Author |
Topic: Parenting advice. Not CH (Read 852 times) |
|
pubgirl
Guest
|
SORRY ABOUT LONG POST
Calling all parents out there. I am at my wits end.
The Git (alias 4 year old son), who ate anything that wasn't still alive in a truly legendary fashion when he was a baby now won't eat anything. This has been going on for a long time now, so isn't appearing to be a phase.
He has an eating repertoire of about 5 things, two of which are healthy and will not try anything else. He is very thin of build anyway, but is starting to really worry me.
After yet another infuriating day of cooking, then either eating it myself or giving it to the dog, I NEED IDEAS!
I have tried:
"this is all you're getting, you can go to bed hungry" - so he does!
asking him what he wants (answer crisps and biscuits)
asking him how I can get him to eat (answer, give me chicken nuggets)
making sure he doesn't snack so he is really hungry (doesn't work)
making stupid 'meals that look like animals' things (still won't eat them and they take hours)
getting a kids cookery book and making stuff with him(he enjoys the making but doesn't eat the results)
having friends over to get him to eat with others (they eat, he doesn't)
Bribery only works if it is something he wants to eat anyway)
I know there are loads of parents here who have been through this. Help please!
Wendy
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
thomas
Guest
|
 |
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #1 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 1:28pm » |
 Quote  Modify
 Remove
|
Is he depressed, how are his other behaviors? Changes in appetite, can indicate other types of problems..... I'm stumped, I ate whenever and whatever I could growing up ( didn't know when the next meal was coming sometimes) lol.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
pubgirl
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #2 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 1:43pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Good question Thomas but no signs of anything else other than being very wilful and determined (probably my genes at fault there  ) Happy at school, has good friends, is very active, sleeps well, doesn't wet the bed etc.
I'm trying to stay chilled about it in front of him and avoid battles of will. I'm being told he is "asserting his independence" but at this rate he's going to be very unhealthy.
Wendy
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
thomas
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #3 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 1:49pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Somehow I think that the negative approach will not work in this situation (not saying you're doing that either) I think you are on the right track with the things that you are trying, do you know any pediatric nutrionalists or psychiatrists? Who may be able to shed some light on which path to take to get him to eat healthy? If not find a good story about scurvy and read that to him, maybe that will scare him into eating a balanced diet......... If I'm not mistaken you were the first nation to come up with a good preventive to scurvy  In all seriousness, I'm very concerned about your plight, I can not stand to see children suffer anything, even when it's their own doing. I wish you the best of luck in this.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
amen
New Board Veteran
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender: 
Posts: 130
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #4 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 2:01pm » |
Quote Modify
|
It is not uncommon for children to slow down on their eating when they slow down on the growing. I am not a Doctor but i do have 4 kids. They say that they will eat when they need to. It sounds like you are doing the right things and I am sure he will be fine. But once again I am not a doctor and a mom always knows her child best. Here are some tricks i tried with my kids. BTW one of mine is 4 right now too. We are going through some similar issues. My kids like to snack, and I don't mind as long as they eat a decent dinner. Specifically with my 4 and 2 year old, i tell them if they can give me just 5 more bites (or whatever # I feel is reasonable) then they can have thier snack. then we count the bites together. The trick I throw in sometimes to try to get more than 5 bites is that I will turn my head when they take a bite and then say "Oh sorry mommy didn't see that one can we do it again?" (the counting of the bites also helps them with their counting skills) I also did this with my older 2 kids. They are 10 and 12 now. My 12 year old son is still a little "peanut". but he is healthy. It's worth a try. Good luck. 
Andrea
|
| « Last Edit: Feb 26th, 2004, 2:03pm by amen » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
pubgirl
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #5 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 2:04pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Thomas
Thanks so much for caring. It sounds so trivial in comparison with CH, but I feel like the building blocks for a healthy immune system and life are being missed and I am failing.
It is such a worry as SO many adults now eat crap diets and are grossly unhealthy (The USA is amongst the worst in the world I think but we are close behind) and children are following suit.
