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Topic: Public announcement of a Private matter... (Read 1223 times) |
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Donna_D.
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Public announcement of a Private matter...
« on: Mar 7th, 2004, 6:24pm » |
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I debated over posting this until I realized that if it were not for the family I have here I would not have been strong enough to make the decisions I have made in regards to my life. With that said, hang on to your hats because this one may throw you for a loop….but don’t worry, I think it is going to have a happy ending. 
Some of you know, and most of you don’t know, that I have been having problems here at home. Marital problems to be exact. I left my husband 2 weeks before Christmas and due to unforeseen problems I had to return home for lack of a safe place for my kids and I to stay. In hindsight, that was a huge mistake, but I never claimed to be perfect. I WON’T make that mistake again!
Well, as of yesterday at 2pm I have made the final decision to leave. Things have not been easy. There has been years of verbal abuse and just recently physical abuse. THE KIDS AND I ARE OK. Everything came to a head yesterday afternoon. I won’t bore you with the details I will just say that I have a few bumps and bruises and I am sore as heck all over, but all minor injuries. I had Dennis (my soon to be ex) taken to jail yesterday. Unfortunately, the responding officers would not take him for family violence because I chose to leave the scene (for safety's sake) and, although I was there before they left, they heard his side of the story and chose to act in a way which I am sure their superiors will be anxious to know about. In their opinion, HE looked the worse of the two of us (I am delighted to say I did get in a good punch or two…and he DESERVED it!). (Don’t worry, I have all legal matters under control and will be addressing any outstanding issues/complaints on Monday with the Sheriff’s Department and will be getting the appropriate restraining order in place once I relocate.) I did manage to get them to take him for warrants on outstanding traffic tickets so I have a window of 7-10 days in which to move. In the last 24 hours I have covered most of my bases and am happy to say that I feel EMPOWERED.
I will be moving to be near my family in Dallas, probably in the Carrollton area where my boss lives. I will be getting an apartment for the kids and I and will be starting over from scratch. My boss is advancing me enough money to get the apartment and all the utilities turned on. I am leaving with our clothes, the computer, the kids toys and a few personal belongings. I do not want any reminders of my past life with him and I am sure most people can understand why. I will be keeping my job working from home and with any luck I will be back on my feet before the year is out. I have not told my family yet as I do not want to worry them. My father is in extremely poor health and my mother and siblings are all going through severe financial difficulties. I am going to move and THEN tell them what has happened. I do not want them to worry about me or feel bad in any way for not being able to help me in this move.
I choose to tell this family (CH.com) because I am going to need all the emotional support and prayers you have to offer. I have found a new inner strength and my family here is primarily responsible for bringing about this change in me. I thank each and every one of you. You may not know it, but you all have special places in my heart.
There have been a few people here who have made huge differences in my life. They have spent countless hours just listening, and not judging, making me smile when I didn’t want to, and offering sound advice and a shoulder to cry on when needed. To those folks I say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Without you , things might have turned out a lot differently. I think I will save what I really want to write about you for Elaine’s Angel Stories.  I look forward to keeping my involvement with OUCH as a “constant” thru all of this…in fact I think I need it to keep my focus. The next issue may be delayed by a week or so…but never fear…I will get it done!
I know a few of you will wonder why I chose to post something so private in such a public forum. The simple answers are…I am sure that I am not the only person out there experiencing the same difficulties. If my public description of this ordeal, and the wonderful results following, encourages them to make a positive step in their lives then I can try to be an example and a source of strength for them as well. There should be no shame in being a victim and hiding it only makes it feel more like a "dirty little secret". And who better to help you deal with life’s adversities than a bunch of folks with really bad headaches! Lord knows this is a tough bunch who has been thru hell and back and lived to tell the tale. I love you all!!
This is the first step down a long road…but I am hoping along the way I will find peace, happiness, joy, and love. All I ask is for your prayers and understanding.
Donna D
P.S. This is the most difficult post I have ever made. But it is also the one that has made me feel the strongest.
