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Topic: just a few jokes (Read 238 times) |
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no-one
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just a few jokes
« on: Apr 16th, 2004, 1:13pm » |
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
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>1. All the DNA is the same.
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>2. There are no dental records.
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>----------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
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>A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
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>it'll take to fly from San Francisco to Ne w York City?"
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>The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
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>"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
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>"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
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>"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
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>"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
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>"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
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>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock.
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>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
>New Sex Study...
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>It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married
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>couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife
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>rolls over and plays dead.
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>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
>the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
>him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
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>The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start
>by buying me a drink."
>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
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>Joe: "Really?"
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>Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
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>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
>feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-w ord the doctor used in
>surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
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>"OOPS!"
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>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display
>of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds
>since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
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>"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
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>"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
>_______________________________________________________________________ ____
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>Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped
>the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
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>He said, "I did that by accident."
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>She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
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>He replied, "How did you know?"
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>She said, "Because you didn't say "not a very nice person!" afterwards
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"Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter....don't mind....And those that mind....don't matter."
Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov
Unless you believe, you will not understand.
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bobkip
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: just a few jokes
« Reply #1 on: Apr 20th, 2004, 7:53pm » |
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Good ones Becky, thx.
Kip
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