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Topic: What gifts have you been given? (Read 525 times) |
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Lizzie2
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What gifts have you been given?
« on: Mar 21st, 2004, 12:01pm » |
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What gifts have been given to you?
So here are my thoughts for today. In dealing with chronic illness, we often think about the negative effects this has on our lives. We think about the constant pain and how it has messed up our lives. We sometimes think about what our lives were like before we were in this pain. I know I've done this many times!
One time when I was inpatient for headaches, I attended a support group for all headache sufferers inpatient at that time. The nurse running the group asked us what positive things have come out of our illnesses. What have we learned or experienced that is good despite all of the suffering we have endured?
It made me think about the fact that in every cloud there is a silver lining. However, we often have to look hard for it and constantly remind ourselves that it is there in order to see it. I know that I have learned many things from my illness, and many of those things are positive.
I have learned to slow down. Food and sleep are important!! I've learned that it is better to put your heart into one thing that you love instead of spreading yourself thin over many things that you may not love. I've learned that I am not superwoman. I do need time to rest and rejuvenate, and I need to take time for myself!
I have learned to value the days (or even hours!) when I am in less pain. I do things during these times that I enjoy doing, such as taking walks, exercising a little, cleaning my apartment, singing songs, talking on the phone...anything that makes me happy!
I have made many new and wonderful friends from my experience. I value each of these friendships! I have learned so much from every person I have met, and I am very grateful for that.
I have been given direction and opportunity. Prior to having NDPH and CH, I never really knew what I wanted to do. I started out as a music education major, and then I switched over to piano performance while completing med school prerequisites. I stuck with that for awhile, but I was never really sure what direction I wanted to take. Then, after my 6th hospital stay, I started to realize that I really did not want to go to med school. All of the stress and things that come with it would probably not be very beneficial to me! But I knew that I loved health care and working with people who were working through their suffering as best they could.
When I decided on nursing, I finally felt like I had found what I truly wanted to do. I know the direction I want to take. My plan right now is to hopefully work with headache sufferers. If I had not had the experiences that I've had, I probably would not have found my path.
So I truly believe that some positive things have come out of my illness. Of course, I want it to go away, and I never stop believing that some day it WILL go away. But in the meantime, I plan to make the most of my situation.
So....what gifts or positive experiences have you been given through your illness?
Hugz,
Lizzie 
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FZfan
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #1 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 12:36pm » |
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Beautiful post Liz.
I can think of several things, but probably the most important is a much better understanding and respect for my father. He suffered with these things during a time when nothing was known about them, and, although as a family we supported him and tried to understand what he was going through, it is true that no one truly understands unless they have it.
I knew these things were killing him when he had them. I can remember many trips to the er when I was a teen. I remember helping to carry him back into the house when returning from these trips. I remember wondering how bad these things must hurt.
Now I know how bad these things hurt. Worse than I ever imagined. I don't know how my father did it all those years.
It's fun to talk about it with him now. His ended many years ago, but he is fascinated with the treatments I go through. He is amazed at the o2 treatment. He can't believe the simple act of breathing pure o2 can actually knock one down.
Our relationship is better than ever, because of the beast. Sad, but true.
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jonny
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #2 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 12:41pm » |
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on Mar 21st, 2004, 12:01pm, Lizzie2 wrote:| So....what gifts or positive experiences have you been given through your illness? |
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Well, Telling a dude at the Atlanta convention that he had two options...stop bothering this woman and leave through the glass doors or I would throw him through them.........He left (Smart dude) 
Positive in my book
.....................jonny
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Linda_Howell
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #3 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 1:36pm » |
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"what gifts have you been given?"
A whole NEW dysfunctional family. 
Linda
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kim
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #4 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 1:43pm » |
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We all get invaluable gifts. We just don't always look under the wrapping....
And I gotta agree with the above post.
Puttin the fun in disfuntional
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Kevin_M
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #5 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 6:24pm » |
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Gotta agree, good one Linda. 
Positive things?
You might be my head doc someday Lizzie!!!
Hang a shingle out this way.
Kevin M
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pubgirl
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #6 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 6:48pm » |
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To answer the question literally. Today was Mother's day here, and I got a handmade card, with a beautifully painted dragonfly on the front with his name written oh so carefully in it, and then hundreds of kisses, and a flower he picked in the garden
My 4 year old is my greatest gift..
Wendy
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HypnoticFreddy
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #7 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 6:51pm » |
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Lizzie, that was a really well-written post.
My gift is when I get an ok for an Imitrex re-fill.
That is my gift Tuesday. As a kid I wanted a toy firetruck and a Star Wars figure. Now, as an adult I want a really expensive medicine that I can inject myself with.
