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Topic: food for thought...nothin' tasty.... (Read 1962 times) |
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Little Deb
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food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:34pm » |
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Hello all you wonderful CH'rs! You know I usually send welcome notes to new people when I find them. I wanted to share an email I got today. Here goes.....
"...sounds like a really fantabulous group ..."
"....I am learning that less participation in the message board is best....too many respondents, who are generally pretty vulnerable folks, are wide open fair game for some barbed smart asses with too much time on their hands. Several times I got responses that were so off the charts bizarro that they either had to be pulling my leg or were on some really good meds at the time. Others were downright mean-spirited responses to other respondents....old history rearing its head, I guess. In any case, you probably won't see my name there much anymore...except when it's really urgent or related to your soiree! Too bad that a few bad eggs have to make it so difficult for those of us trying to share information to help others."
I am only sharing this cause I it saddens me to see a new person have this view of us. They haven't gotten to know us yet, and may not come back. That really makes me sad. We ALL need each other, and each new person who comes to this site, ( a genuine CH'r) also needs us.
You know the saying "you can't choose your family". Not everyone who comes to this site will have something worthwhile to contribute. They may say really stupid things. But they are HERE, and asking for or offering support.
I hope this person who emailed me will stay. She seems to be very genuine, and interested in being part of the family, and in the long run, a very good supporter to all of us. She just fits. I hope she hasn't been scared away for good.
feeling like I have lost a new family member...little deb 
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:36pm by Little Deb » |
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jonny
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #1 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:42pm » |
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WAH!!!.."Bizzaro...Mean spirited?"
Must have been me 
........................jonny
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TomM
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #2 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:43pm » |
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Interesting point of view. Thanks for sharing this Lil Deb.
TomM
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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brain_cramps
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #3 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:51pm » |
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LMAO!!! yep --- my money is on jonny
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Paigelle
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #4 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:52pm » |
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You are right we can't pick our family. We are stuck together and we are gonna laugh, cry, fight, but we are a family. That is proven everyday. Some people are very new to CH and even new to "surfing", so they are lost. Sometimes when newbies post they aren't sure what to say and sound kinda whacko themselves. But somehow we need to let them hear what kindness and support is offered here. We could save a life.
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TomM
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #5 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:54pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 3:52pm, Paigelle wrote: It's saved mine many times.
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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brain_cramps
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #6 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:55pm » |
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seriously tho --- i've been guilty of that in the past and am tryin to be nicer to the newcomers (even if they start another "left-handed or right-handed thread )
tryin to "mend my ways",
grant
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KingOfPain
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #7 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:58pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 3:34pm, Little Deb wrote:
We ALL need each other, and each new person who comes to this site, ( a genuine CH'r) also needs us.
You know the saying "you can't choose your family". Not everyone who comes to this site will have something worthwhile to contribute. They may say really stupid things. But they are HERE, and asking for or offering support.
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Ditto to that!
Flame shields up Captain?
Make it so!
Thanks Little Deb
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:00pm by KingOfPain » |
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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CHmess
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #8 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 3:59pm » |
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She's right - you guys were all soooooooo great to me when I first got on here but I've watched some newbie's get really slammed on lately......... I know by now which ones are the "smarty pants" and when you guys are just blowin smoke - but I remember thinking sometimes - gosh I'm glad I didn't get replies like that - I probably would have crawled in a corner and cried.......
But if you keep reading --- you can see that even the tough guys are there when you need them!!!!!!!
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Tiannia
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #9 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:01pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 3:52pm, Paigelle wrote:
Yep, I know that there have been a few times that I have read the board and just taken what was said badly. I hurt and thus made what was said a hundred times sharper then it was probably mean. But after I decide, well I guess I wont come back to Clusterville. I always end up coming back and lurking for a while. Cause I cant but help and care about people here. I dont know if I will ever get to meet anyone face to face, but I'll be damned if I 'm gonna let anyone feel like they were abandonded.
All of us, are so very strong willed, (I think we have to be to live with CH). That is the first thing that I think we need to make sure to say hi to a noob. That people are loud , rude, crass and harsh, but have a heart as big as the sun.
Tiannia
EDIT : Thanks KoP I needed to laugh... but you should change your name to King of Smilies..... 
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:09pm by Tiannia » |
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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thomas
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #10 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:17pm » |
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Thanks for lunch Deb.... Now some dessert. I don't think that for a moment being flippant or mean to newbies is at any time acceptable. That's all I have to say. You've got to hug them on the way in, give 'em lots o love and support, 'cause they ain't gettin' it anywhere else, you can bet on that. When they're strong enough, then you can joke and kid with them a little.. Most people that find this site for the FIRST time are in pain. We should ALL consider that fact.
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jonny
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #11 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:22pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 4:17pm, thomas wrote:| When they're strong enough, then you can joke and kid with them a little.. . |
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Prehaps what this person saw was you and Don picking on me relentlessly...
.......................jonny
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thomas
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #12 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:24pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 4:22pm, jonny wrote:
Prehaps what this person saw was you and Don picking on me relentlessly...
.......................jonny
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But you're so damn easy jonny.......Besides you give as good as you get ma brutha. 
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Paigelle
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #13 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:29pm » |
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Oh poor Jonny! People pickin' on him. I will get 'em for ya Jonny! 
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jonny
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #14 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:32pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 4:29pm, Paigelle wrote:| Oh poor Jonny! People pickin' on him. I will get 'em for ya Jonny! |
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Kill Don first...he called me a homo....LOL
...............jonny
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grumpett
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #15 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:33pm » |
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I can relate to how I felt at first and some times still feel like I am walking on thin ice.
I feel like I am starting to get to know all of you and think you are all great and that we all DO share the same pain.
I left and came back and am here to stay. But that was me and I think that WE ALL should be more patient with new comers, I am sure that is what DJ meant for this site.
Anyway that was my 2 cents.
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i'm not crazy....I've just been in a bad mood for 30 years!
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Paigelle
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #16 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:39pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 4:32pm, jonny wrote:
Kill Don first...he called me a homo....LOL
...............jonny
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That's it! Where the hell is Don? lol
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CJohnson
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #17 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:42pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 4:32pm, jonny wrote:
Kill Don first...he called me a homo....LOL
...............jonny
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Not that theres anything wrong with that.
PFDANs
-Curtis
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jonny
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #18 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 4:44pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 4:42pm, CJohnson wrote:| Not that theres anything wrong with that. |
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Not at all!!
..................jonny
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aprilbee
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #19 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 5:05pm » |
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I kind of teeter totter on this subject, I am an EXTREMELY shy person, even on a message board where no one can see me, but I OBSERVED and added 2 cents here and there when I first got here.... eventually realizing a lot of any "mean" thing said is in jest and not meant to hurt feelings...
we all need to support and be supported, HOWEVER if its serious all of the time, this place would be no fun, and I think thats why most of us stick around so long, thats what being a family about, good and bad times!
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fubar
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #20 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 5:20pm » |
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Gotta admit, it took me a while to figure out how to digest the crap that was slung my way when I first arrived here, but I stuck through it and I am eternally grateful for this, the only family that really understands me. There have been some ugly exchanges, but I learned to take it in stride. Some of us pat ourselves on the back, saying what thick skin we have because of the inordinate amounts of pain we endure, but it's surprising how thin-skinned people can be sometimes. The ones who stay and learn will know, this place rocks.
-Shawn
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amen
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #21 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 5:22pm » |
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I have to admit, I was flamed a few times myself, (yep, I started a left vs right thread when I was new)  but there are some of you guys out there who PM'd me some very supportive messages. You know who you are . I am assuming they do this alot when it looks as though someone might be getting flamed and thinking about leaving the board. Hopefully this person got some of these messages too.
My feeling is if they get these messages and still decide to leave, then it's thier choice. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, or grow thicker skin!
there's my  !
Andrea
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henzey
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #22 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 5:25pm » |
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Well, I have to admit to being the newbie that started all this which will probably start some unexpected reactions...but I really appreciate Deb's efforts here. I was really also speaking up for some other Newbies who were clearly smarting and have truly gone away.....while I have still been participating, but more guardedly. The issue really is a couple of specific folks who like to make fun of people who have scary drug reactions or looking for guidance. It's true that you probably lose alot of newbies who never come back....but these types of responses will assure that they don't. Fortunately, I am a tough bird  as my husband points out, so I am not totally gone, but I definitely will be far more cautious about postings on the medications sites after yesterday. 
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don
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #23 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 5:28pm » |
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Quote:| Besides you give as good as you get ma brutha. |
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Yes. Yes he does.
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jonny
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Re: food for thought...nothin' tasty....
« Reply #24 on: Jan 14th, 2004, 5:30pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2004, 5:25pm, henzey wrote:| but I definitely will be far more cautious about postings on the medications sites after yesterday. |
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I knew it wasnt me...I hardly ever go downstairs.
.................jonny
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