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Topic: A Dog's Letter to God (Read 291 times) |
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frenzik
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A Dog's Letter to God
« on: Sep 15th, 2003, 8:41pm » |
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Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not throw up in Mama's truck or Dad's new car.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God,
May I please have my testicles back?
Amen.
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'The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive, but attainable - a perpetual series of occasions for hope" John Buchan - date unknown
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Callico
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
« Reply #1 on: Nov 8th, 2003, 1:00am » |
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THat is the funniest one I have read in a long time! I usually pick up on the punch line long before I get to the end, but that one snuck up on me! I cried with laughter.
Thanks!
jc
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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