I did get a really nice Weather Channel color calender for Hanukaka. That is nice. Cool pictures!
-Freddy
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catlind
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #8 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 7:50pm » |
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What gifts have I been given?
The most valuable gift I can think of. Love.
I have found opportunity in CH - the opportunity to help myself and others.
I have found friendship - A true friend is someone who reaches out their hand and touches your heart - I have been touched beyond measure by the friends I have made here.
I have found the solace and comfort of helping. Many have thanked me for 'helping' them, through trials and tribulations, or with CH - by helping them, I have helped myself - I received more than I ever gave.
I have found wisdom. There are many things I am not, patience is one of them, but I have learned through my experience with CH to grow and allow wisdom to be guide more often than intelligence.
And I have found Love. The love of a family and friends that goes beyond anything I had ever known before. The pain of CH is the most intimate experience I have ever encountered. And because of CH I have let people into my little world that I would have previously kept closed off to all but a very very small number of people.
I have seen selflessness and sacrifice, I have witnessed miracles, I have seen truth and valour, and I have witnessed first hand the strength and courage of the human spirit.
It is these gifts that I work so hard to repay through my activities with OUCH. It's the only way I know how to help and give back. I will never be able to repay the countless gifts I have received, both tangible and intangible, from the fortune of having been afflicted with CH.
That is how I view CH now - as a gift.
Cat
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Woobie
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #9 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 8:05pm » |
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Good post Lizzie....
tina
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Tim_w
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #10 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 8:46pm » |
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Gifts I have been given?
One great big loving family of clusterheads 
And CH has made me one tuff SOB Iam a clusterhead I can do anything
TimW Happy Pappy
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Charlie
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #11 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 8:56pm » |
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I'm with Linda.
I never thought I'd meet so many brain-damged friends  I don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't done that little search and then meeting so many of you. What "gift" it is.
Charlie
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Lizzie2
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #12 on: Mar 21st, 2004, 10:11pm » |
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Aww all of your responses made me smile. Finding a family like this one really does help to make it all a little easier, that's for sure!
Kevin, give me at least 2 years, and I'll have my nurse practitioner. I've applied for a scholarship where Jefferson will pay for my first year of nursing school if I agree to work for them for 2 years. In the application, I had to put my preferences for where I want to work. Thomas Jefferson University Hospital is my first choice, and then maybe I will get to spend at least part of my working time working on the inpatient headache floor. The more experience, the better!
Lizzie
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sandie99
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #13 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 4:45am » |
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I'm counting my blessings... and I bought a book title 12 000 reasons to be happy.
Right now, I'm most grateful for sunshine, friends and PF days.
Best wishes & PFdays,
sandie99
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Tiannia
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #14 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 3:37pm » |
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One of the biggest and hardest things for me to learn was to be selfish. I know that sounds crazy but let me explain.
When I was still in college, I was taking 18 credits undergradute, auditing (taking classes without credits) 2 graduate level counseling classes, Working full time at a home for the mentally ill, and spending what little free time I had as a volunteer at a suicide / rape crisis center. I always throught that the more people I helped the more it proved that I was here for a reason. One of my grad teachers told me that I burned with such a fire to help other people that it would consume me one day. At the time I just laughed about it.
After I met my husband (we where just living together at the time), I got him involved as well and because foster parents for boys who where wards of the state. We lived in a house with 6 teen age boys and for all intense and purposes we where mom and dad to them. We married while we were fostering. And when I got pregnant we stoped mostly due to the fact that one of the boys had a very violent history especially towards pregnant women. And I know that my husband would have killed him if he attacked me while i was pregnant. Already had to deal with it once before I was.
This was 7 years ago. And I stopped counseling, because I knew that when I do that, my clients take up all of my time. And I di dnot want to be one of those moms that pushed their child away because they had work to do. (I grew up that way) But I always said that as soon as my kids are big enough that they dont wnat me there 100+% of the time, that I would go back to it. Unexpectedly, I had my son. But it was always in the back of my head to go back to couseling.
Now that I have CH, I have realized that I it does not matter how many people I make whole. How many I help. What matters is that I am here. Completly, mentally. That if I dont make sure that I have time to rejuvinate and make sure that I am whole, that I cant be there for my kids or my husband. CH for me has made my life very clear. That the reason I am here is them and that I can not find that outside of me. I have to be whole on my own . Fighting the beast everyday, makes me very focused on the time I have with out him.
Thanks Liz.
PF wishes to you all,
Tia
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ZAIRA
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #15 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 3:48pm » |
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I read twice your post... the 1st time because I didn't understand all the things..... the 2nd time because it's really nice....
on Mar 21st, 2004, 12:01pm, Lizzie2 wrote:What gifts have been given to you?
