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Topic: Obituary - Non CH (Read 403 times) |
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ClusterChuck
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Obituary - Non CH
« on: Mar 2nd, 2004, 10:21pm » |
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Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as Knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his Wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone
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BobG
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #1 on: Mar 2nd, 2004, 10:36pm » |
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RIP Mr. Sense.
Thanks C'Chuck. Nice message.
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jerry1975
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #2 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 3:54am » |
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A real gem, but watch out for the PC police. You got a little gender specific there.
Keep up the good work. 
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #3 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 5:51am » |
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Geezzz Chuck -- that obit was right on target. Might oughta send it to Congress...
Hugs BD
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Filbert
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #4 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 7:24am » |
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Hi Bob G
An excellent post!! Common sense hasn't quite breathed its' last in the UK but it's on its death bed!
Filbert
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Opus
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #5 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 7:45am » |
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I have always thought that if we could replace the leaders of this country with leaders with common sense that we could turn it around from the path of ruin that we are heading down. Are there enough people left in this country with common sense enough to actually vote people into office that also have this common sense? I realize that the answer is NO, the remaining holders of this common sense already vote because they know that if they don't they are adding to the demise of the country, but they still have to vote for the lesser of the two evils, as anyone with common sense is never on the ballot. All the grass roots attempts to get someone on the ballet seem to fail because they support a person who does not have common sense, for example, one who is afraid of black helicopters, or a screaming lunatic. Each new generation seems to have less and less common sense, I guess this is why no civilization lasts very long.
Opus/Paul
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Belle
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #6 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 3:59pm » |
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WOW! Amazing read guys thanx.
Belle
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Linda_Howell
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off my chair and nowRe: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #7 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 6:48pm » |
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damn you...
damn you damn you damn you.
I wanted so much to open this post in time for me to poke fun at you
for something
(stfu randy)
but I can't...
I laughed myself off my chair and now need to go to my 02 tank thank you very fucking much........lol
moi
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KingOfPain
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #8 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 7:33pm » |
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Nice Chuck.
Thank you.
on Mar 2nd, 2004, 10:21pm, ClusterChuck wrote:Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as Knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his Wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone
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Please let us not forget to mourn
the two additional family members:
Common Courtesy
Common Decency
These two have long gone by the way side.
Such a tragedy.
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We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
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Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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Lizzie2
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #9 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 7:41pm » |
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on Mar 3rd, 2004, 7:33pm, KingOfPain wrote:
Please let us not forget to mourn
the two additional family members:
Common Courtesy
Common Decency
These two have long gone by the way side.
Such a tragedy.
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Not to go off on a little tangent, but I have a story relating to that! I went to lunch on Friday at our graduate student center, and because there were no small tables left, I sat at one end of a table for 6. It was really 3 small tables pushed together.
Anyhow, I proceeded to do some studying while eating my lunch when these 3 students came up to me, and they asked if they could sit at the other end of the table. Well, I didn't really care that much, so I said ok. They came back with several other people, and one kid sat down directly across from me.
I really didn't think I'd be able to put up with that, so I got up and said, "I'll move..." They said, "Oh...sorry....we can go look for another table." So I said that's ok I'm already up!
So I picked up my backpack, papers I was studying, and lunch tray and carted off to another table. Meanwhile their little group pushes at least one other table up to the one that they invaded, and they also put chairs at both ends. They took a chair from another woman's table, and then managed to hit her table with the chairs, so she pulled her table back.
Two other women were watching the entire scene, and they said to me.." That is soooo rude! I can't believe they did that!"
Then I heard them talking, and it turned out they were music majors too. Never saw them before! In the end, it didn't matter much, but I really thought it was very rude!
Maybe college freshman these days don't know how to behave in public places!!
Lizz
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Tiannia
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Life does not apologies......
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #10 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 7:49pm » |
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It's ok Lizz, they dont learn maners until they are out of school. Even then it is hard for them....
I dont miss college.
Tiannia
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Leesa
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Re: Obituary - Non CH
« Reply #11 on: Mar 4th, 2004, 9:01pm » |
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Rest in Peace my friends.
I agree with Barb on this one Congress could get ALOT of use outta this one!!
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"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." General H. Norman Schwarzkopf 
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