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Topic: alternate meanings (Read 429 times) |
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BobG
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alternate meanings
« on: Aug 30th, 2004, 3:06pm » |
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The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest:
•coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon
•flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
•abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
•esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
•willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
•negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie
•lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
•gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash
•flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
•balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline
•testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam
•rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
•oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions
•circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts
•pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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yikes-another-one
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Re: alternate meanings
« Reply #1 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 9:53pm » |
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Psalm 23 - Goodness and mercy shall follow US all the days of our lives and WE will dwell in the house of LOVE forever.
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Jeepgun
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Incorrigible: (adj.) Metal that is not able to be corrugated.
Brassiere: (adj.) Alloys containing a higher content of brass.
Isometrics: (v.) The act of flipping a pillow over to find the cool spot, or shifting one's feet/legs for the same reason.
Exfoliate: (v.) Pulling dead leaves off tree branches.
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