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Topic: Top 8 Morons of 2003 (Read 313 times) |
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Little Deb
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Please SPAY and NEUTER all dogs, cats and idiots!
 
 
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Top 8 Morons of 2003
« on: Jan 21st, 2004, 8:48pm » |
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Top 8 Morons of 2003
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop, and asked for all t! he
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up
the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot,"
the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?"
the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a! gun, but fortunately, he failed to keep his hand
in his pocket (hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand
new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no
matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it
go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them
what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect
working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the
prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped
in the water to check underneath He came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE....
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
Does any one else find it frightening that the
majority of these events took place in California...
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thomas
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on Jan 21st, 2004, 8:48pm, Little Deb wrote:
Does any one else find it frightening that the
majority of these events took place in California...
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Not in the least, it's to be expected. 
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