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Topic: Bush or Kerry (Read 3383 times) |
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Killroy 2.0
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Bush or Kerry
« on: Apr 14th, 2004, 10:17am » |
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There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans.
Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy--Johnny.
The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan."
The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?"
Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry fan, and my Dad's a Kerry fan, so I'm a Kerry fan!"
The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're Mom was a moron, and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"
Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan."
P.S. Before anyone flames me IT IS A JOKE!
If you are a Bush fan just switch the names around!!!
I am sure it is just as funny 
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echo
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #1 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 10:50am » |
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Very nice.
Great flame extinguisher at the end. Hope it works. 
BTW - I'll switch it around.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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thomas
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Bush or Kerry?.......... Which ever one is going to charge me the least amount of $ to bend me over and screw me, 'cause that's what they all do.
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vig
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #3 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 10:53am » |
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I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said:
"Anybody else for President."
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| « Last Edit: Apr 14th, 2004, 10:53am by vig » |
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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echo
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #4 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 10:53am » |
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on Apr 14th, 2004, 10:51am, thomas wrote:| Bush or Kerry?.......... Which ever one is going to charge me the least amount of $ to bend me over and screw me, 'cause that's what they all do. |
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LMAO
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #5 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 10:57am » |
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on Apr 14th, 2004, 10:53am, vig wrote:I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said:
"Anybody else for President."
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I agree - I say lets vote for Jonny  - we will just write him in.
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thomas
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on Apr 14th, 2004, 10:57am, Gena wrote:
I agree - I say lets vote for Jonny - we will just write him in. |
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He has enough headaches. I wouldn't wish the job of trying to direct this cesspool on a friend.
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Gator
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #7 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 11:16am » |
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on Apr 14th, 2004, 10:17am, Gena wrote:
P.S. Before anyone flames me IT IS A JOKE!
If you are a Bush fan just switch the names around!!!
I am sure it is just as funny
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Nice Save!
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fubar
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #8 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 11:36am » |
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I almost want to elect Kerry just to see what he does with that hair (hair? can we *prove* it's really hair?)
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"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
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HypnoticFreddy
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I liked the joke that was in the Jokes Threads.
So John Kerry walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey man, why the long face?"
-Scott
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Melissa
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hehehehe...."long face"
"Lurch"
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Kirk
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #11 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 12:09pm » |
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The longer I observe politicians the more I want to see "none of the above" on the ballot.
TTFN
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Luke63
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #12 on: Apr 14th, 2004, 1:02pm » |
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I say..put a woman in office...at least you wont have to see all these smear campaigns containing atrocious hair!!! 
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I think we should all get together and do a movie..."Night of The Clusterheads". George Romero would have nothing on us!!!
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Gator
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #13 on: Apr 15th, 2004, 12:37am » |
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on Apr 14th, 2004, 11:36am, fubar wrote:
I almost want to elect Kerry just to see what he does with that hair (hair? can we *prove* it's really hair?) |
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How can you believe anyone whose facial expression never changes. Time to lay off the Botox, Dude!!!
On the other hand, I'd hate to play poker with him.
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Root
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #14 on: Apr 15th, 2004, 12:55am » |
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What worries me is that some people actually believe in these guys political BS.
Aron Burr may have been right. 
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In the land of the dark the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead. -- Egyptian Book of the Dead
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HypnoticFreddy
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Jessica Simpson. Definitely Jessica Simpson. She seems to exhibit some sort of intellectualism I have not seen in a human in some time. And Ozzy Osbourne would be a good running mate. Nobody can understand the man, so he may be good in dealing with foreign policy. Uh.,,,,er,,,,,,,,,Sharon!
-Scott
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Mr. Happy
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A Full Bush
« Reply #16 on: Apr 15th, 2004, 1:29am » |
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Kerry me back to the days when I got all the Bush I wanted.
In the early 90's, Bush was president, and we were at war with Iraq. In the early 2000's, Bush was president and we were at war with Iraq. WTF.
Say what you will, I liked the "Bill" years. Things were OK. Cheap sex was the order of the day.
Monica THIS,
RJ
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Charlie
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #17 on: Apr 15th, 2004, 5:47pm » |
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I say vote for a flower pot.
All I want is the same amount of thought as is put into the medical profession: "Do no harm." How novel that would be. I'm not rich enough to vote for Bush.