Thanks for listening!
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 The information contained above is for the expressed use of fellow clusterheads and their supporters. Any misuse of this information by any of my "Ex's" is considered to be creepy and a form of harassment and will be duly noted by the ch.com webmaster 
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pubgirl
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #1 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 6:30pm » |
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Donna
A brave and fantastic post.
You are so right. If more people spoke out about domestic violence here, there would be more resources for the victims such as refuges.
I have no idea the hell it must have been to go back.
You have my prayers and best wishes. Just wish I were closer and could offer you and your kids something more concrete.
Wendy
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broomhilda
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #2 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 6:46pm » |
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Donna, what a brave an amazing act of empowerment you have done in taking the first step for yourself and your family and as well for sharing truly a painful oderdeal with all of us!
You have now opened many doors for yourself and your children for the future and by sharing this story it shows you have incredible self esteem and will empower others in the same position to learn that there is a way out, although hard, there is light and life to be had outside the vicious cycle of violence. I wish for you peace, joy and happiness for you and your children, you will be in my prayers Take every step with pride and know you are not alone!!!!
Donna if there is anything you need in terms of toys for your children, my son has many he has outgrown, pm me and I can arrange to send you anything even an ear to listen! Wishing you tons of luck and support along your way over the coming months!!!! Good job, keep up the fight!!!!!
Andrea
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Suck it up Princess...
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Kevin_M
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #3 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 6:49pm » |
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Donna,
Your post was very hearfelt in it's poignancy. Your leaving was right and brave. I am sorry for the hardships it has caused you to make the right decision. I am so happy your boss has extended help for you. You will get through this.
Your sharing was because we ARE your family and it presented awareness to us all. Thank you for thinking of possibly others in your same situation. Take care of yourself. Hope to hear from you again soon.
Kevin.
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Melissa
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #4 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 7:01pm » |
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Donna,
I won't go into details of my past, but let's just say, from a daughters standpoint, I know what you're going through. I also want to tell you, that I am so glad you're getting out of that situation and onto a much deserved better life!!! I'm here for you if you need me, just IM, email, or give me a call. (I'll PM you my phone number) Don't ever be too proud to take help from us, ok?? Clusterheads are THERE for each other, no matter if it's because of our HA's, or hell's that life can deal to us. Stay strong and stay determined!!
I'm sending you some vibes of strength and peace Donna~~~~~
mel
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Jackie
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #5 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 7:13pm » |
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Donna,
Bless your heart. You are a brave gal....I'm very proud of you. You've made a good decision for yourself and those beautiful children. I have a feeling that you're gonna do just fine.
Hugs,
Jacks 
PS....please check your PMs
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Woobie
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #6 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 7:40pm » |
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YOU GO GIRL!!!
Im sending you vibes and hugz!!!
Tina 
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Virginia
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #7 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 7:54pm » |
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Donna,
I can't imagine what you've gone through but my prayers go out to you & your children.
I'm sure everything will work out for you and you will be even stronger than you already are when everything is settled.
Take care of yourself.
Virginia
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The Clusterhead formerly known as 9erfan.
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Cathi04
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #8 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 9:09pm » |
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You KNOW how proud I am of you, right now.
NO one ever deserves that kind of treatment. EVER
You know how to find me-however I can help.
Oh, so, proud......Cathi
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Rick_K
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #9 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 9:33pm » |
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Donna, you have a very big family here and we all send you our love and prayers. Debby and I are in North Dallas just a few minuites away from Carrollton, if you need anything just let us know.
Please Donna don't be afraid to ask, we are here to help.
Rick
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bobkip
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #11 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 9:56pm » |
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Way to go Donna. It's a hard thing to do but it's the right thing. Don't ever go back, EVER. Best wishes.
Kip
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cootie
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #12 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 9:58pm » |
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You made the rite decision for the "rest" of your life ! Always nice to know things about family....helps read between the lines ! Did you give him a lefty or a right hook Pam ?