The healthiest the Uk has ever been as a nation was during and after the war when food was rationed and people ate what they grew often. Perhaps we should ban fast food completely.
George takes Jelly sweet vitamins every day which luckily he doesn't realise are good for him and I fill him full of milk and orange juice AFTER meals to try and at least get some goodness into him.
I have taken advice from the medical profession and health visitors, but they just advise all the things I'm doing that aren't working!
I'll go away and stop obsessing now 
Thanks again
Wendy
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
pubgirl
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #6 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 2:06pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Andrea
Good idea,  I wanted to hear from people with 'real' experience, not the theorists as I've read the theories, so thank you for taking the time to post
Wendy
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Opus
New Board Hall of Famer
(Insert witty comment here)
  
Gender: 
Posts: 2509
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #7 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 2:18pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Wendy,
My cousin at one point in time would eat nothing but canned spaghetti, He eventually grew out of this phase and lived life normally. I am not sure where he lives now but he did live in france for a while teaching english. Unless the doctors say he is malnourished I wouldn't worry about to much. Also it may be good if this last a long time to have him checked for food allergies, some times they can cause no symptoms but mouth pain which would make eating less attractive. Also if he is eating fine at school them he probably just hates you LOL.
Opus/Paul
|
|
IP Logged |
Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
|
|
|
amen
New Board Veteran
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 130
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #8 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 2:51pm » |
Quote Modify
|
No problem Wendy.
Isn't Thomas a sweet heart!?
I also wanted to Thank you for the info on the "M" word.
Andrea
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Tiannia
New Board Hall of Famer
Life does not apologies......
Gender:
Posts: 3241
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #9 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:02pm » |
Quote Modify
|
My daughter from the time she started eating table food until she was 3 would not eat any meat. All she wanted was corn and mac and cheese and would not touch anything else. And yes I tryed everything the going to bed hungry and all that stuff. It just did not work. Eventually she tryed chicken nuggets and then she added that to her only meal for about 1 and a half years. They whole time I talked to the doctor because I know what she should be eating different types of food and I did not want her to be mal nurished. The doctor todl me that I was fine. That I just made her meal and cooked for the rest of the family. We have always done the counting thing to get her to finish what was on her plate. I got really good at looking at what was left and knowing what would finish it up 5 or 8 bites whatever. After about the age of 5 and seeing what mom and dad where eating she would try stuff off our plates. And eventually started eating what we ate all the time. I still have special meals in the frig or freezer that she picks out and if she hasa had a really good day or whatever then she can pick her special meal and not eat what we are having. One of the things that I started was that her snacks where apples or oranges or bananas or whatever as long as it was a fruit. That way I know that she was still getting vitamins and nutrients.
Wendy you are doing the right things. Just stay patient and dont blow your top.
Tiannia
|
|
IP Logged |
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
|
|
|
Killroy 2.0
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Kilroy 2.0 is Here! Kilroy 2.0 is Everywhere!
Posts: 1426
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #10 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:04pm » |
Quote Modify
|
My little one would eat anything hen he was little then at about 3 all I could get him to eat were PB&Js and Hotdogs. He will be 8 this March and has added only a few (and I mean few) things to this list. I just make sure that he gets a Vit. every morning (gummy ones work the best) He will also drink those Vit drinks.
All though he is thin the doc says he is healthy so I try not to worry about it to much.
I say go with the flow
Just give him extra vit
Gena
|
|
IP Logged |
Do the walls speak to you? Do you follow the Geek Messiah? DO YOU COMPLY?!
|
|
|
Cathi04
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 1745
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #11 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:12pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Wendy!!! This is one I of which I actually HAVE some knowledge!!! being a seasoned parent...and a grandmother, I might add(ya wanna see his pics?)....I went waaaaay back in my memory banks, to when Dana & Todd were wee ones...Andrea's info is right..seems like, especially Todd..when he had a spell where he was ravenous, it was always followed by a trip to buy new clothes...he'd grow out of everything!! Dana was a bit more subtle, I think..and never as picky as Todd..why, at 28, I refuse to cook for him, coz he still has a limited menu of choice. I kept peanut butter and carrots around all the time, he ate a Lot of cheese, and we are big on milk here..so I knew he wouldn't starve...when I let go of my fears of starving him to death, things seemed to improve...Michael, now 6yrs old, is doing the eat n grow thing, too...must be some truth to it...Michael is, of course, a perfect specimen!
