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Topic: man and woman to funny (Read 324 times) |
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eddie
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man and woman to funny
« on: Aug 18th, 2004, 10:42pm » |
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> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
> wash his sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to
> me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
> "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
> shirt?"
> He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
> And they say blondes are dumb...
> _______________________
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
> "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the
> world"
> The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
> _______________________
> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
> as he
> stepped out of the shower, "honey,
> what do you think the neighbors would think if I
> mowed the lawn
> like this?"
> "Probably that I married you for your money," she
> replied.
> _______________________
> He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have
> wanted to make
> love to you really badly.
> She said - Well, you succeeded.
> ______________________
> He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
> She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the
> ironing board
> while I sit on the sofa and fart.
> _______________________
> He said - What have you been doing with all the
> grocery money I
> gave you?
> She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
> ______________________
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
> sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
> _______________________
> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
> celebrating their
> 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a
> good fairy came to
> them and said that because they had been such a
> devoted couple she
> would grant each of them a very special wish.
> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her
> husband.
> Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets
> in her hands.
> The man wished for a female companion 30 years
> younger...
> Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
> Gotta love that fairy!
> __________________
> AND THE BEST ONE YET..
> A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
> * She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
> coffee.
> * Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
> * Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
> * Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
> * And her husband is on the back of the milk
> carton
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