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Topic: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH) (Read 637 times) |
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Tiannia
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Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH)
« on: Apr 27th, 2004, 5:41pm » |
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(Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!)
Dear Mr. Baker,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get
cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
Cecelia
*********************************************
http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
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jonny
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #1 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 6:07pm » |
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NICE!!!! 
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #2 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 6:11pm » |
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Wow!! I like that lady.....
Hugs BD
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Jimi
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #3 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 6:18pm » |
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That was Hilarious!!!
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Karla
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #4 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 6:22pm » |
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How true it is...
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Karla
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BeermanIA
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #5 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 6:52pm » |
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Hey, I think I resemble that remark!?!
-Ernie (Network Designer)
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purpleydog
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #6 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 7:03pm » |
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[quote author=Tiannia link=board=general;num=1083086589;start=0#0 date=04/27/04 at 17:41:09]
I have a few basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.
Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
This is so true!!!  Excellent letter, I believe I'll save this one 
purpleydog
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magman
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #7 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 7:34pm » |
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Picture….Barney Fife(spl) from the Andy Griffith show. Add typical navy blue suit, white shirt, burgundy tie and black-rimmed glasses. Stuff the personality into a neat little package, that parrots executive row and subordinates as if all ideas are his. A spit and polish, “yes man” if ever there was one……he never could master the on/off switch on a server.
Now picture delivering the denunciation in Tia’s post…….in person. 
Never saw my old office again, but o so sweet, were those trips to the bank…..depositing consulting fees, authorized by the new CIO for the next 3 years. 
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Kirk
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #8 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 7:34pm » |
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Users.
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bobkip
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #9 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 8:51pm » |
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Good one. Micro-managing pushed me out the door in '99. I had set 7/11/99 as my retirement daate but in the spring of '99 my company offered a package deal that got me out on 6/30/99 To say I jumped on it would be an understatement. Man. do I miss it..... NOT!!!
Kip
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BeermanIA
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #10 on: Apr 28th, 2004, 8:36am » |
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This brought to mind a recent email that I received at work. It seems that a disgruntled employee decided to share his resignation letter with the ENTIRE COMPNY! It was quickly recalled, but not before I managed to save it for future entertainment. I have altered the company and employee names to protect the alledgedly innocent...
15th March 2004
From: Rehan A**f
To: William R**t
Dear Will,
It is with great joy that I am informing you of my resignation forthwith.
I would like to inform you that I have never had such an original experience 'working' with such a backward group of people such as yourself & others in the management team of our department.
My main points are:
-Your total lack of people managerial ability. Which part of 'manager' don't you understand? It must be the 'manage' part, as you are good at the 'er' part of the word. You stated that it was my responsibility to progress my role. In which case, why do I need you as my manager? What are you doing for my career development? Nothing - is the answer I can come up with.
-The fact that you have distorted things said when summarising meetings we have had together with Lois Buxton. You have made additions to notes, which were never mentioned to me in our meetings. This summarises your management style perfectly to me.
-You do not follow our company's procedures e.g. offering me 'notice in lieu' to leave the company, even though it does not exist in the Acme Policy and Procedures Guidelines. Don't the company rules apply to you? Or are they only for me to follow?
- You ask for people's ideas & innovations but are not prepared to advance or remunerate them for this. It leads me to believe you are just using people due to your own lack of intelligence and foresight.
- Your approach to resolving problems I encounter in our work/systems/products is novel, but ultimately foolish. By circumventing a logical approach to attack the root cause of a problem, you suggest I make changes that will create more problems in the long-term. This is not fixing the problem anymore than applying a plaster/band-aid to a gunshot wound will stop it bleeding.
- The 'Micro*** Mafia' headed by Andy P**t, which is self-serving and stupid in the extreme. Even Baldrick's 'cunning plans' in Blackadder had more sense and were better able to plan than our departments' future. Unless you play golf with Andy, or, were part of the old 'Micro***' team, or, are prepared to do a serious amount of ass-kissing, advancement in this department is severely restricted. Which leads to people seeing a 'them and us' culture existing in the department.
Yours Sincerely,
Rehan A**f.
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Peppermint
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #11 on: Apr 28th, 2004, 10:02am » |
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Boy.. with the way things are going today, you guys are sure giving me some good ideas for the Exit interview looming in my future.
I swear some of this stuff fits perfectly. I'll add a few choice words of my own of course. Pointing out that picking your wedgies while talking to your staff in a closed office is at worse mildly unprofessional, is one for starters....
Pep 
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ShariRae
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #12 on: Apr 28th, 2004, 9:40pm » |
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LOL.. I sent it to my sys admin...he LOVED it!!
Shari
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Gator
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #13 on: Apr 29th, 2004, 7:18pm » |
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on Apr 27th, 2004, 7:34pm, Kirk wrote:Users.
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Pretty much sums it up.
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #14 on: Apr 30th, 2004, 10:55am » |
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This is great!!!
LMAO!!!!!!
I am a sys admin and I am planning on keeping a copy of this so I can change a couple of names and re-use it in the future.
BTW...While I was writing this, my boss was sitting 3 feet from me talking to me. Very observant of her.
Don't even get me started with the personnel department here. They make my boss look like Einstein.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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ExplodingEyeBall
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I can't think of anything clever to put here.
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #15 on: Apr 30th, 2004, 10:57am » |
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Man...
I guess I'm the idiot.
I hope nobody I work with sees this post.
I guess it wouldn't be the 1st time I got in trouble for telling it like it is.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Opus
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #16 on: Apr 30th, 2004, 10:24pm » |
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on Apr 30th, 2004, 10:57am, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:Man...
I guess I'm the idiot.
I hope nobody I work with sees this post.
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Quick,
user@CH.com$ rm -rf /clusterheadaches/general posts/num=1083086589/quote=15
You have the power to modify or remove your posts. Use with care,
Opus/Paul
user@CH.com$ shutdown -h now
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toader
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #17 on: May 1st, 2004, 1:29pm » |
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There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Root
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rm -r *.*
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #18 on: May 1st, 2004, 2:53pm » |
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Can you count to 10 in binary on your fingers Toader?
I send you a 4.
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Karla
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Re: Why you never mess with your system admin (NCH
« Reply #19 on: May 1st, 2004, 4:42pm » |
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Good one toader. good one..lol
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Karla
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