Now, how do I explain to Gil that beer is NOT a food group, and get him to eat his veggies???
Wendy..you're a good mom!! George is gonna be just fine!!!
Cathi
|
|
IP Logged |
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
|
|
|
amen
New Board Veteran
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 130
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #12 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:14pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Good Point Tiannia! About the snacks. I meant to add that too. Not to say we don't have junk food, but I try to limit the snacks to fruit, nuts, popcorn, peanut butter & crackers. Not the healthiest, but healthier than cookies and chips and stuff.
Andrea
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
bobkip
New Board Old Timer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 492
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #13 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:23pm » |
Quote Modify
|
What everyone said and a little more. We raised 2 kids, now 42 & 43, and went thru the same thing. At one point, our daughter dicided she didn't like bacon or hotdogs so she'd load her mouth with it and go to the bathroom to spit it out. That ended when she forgot to flush. Just give it time, before ya know it he's gonna be eating you out of house and home.
Kip
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Margi
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Nuthin like a good neck rub!
Gender:
Posts: 3757
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #14 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:32pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Wendy, you've already answered your own question. He's FOUR. Terrible Two's got nuthin on the Fearsome Four's. I tried to rent my daughter out when she was 4 - no takers. She had gagging down to a fine art (especially lovely with mashed potatoes) and developed a fine knack of only doing it when I was watching her.
Best defense? Ignore it. Serve him what you want him to eat. Give him a reasonable timeframe in which to consume it (even leave him sitting at the table after you're finished), then remove it, regardless of what he's eaten. Nothing else, outside of meals. No cookies, bedtime snacks. This may sound cruel, but he will eat when he's hungry. It will be hardest on you, Mum - four year olds have amazing constitution and I think this is when they discover their own stubbornness. It's a battle of wills at that age.
My daughter is about to be 22 and she and I both survived her fourth year. It was touch and go a few times, but we made it. You will too, Wendy - now's really the time to establish the house rules though. Trust me on this one. 4 year olds can quickly become Pack Leader if you let 'em.
|
|
IP Logged |
http://askusaboutourgrandkids.photosite.com/
And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
|
|
|
kim
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 7
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #15 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 3:42pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Doc says he's oK? He's most prolly jes fine....he is just honing his skills. Wait till he's a teenager. You'll wonder why ya didn't starve him when ya had the chance 
Good luck Mom.
Hugs***
Anudda mudda
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
BruceD
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got Atrium?
Gender:
Posts: 507
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #16 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 4:23pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Feb 26th, 2004, 3:32pm, Margi wrote:Wendy, you've already answered your own question. He's FOUR. Terrible Two's got nuthin on the Fearsome Four's.
|
|
Margi's got it spot on. Four year olds are starting to understand how much control they have over their own lives. It's also a time of amazing growth spurts. All 3 of ours went through the "don't need food" stage around that age & are none the worse for wear. Just keep setting a good example for him with the foods you eat & he'll come around eventually. Our middle boy had 3 food groups ... the sugar group ... the milk group ... and the fried chicken group. When we expressed concern to our pediatrician, he laughed ... and said that it was normal and that a daily vitamin would quell mom & dad's concerns. I must say that he is still a picky eater (at times) but he now eats a well balanced & healthy diet.
Hang in there,
BruceD
|
|
IP Logged |
Childhood is short, maturity is forever. (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)
|
|
|
pubgirl
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #17 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 5:13pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Thanks so much girls and boys, old friends and new!
I can't tell you how much better I feel after reading these. I asked around the other mums and although they had picky eaters, none seemed as bad as George which worried me even more. Now you mention it Andrea and Cathi, he does eat more (still not much) when he is in a 'manic' active growing phase, though this only lasts about a week or so.