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Renee
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #13 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 10:37pm » |
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DonnaD,
STAY STRONG!! Don't wear down and go back. You and your children deserve SO much more!
You've got my #'s, etc. and I, like Rick, are not very far from Carrollton.
prayers and vibes to ya and keep in touch. let us know once you've got out of that place and got a restraining order. you did say you were getting a restraining order, correct?
renee
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catlind
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #14 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 11:32pm » |
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Make sure you take care of yourself Donna. Those beautiful little children of yours need thier Mommy. Be strong and know that you can make it through this
Cat
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TxBasslady
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #15 on: Mar 7th, 2004, 11:36pm » |
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Donna,
If you need anything.........let us know.
PF vibes,
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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renny
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #16 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 1:03am » |
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Donna....You know where I am, re what we talked about last night...tried to call ALL DAY today, line constantly busy...guess its computer line....As of now have same days off....you know how to reach me girlfriend Karen
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tell me...did the wind sweep you off a' your feet...
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Peppermint
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #17 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 1:24am » |
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Renny, she's again safe for the moment.
thank goodness.
Donna., you check in again tomorrow. SLEEP tonight.
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When playing in the gym, beware of steel beams. - M. Amyx
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FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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Callico
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #18 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 2:00am » |
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Donna,
Usually I am working to help hold families together, but there comes a time one must leave. I am so proud of you that you did not temporize when you found it was time.
A quote from the book "Letters to Phillip" that I use for premarital counselling (and have forgotten the author's name at the moment) says, " If all men that hit women were laid end to end it would be a good thing."
Praying for you.
Jerry
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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BarbaraD
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #19 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 4:32am » |
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Donna,
Let me know where you are and you've got my number if you need anything. I know it was a tuff decision, but probably the right one - finally.
Give the kids a hug for me and let me hear from you. You know how I worry....
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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helpless23
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #20 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 5:08am » |
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Donna,
I can relate to what you're going through, because I've been there myself years ago with my 2 kids.
It's hard to go, but you did the right thing for you AND the kids. It will be hard - but you've done the hardest thing - LEAVING ! I commend and applaud you. Most women don't realize until it's too late, and although I don't know you, you're right. It's like a family here (even for me) and I'm glad you could feel comfortable enough to post here.
If you ever need to talk - please don't hesitate to drop me a line anytime.
Huge hugs to you and Much Love,
Toni
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Tim_w
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #21 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 6:31am » |
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Donna
Wishing the best, hang tuff remember your a clusterhead you can do any thing! and you have one big loving family with you always!
I know what your going through is not eazy but you will find (THERE IS LIFE OUT THERE) Just found that out myself!
If you need any thing just ask , or if you just need to talk!There is a lot of good listeners in this family beleive me I know I have used the hell out of them in the last 9 months ,cant thank them enough, gotta love em
Praying for ya Love Ya Tim W Happy Pappy
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We will all go to HEAVEN we have been to HELL! -(Personal Quote) YES There is life out There (Thank you to my new suporters)
They say this will only make me stronger but I did not ask to be SUPERMAN
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thomas
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #22 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 8:35am » |
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Donna, if there is anything I can do, you just let me know. I glad you have gotten yourself out of there. You will make it, I know. I have a shoulder here, if you need to lean on it. 
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Hirvimaki
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #23 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 8:41am » |
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Donna,
You know I'm always here for ya. You just have to reach out. You are in my prayers (and Eveliina's prayers).
Hugs to you, girl,
Hirvimaki
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"What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others."
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echo
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Re: Public announcement of a Private matter...
« Reply #24 on: Mar 8th, 2004, 9:43am » |
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Sorry to read of the hell you and the kids have been going through. I'm gald you've taken the steps to remove yourself from the situation. I would imagine you are on quite and emotional rollercoaster right now. Reach out for help when you feel you might need it. You deserve a safe, happy, loving life.
Hang in there.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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