Dubya is a great 19th century president.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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jonny
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Vote jonny!
It seems what we need is someone that will tell you what is on their mind and pull no punches doing it!
My platform:::: Everyone Dies that fucks with us, National gaurd walks all our borders, Your not here legally....We drop you off Four countries away from us, I tell the 911 comition that they are just has been hacks looking for a paycheck and YOU FIRED!!!!!
Fallugha (SP).......Give every Marine a map of a sector and kick every door in and kill anyone with a gun in their hands.......Nuff said!
ROCK-N-ROLL!!!!
......................................jonny
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BobG
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #19 on: Apr 15th, 2004, 8:02pm » |
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Since this string started in Texas, might as well say this:
WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS
=========================================
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own
hands. BTW - Texas is the ONLY state that can suceed from the Union.
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States (all 49 states).
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD,
Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers, specifically Brooke Army Med Center in San Antonio and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Texas State University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more.)
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles, five shotguns ten handguns minimum and and a bigass pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. Kids here can nail a whitetail deer at 100 years by 9 years old: boys and GIRLS. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers. Their motto "One Rioter: One Ranger."
Don't need any food. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so
that they taste good.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of
the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
Signed,
Texas BobG (from Vegas and doesn't believe a damned thing in the above message) 
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bobkip
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #20 on: Apr 15th, 2004, 9:42pm » |
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Ah yes... Bush. Under Bish I've seen us go from a surplus and balanced budget to a whopping deficit and my IRA drop 10 % instead of growing. YEAH! Not to mention war and our guys getting killed.
Kip
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Sean_C
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I only have one thing to say........................
http://www.johnkerrysucks.com/homuke.html
Sorry guys but as all of you probably know I'm a Mass-hole and believe me Ketchup boy hasn't done shit for us here, and never will. This jerk went to see if the ground hog saw his shadow and couldn't even make an appearence at the St. Patricks Day Parade in South Boston...................hmmmmmmmmmmmm shows where the Irish stand.
I won't even go to what I think of him throwing his purple heart at the White House, then claiming they were somebodyelses as he prouddly displays his over his desk on Beacon Hill now..............can you say jerk. Our boys paid the price and this is what he does? I guess that should be another thread.
I'm with Hap..........nothing like the taste of a Cuban in the Oval Office.
No wars, economy was awesome, and my Credits Cards were still good. Damn I miss that man.
I don't know about the rest of you but I'm still not sure what the next four years is going to give us. Where are we heading? What can change it? How are my kids going to be able to buy a house in 15 years? How much is my health insurance going to cost? Will there be Social Security for me in 25 years? If not why am I still paying for it in my check? Are my children going to see a man in a wedding dress with a beard walking down the steps of Town Hall? If so what should I tell them? "They make a pretty Couple"?
I thought it was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.
I don't know what to think anymore I'm confused.
Lotsa love
Sean
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HypnoticFreddy
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I think it's scary cuz we are (at least I) am voting not for who I want to be President, rather who I DON'T want to be President.
-Scott
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Charlie
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #23 on: Apr 16th, 2004, 12:50am » |
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Yes...........but Texas will have Bush. No sacrifice for us at all to get rid of the lying rectal aperture who lost the election. Gee, it was decided in his brother's state...unfunding every program he promised to implement or keep. Who won't knock off 1% of his tax cuts for his golf buddies to actually pay the military enough to keep their families off food stamps. Fake-based initiatives, making sure HMOs and drug companies get the only real "benefits" from the medicare bill, refusing to fund his bullshit "no child left behind" lie, trying to kill the importation of entirely safe drugs from Canada, trying to kill medical research that isn't approved by the Pat Roberstons of the world, starve all New Deal programs that have worked for 70 years to make us the envy of much of the world, refusing to come up with the help promised 9/11 victims, actually cutting funds for veterans hospitals and care. What a patriot... and appointing that stack of shit, John Ashcroft to anything. That alone is reason enough to can the bastard. The list goes on and on and on.
He’s all yours.
Charlie
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Bush or Kerry
« Reply #24 on: Apr 16th, 2004, 1:16am » |
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Chaz........
Quit holding it in. Tell us what you Really think, or you're gonna bust open. Granted.........."W" is a PITA.......
I still wouldn't mind a little _Bush_
RJ
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