I will take your advice as you are all pretty much saying the same thing.
So I shall:
TRY and stop worrying
Keep going with the jelly vits and the juice
Be comforted by the fact that he eats brown bread and Marmite sandwiches and drinks strawberry milk and eats apples (that's pretty much his diet with chicken nuggets and chips and ketchup)
Just keep hiding veg in things where I can get away with it.
I am much happier now.
Thanks
Wendy
|
| « Last Edit: Feb 26th, 2004, 5:14pm by pubgirl » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Cathi04
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 1745
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #18 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 5:29pm » |
Quote Modify
|
so, then, Wedy....how are you gonna help me with my 57 yr old...he's soo damn cute..but he won't eat his veggies......
George...be a good boy for your mum!
|
|
IP Logged |
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
|
|
|
pubgirl
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #19 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 5:36pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Cathi
Try Tempura. I've seen people who hate veggies love them cooked like that (not George though!)
W
P.S. George is rarely a good boy for his Mum, but usually is for everyone else. Typical stroppy 4 year old!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Tiannia
New Board Hall of Famer
Life does not apologies......
Gender:
Posts: 3241
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #20 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 6:12pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Feb 26th, 2004, 5:36pm, pubgirl wrote:
P.S. George is rarely a good boy for his Mum, but usually is for everyone else. Typical stroppy 4 year old! |
|
I dont think they get any better with age. My daughter is 6 and I still have people tell me how great she is and I wonder who they are talking about.
Now my 18mo old son wraps everyone around his finger with the crocodile tears ever time he hears the word "no". 
Wendy, you will do great. He will eat what he needs to and one other thing. My doc told me this when I was preggers and was craving of all things lemons. That when you really crave something it is because you are lacking something in your system that that food has a lot of. So if George asks for something (obviously sugar is not a good example hehe) then try and get it for him cause he might be needing it.
Tia
|
|
IP Logged |
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
|
|
|
Paigelle
Guest
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #21 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 6:44pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
My 3 1/2 yr old has stages of what he will eat. One week it will be mac & cheese, the next week peanut butter, then chicken nuggets. Never what I want him too!!! So now, I just wait until he tells me he is hungry and feed him, that way he will pretty much eat whatever.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
kim
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 7
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #22 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 8:13pm » |
Quote Modify
|
The day will come when your child (along with 12 or more of his/her associates) will pass through the kitchen in the manner of some sort of assailant wind and you will look forlornly at your pantry and contemplate bankruptcy or room rental...............
I sure hope i dun't get a toothace
$$$$$$$$$$$
|
| « Last Edit: Feb 26th, 2004, 8:13pm by kim » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 5747
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #23 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 8:27pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Feb 26th, 2004, 6:12pm, Tiannia wrote:
I dont think they get any better with age. My daughter is 6 and I still have people tell me how great she is and I wonder who they are talking about. Hey, I have a 4 year old (grandson) just like that
Now my 18mo old son wraps everyone around his finger with the crocodile tears ever time he hears the word "no". My 19 month old (grandson) doesn't cry. He ignores me with a "Get off my back old man" look and jumps on his tricycle and tries to run away. We only live a few blocks apart. Maybe you can bring your kids over and they can play in traffic with my kids. 
That when you really crave something it is because you are lacking something in your system that that food has a lot of. So if George asks for something (obviously sugar is not a good example hehe) then try and get it for him cause he might be needing it. Wendy, Tiannia is right about this. Have you ever caught yourself over-salting your food or maybe drinking 5 gallons of water in one day? That's you body saying "Feed Me!"
|
|
|
|
IP Logged |
Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
|
|
|
fubar
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 1933
|
|
Re: Parenting advice. Not CH
« Reply #24 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 9:54pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Wendi,
If I was four and in England, I wouldn't eat either. 
Try some exotic AMERICAN food on him. hehe
-Fu
|
|
IP Logged |
"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss