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Topic: Halloween (Read 708 times) |
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purpleydog
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He eplies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single
and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?""Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #1 on: Oct 28th, 2004, 7:25pm » |
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Beaut way to start the day. Thanks mate.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #2 on: Oct 28th, 2004, 7:25pm » |
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 LOL!
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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broomhilda
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Ride it!
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #3 on: Oct 28th, 2004, 8:46pm » |
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Suck it up Princess...
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LeLimey
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #4 on: Oct 29th, 2004, 5:07pm » |
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Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27-year-old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Thursday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there
wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County
courthouse jail. Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the
White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Davidson. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?"
HALLOWEEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT AREN'T
* She's a goblin!
* I'd like to get a little something in the sack.
* Let me see your bag....OH!-You're having a great night!
* Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
* She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
* If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
* Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.
* Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
* You scared me stiff!
* He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #5 on: Nov 3rd, 2004, 1:19am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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ArCane
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Onward through the fog
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #6 on: Nov 3rd, 2004, 10:27am » |
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Alchemy’s First Law of Equivalent Exchange: To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
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Miklos
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #7 on: Nov 3rd, 2004, 2:59pm » |
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You're both sick!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 3rd, 2004, 4:43pm by Miklos » |
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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Jimmy_B.
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USS Missouri BB-63 Veteran
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Re: Halloween
« Reply #8 on: Nov 3rd, 2004, 5:11pm » |
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A pumpkin, hmmmm. "soft & squishy on the inside,"hmmm...scratches his head & thinks.
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"I'd much rather be HAPPY then RIGHT any day" Slartibartfast
Get informed! Don't vote a party ticket. Go to www.vote-smart.org and find out where your political candidates stand.
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