufferers here. Some had ther teeth pulled ( I was almost one of them ) others got put in psych wards, it was nasty.
As for trex I too have taken alot without regard for my health. At the peak I think one day I took 10. I got shut off from the doc when I called him the next day to ask for another script. My BP was sky high.
Hang in there dude, they won't kill you even though it feels that way.
E-mail me if you need to talk
PFDAN to you
Sean
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jonny
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Before I found something that worked i went 14 years with just aspirin, hell, I was not even diagnosed.
Did I think about ending it back then, Yup....Did I, nope.
Imagine how much aspirin a chronic can consume 
Hang the fuck in there dude.
..............................................jonny
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Sean_C
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Me too jonny, Execedrin extra extra extra strenght, nasal spray, and toothe paste. I used to think if I brushed my teeth the poison in my gums would go away and would make the headache stop LOL. NOT
Then I thought it was a tumor, or the drugs, or I was just going mental and slowing going to die, or it was my subconscience getting me back for being a rotten kid LOL.
Mom used to tell me it was the devil etc.etc.etc. and if I stop being a fucking bastard they'll go away LOL.
I can remember mom screaming at me telling me telling me I was freaking sick, it was my own fault. "We've spent thousands of dollars on you and there's nothing wrong with you. " Your a bastard you here me" "Now get the fuck outa here" How bout some of that with a beamin kip 10 hmmmmmmmmm those were the days LOL. No wonder I drank at 13 and hung in the woods all night LOL. God I miss those days LOL
For the record I love my mom.........I really was a bad kid LOL, god I hope my kids arn't anything like I was LMAO
Keep the faith guys.....somebody loves you.
Sean
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sean_horton
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anybody got a big syringe to suck this devil out
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #17 on: May 2nd, 2004, 1:19pm » |
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I've been with the devil for 19+ years, it goes chronic 90% of the time for 1 to 5 months.I've had 1-2 year break (talk about blessing) and I've been chronic for 2 years straight at one time. I average 8 to 9 attacks a day. Never never could you or anybody take your own life because of this speed bump it will it has to get better for you and us. On my time away from the devil I live to the fullest. You must to. I've banged my head till it blead [color=Red][/color][b][/b]YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
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jonny
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on May 2nd, 2004, 1:19pm, sean_horton wrote:| I've been with the devil for 19+ years, it goes chronic 90% of the time for 1 to 5 months. |
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Dude, chronic is one year without 14 straight days pain free.....no such thing as chronic for five months.
.........................................jonny
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Sean_C
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Jonnys right bro, 15 straight days your on a different ship. I guess thats where they drew the line for some reason. Nevertheless both suck. But there is hope, I went episodic and I hope you guys do too. I wish I could tell you why but I have know idea. If I did I'd share it with you believe me.
Stay cool
Sean
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Roxy
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #20 on: May 2nd, 2004, 2:49pm » |
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I've been chronic for two and a half years. On a good day between 3-5 hits. On a bad day, anywhere from 8-12 hits. Yeah, it sucks. Haven't found a preventative that works yet, and I'm limited on my triptan use......I used so much trex that my heart finally said STOP. Every couple of months, I'll get a really good day with only one hit.
Yeah, it sucks. But is it worth suicide? FUCK NO. The pain is excrutiatingly bad.....but it ain't gonna kill me. And it will eventually pass. I like the rest of my life way too much to ever fall over into the "I can't live like this" mode.
02 never worked for me till I dosed. The dosing doesn't do much for my ch's, but it does make the 02 kick ass, most of the time.
If you're at the end of your rope, maybe it's time to explore alternate preventatives.
http://clusterbusters.com/
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Einstein)
I used to have a handle on life....but it broke.
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BarbaraD
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #21 on: May 2nd, 2004, 2:49pm » |
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Been there = thought about it - even worked out a plan, but never could get things in order (headaches kept interferring with my plans). Had surgery - didn't work -- then at my wits in (and yes, I was serious) I found topamax and got some relief.
Now after a few years of only breakthrus, I'm back to square one - the topamax quit working, so I'm back on my "quest" to find a preventative that will stop the pain - AGAIN!!!
I know it's a pain in the rear and works on your mind to be chronic and NEVER getting relief. You get tired of trying, but read posts from Carl D. and Jonny (and me). There is ALWAYS some hope....
Hang in there, keep trying to find a med that works - it's there - just trail and error (some are by accident).
Don't know what else to say, except I DO know what you're feeling -- I've been there too many times.
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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cootie
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #22 on: May 2nd, 2004, 2:52pm » |
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This is always a 'heavy topic' ! Maybe you should 'think' about retryin somea the old mix's......maybe rearrange how when and how much workin with yer doc on the project. Dam......sounds like a foot in hell to me.........but keep that other foot out Pam 
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The mad viking
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #23 on: May 2nd, 2004, 3:43pm » |
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Hi there amigo
Have you tried this combination ?
Verapamil Retard 120mgX5-7/daily during cycle
Oxygene alone at 10ltm for at least 15 minutes on a nonbreathermask or combined with imitrex-shots does miracles.The shots should start working in 6-9minutes.a few seconds after that you are almost painfree
Prednisolone in high doze for 10 days 80mg
then over a 3 weeks periode step down like 60-40-30-20-10-5mg every 3dh day
Tapering down the verap im on full dozage 7 days after my last hit,then over the next 5 weeks im down to 1/daily.
after 1 week on Verap retard 120mgX1 and still no hits i can quit that to
The very best from Svenn
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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UN_SOLVED
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I need a fully-automatic Imitrex injector !!
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Re: Suicide
« Reply #24 on: May 2nd, 2004, 4:48pm » |
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on May 2nd, 2004, 3:43pm, Svenn wrote:Hi there amigo
Have you tried this combination ?
Verapamil Retard 120mgX5-7/daily during cycle > THIS WILL KILL ME
Oxygene alone at 10ltm for at least 15 minutes on a nonbreathermask > HAS NO EFFECT
or combined with imitrex-shots does miracles.The shots should start working in 6-9minutes.a few seconds after that you are almost painfree
Prednisolone in high doze for 10 days 80mg
then over a 3 weeks periode step down like 60-40-30-20-10-5mg every 3dh day > THIS DOSE IS WORTHLESS ON ME
Tapering down the verap im on full dozage 7 days after my last hit,then over the next 5 weeks im down to 1/daily.
after 1 week on Verap retard 120mgX1 and still no hits i can quit that to
The very best from Svenn
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THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY...BUT YOU MUST NOT HAVE READ THE ORIGINAL POST.
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I'm STILL alive ?
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