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Topic: Carlin mentions clusters (Read 312 times) |
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Superpain
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Carlin mentions clusters
« on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 2:58pm » |
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Things to Watch Out For
Carlin's small reminder of some of the negative, depressing, dangerous, life-threatening things that life is really all about.
anal rape
quicksand
body lice
evil spirits
gridlock
acid rain
continental drift
labor violence
flash floods
rabies
torture
bad luck
calcium deficiency
falling rocks
cattle stampedes
bank failure
evil neighbors
killer bees
organ rejection
lynching
toxic waste
unstable dynamite
religious fanatics
prickly heat
price fixing
moral decay
hotel fires
loss of face
stink bombs
bubonic plague
neo-Nazis
friction
cereal weevils
failure of will
chain reactions
soil erosion
mail fraud
dry rot
voodoo curses
broken glass
snake bites
parasites
white slavery
public ridicule
faithless friends
random violence
breach of contract
family scandals
charlatans
transverse militias
structural defects
race riots
sun spots
rogue elephants
wax buildup
killer frost
jealous coworkers
root canals
mental fatigue
corporal punishment
sneak attacks
peer pressure
vigilantes
birth defects
false advertising
ungrateful children
financial ruin
mildew
loss of priveleges
bad drugs
ill-fitting shoes
widespread chaos
stray bullets
runaway trains
chemical spills
locusts
airline food
shipwrecks
prowlers
bathtub accidents
faulty merchandise
terrorism
discrimination
wrongful cremation
carbon deposits
beef tapeworms
taxation without representation
escaped maniacs
sunburn
abandonment
threatening letters
entropy
nine-mile fever
poor workmanship
absentee landlord
solitary confinement
depletion of the ozone layer
unworthiness
intestinal bleeding
defrocked priests
loss of equilibrium
disgruntled employees
global warming
card sharks
poisoned meat
nuclear accidents
broken promises
contamination of the water supply
obscene phone calls
nuclear winter
wayward girls
mutual assured destruction
rampaging moose
the greenhouse effect
cluster headaches
social isolation
Dutch elm disease
contraction of the universe
paper cuts
eternal damnation
the wrath of God
PARANOIA!
Good for a laugh.
http://www.totalobscurity.com/smile/carlin/carlin.html
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Chris
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Jayne
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #1 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:19pm » |
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Makes me wonder..does he 'ave em, or know someone that does.??? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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If you haven't laughed today, it's been a wasted day. 
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Superpain
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #2 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:19pm » |
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Good question... he must know something of them.
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Chris
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Jayne
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #3 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:21pm » |
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well he doesn't mention Migraines in that lot.
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If you haven't laughed today, it's been a wasted day.
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forgetfulnot
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #4 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:29pm » |
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I was lucky enough to see old George live about ten years ago, he did that as part of his act. I always wondered how the hell he would even know about them if he didn't get um, on the other hand old George is very well read and maybe that's where he came up with it.
Lee
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| « Last Edit: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:30pm by forgetful » |
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Kevin_M
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #5 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:43pm » |
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Contraction of the universe got to me the most. 
Those poor people 15 billion years from now.
It's not actually contracting though. Unless, oh wait, we're losing an hour Saturday night setting the clocks forward, but then again it was a leap year. Ok, I'm lost now.
We're right up there with contracting of the universe!!!
Kevin M
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| « Last Edit: Apr 2nd, 2004, 7:35pm by Kevin_M » |
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echo
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #6 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 3:59pm » |
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Carlin has always been my favorite. I never pass the opportunity to see him live when he's in town.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Charlie
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #7 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 4:05pm » |
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Sad.......in a strange way.......but it sounds like a Carlinism to me. Something like cluster bone spurs or something made worse or silly if experienced in groups......Yikes....Why us folks?
I bet he hears from us?
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Luke63
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Re: Carlin mentions clusters
« Reply #8 on: Apr 2nd, 2004, 5:41pm » |
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Yeah ...kinda like Charlie said...but...but.....maybe not! Carlin probably meant to say Clusterfuck instead.... Luke
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I think we should all get together and do a movie..."Night of The Clusterheads". George Romero would have nothing on us!!!
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