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   Author  Topic: Thoughts.......  (Read 211 times)
kim
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Thoughts.......
« on: Jan 13th, 2004, 1:59pm »
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Gardening Rule:  
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and  not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.  
 
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.  
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Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.  
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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.  
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Life is sexually transmitted.  
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.  
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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"  
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.  
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.  
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Get the last word in: Apologize.  
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;  teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.  
 
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Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.  
 
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.  
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?  
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.  
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.  
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?  
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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.  
 
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  
 
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?  
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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY:  
You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as  
 
long as 10-15  years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a  video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!!!  
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