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To be born in a Country where I don't run the risk to be beated, raped, killed or sold like a animal, deprived of all human rights only because I'm a woman... a human being and not goods to be sold!
Quote:So....what gifts or positive experiences have you been given through your illness?
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To know you all!
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| « Last Edit: Mar 22nd, 2004, 4:04pm by ZAIRA » |
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Lizzie2
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #16 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 4:52pm » |
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Tia,
I just want to say that I totally know what you mean. Both when I was in high school and throughout college here up until more recently, I had been completely overinvolved. Volunteering with this, helping kids with that...etc etc. I ran fundraisers for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation before I ever got out of high school. When I came to college, I worked for the student crisis hotline at Penn State. When I was in high school, I volunteered at a local hospital. At one point, I had to stop because I got extremely sick. I felt horribly guilty about it all the time!
It is just in the last year or two that I have begun to realize that "No" is a really good word. People ask me to accompany their music performances, and now I say no. I dropped out of many of the organizations I had been in. It was all draining me to the point where I had no energy, no life, and I was not happy. Now, I tend to spend a great deal of time resting and relaxing when I can. I am just in one school activity now. I don't participate in all of the things involved with that activity, but I do what I can.
I finally feel at peace with it. I needed to walk away from overcommitting myself. Nobody really appreciated it, and I hated my life. For the things that I continue to be involved in, I still give them 100% effort. The fact is, I can do that now that I'm doing less. It has allowed me to step back and gain some energy for living and to devote to what I'm still a part of.
So, if it took a lot of trials to figure that all out, it is ok. I'm glad that I learned it!
Hugz and PF,
Lizzie
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thomas
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #17 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 5:03pm » |
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ummmmmmm hmmmmmmmm.......... I guess being tranformed from a self-centerd bastard to someone with a little bit more understanding and compassion for my fellow human beings.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #18 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 5:56pm » |
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Then we've all won, haven't we Thomas?
You... by virtue of us.
WE,....by virtue of what you have to offer us in return. (and you have a lot)
win/win 
I love it when things come together.
Linda
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hopefull
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #19 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 9:58pm » |
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I found out just how strong I am....If I can get thru these theres nothing I can't handle...and that my husband is truely my best freind...God I love him....
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HypnoticFreddy
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #20 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 10:23pm » |
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I can't get through them without thinking of death.
Everytime. I don't act on it. I just think the sufferring of living outweighs the ease of no more pain......forever.
-Freddy
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Lizzie2
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #21 on: Mar 22nd, 2004, 11:30pm » |
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on Mar 22nd, 2004, 10:23pm, HypnoticFreddy wrote:I can't get through them without thinking of death.
Everytime. I don't act on it. I just think the sufferring of living outweighs the ease of no more pain......forever.
-Freddy |
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I just read something along these lines in a book by Bernie Siegel, MD. Here is what it says:
Quote:Woody Allen said, "Life is full of miserableness, loneliness, unhappiness, and suffering--and it's all over much too quickly." Norman Vincent Peale tells of meeting a friend on the street in New York who bemoaned his terrible life. Norman said, "I know a place in the Bronx where there are twenty-five thousand people with no problems." His friend said, "Norman, take me there," and Norman said, "It's Woodlawn Cemetery."
~Bernie Siegel, MD "Peace, Love, and Healing" |
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No matter how bad it is, it is still life!
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TxBasslady
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #22 on: Mar 23rd, 2004, 1:02am » |
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The gifts I have received are priceless!
The gift of friendship, love and compassion have to be the greatest gifts of all.
Knowing that someone is always there for me....
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
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KingOfPain
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #23 on: Mar 23rd, 2004, 1:37am » |
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Re: What gifts have you been given?
« Reply #24 on: Mar 23rd, 2004, 1:44am » |
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I had to think that great question through for a couple of days before I could even begin to answer.
First of all, friendship. I have had friends over the years. Some have come and most have gone. Most became friends based on external circumstances, i.e. job, church, activities, etc. As circumstances changed so did the friends. Thanks to CH I have gotten a whole new group of friends, some of whom I had the privilege to meet at Davcon. The difference is that you have become friends due to internal circumstances, and we know each other far better than we ever can any of the others. I have found a group of truly giving, caring people.
Second, I have to agree with Thomas. I have learned compassion. I had always thought I cared about others, and having been trained for the ministry I tried to show it, but since going chronic I have learned to feel others pain and try to do something about it.
Third, I have developed an even greater appreciation for what Jesus Christ did for me. I know this is not a religious board, and I do not wish to offend. If you have seen the new movie, "The Passion of the Christ" you might know what I am talking about. He suffered a lot more than I, and He did it for me.
Jerry
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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