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thomas
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The Stella Awards
« on: Oct 30th, 2003, 8:55am »
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THE STELLA AWARDS 2002  
 
 
 
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards.  
 
The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck ,who spilled coffee  
 
on herself and successfully sued Macdonald's . That case inspired the  
 
Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United  
 
States.  
 
 
 
Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating Macdonald's, the teens  
 
who alleged that eating at Macdonald's has made them fat, was filed after  
 
the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list  
 
without question.  
 
 
 
5th place (Tied)  
 
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her  
 
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running  
 
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably  
 
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms.  
 
Robertson's son.  
 
 
 
5th place (Tied)  
 
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses  
 
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman  
 
apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he  
 
was trying to steal the hubcaps.  
 
 
 
5th place (Tied)  
 
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just  
 
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage  
 
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could  
 
not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage  
 
locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr. Dickson  
 
found him self locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of  
 
Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's  
 
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury  
 
agreed to the tune of $500,000  
 
 
 
4th place  
 
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical  
 
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's  
 
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The  
 
award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a  
 
little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence  
 
into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.  
 
 
 
3rd place  
 
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,  
 
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her  
 
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had  
 
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.  
 
 
 
2nd place  
 
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a  
 
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and  
 
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.Walton was  
 
trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the  
 
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.  
 
 
 
1st Place  
 
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,  
 
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his  
 
trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set  
 
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into  
 
the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left  
 
the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not  
 
advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The  
 
jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company  
 
actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case  
 
there was any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
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