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Topic: Funny Bumper Stickers (Read 1266 times) |
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broomhilda
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Funny Bumper Stickers
« on: Sep 6th, 2004, 12:03am » |
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Bitchy Bumper Stickers
1.Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
3. If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People
4. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
5. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point
6. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
7. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
8. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
9. To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing..
10. If At First You Don't Succeed .. Blame Someone Else, then Seek Counseling.
11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
12. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
13. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
14. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass..
15. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
16.The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.
17. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
18. So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.
19. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
20. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
21. Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
22. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
23. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
24. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
25. It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
26. [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest] If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off.
27. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
28. Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!
29. Remember Folks --- Stop Lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.
30. [Reported to be seen In a Restaurant's Window]
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service
Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge
31. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
32. Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.
33. Cat --- The Other White Meat.
34. Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!
35. Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.
36. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
37. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
38. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
39. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... Got It!
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BobG
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #1 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 4:00am » |
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#6 is right on. 
People with cell phones should be shot dead!
All the others are funny. Especially #39. That's my grandsons. Spoiled little brats. 
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Jaime
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #2 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 7:28am » |
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I have some bumper stickers on my car I really like. Here are my favorites;
"When Jesus said 'Love your enemies' I think he probably meant 'Don't Kill Them'"
The problems we face today will not be solved by the minds that created them.
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clarence
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #3 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 7:36am » |
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With reference to number 36, I saw one that answers it:
If we aren't supposed to eat animals why are they made out of meat?
I liked that one.
Casey
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IndianaJohn
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #4 on: Sep 6th, 2004, 8:34am » |
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How about:
Don't bother explaining because I don't care.
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Redrum
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #5 on: Sep 7th, 2004, 10:55am » |
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....Are you out of blinker fluid?....
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vietvet2tours
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #6 on: Sep 7th, 2004, 5:19pm » |
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save a mouse eat a p-ssy
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Kill em all let God sort em out
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Biker
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #7 on: Sep 9th, 2004, 10:33pm » |
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Only users loose drugs
Rehab is for quitters
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alleyoop
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #8 on: Sep 10th, 2004, 12:25am » |
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Seen on an old farm truck in south Georgia shortly before the state voted in the lottery:
"Legalize Gambling! Why should farmers have all the fun?"
Seen on a new convertible Mercedes Benz being driven by a beautiful blonde:
"Not All Blondes Are Dumb!"
The bumper sticker had been placed on the bumper upside-down!
..................................alley
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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unsolved1
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #9 on: Sep 13th, 2004, 2:21am » |
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My sister actually has the #13 bumper sticker on her car now !!
Unsolved
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Jeepgun
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #10 on: Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:58pm » |
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On my Jeep: "God was my copilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him." and it features a sheepishly smiling happy face, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. 
The other one says simply, "Don't Be A Dick."
<----Going to Hell
How about a few more?
"Asphalt is not a rectal disorder."
"When I grow up, I wanna be Barbie. (The bitch has EVERYTHING!)"
"My Jeep is not an SUV and your SUV is not a Jeep!"
"Don't Follow Me: You Won't Make It."
"It used to be sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. Now it's beer, the old lady, and the television."
"Keep honking. I'm just reloading."
My front license plate: Black letters on a plain white plate: STFU
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BobG
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #11 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 12:49am » |
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"My Jeep is not an SUV and your SUV is not a Jeep!"
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Jeepgun
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #12 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:21am » |
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How in the...? What the....? LMAO!! So many grossly stupid people, so little time to laugh at them all... LOL!
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #13 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 11:59am » |
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My bosses bumper sticker....
Where are we going? Why am I in this handbascket?
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ArCane
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #14 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 12:23pm » |
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I saw a good bumper sticker the other day it said:
"Warning: In case of Rapture this car will be unmanned."
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Jeepgun
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #15 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 12:27pm » |
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Um... Were they driving a nice car?
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inyoureye
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #16 on: Nov 10th, 2004, 6:54pm » |
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Eat a vegetarian!
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PittsburghJoe
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #17 on: Nov 11th, 2004, 9:35am » |
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In case of Rapture: Can I have your car?
Jesus is coming. Look busy!
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Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. - Bruce Cockburn, "Lovers in a Dangerous Time"
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LeLimey
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #18 on: Nov 11th, 2004, 9:39am » |
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I was grinning before I opened this thread knowing what was coming! Thank you all for a thumping good giggle!!
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AussieBrian
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #19 on: Nov 11th, 2004, 6:38pm » |
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"Honk if you've never seen an Uzi"
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sandie99
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Re: Funny Bumper Stickers
« Reply #20 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 2:58am » |
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Nice start to my busy day!
Thanks.
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