Author |
Topic: Airplane fixes (Read 307 times) |
|
BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender: 
Posts: 5747
|
 |
Airplane fixes
« on: Jun 5th, 2003, 11:03am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QUANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P) stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log,
(S) stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: There is no autoland installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
|
|
 IP Logged |
Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
|
|
|
goaway
New Board Veteran
"Things take longer than they do."
Gender:
Posts: 230
|
 |
Re: Airplane fixes
« Reply #1 on: Aug 3rd, 2003, 7:25pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Bob
THANKS SO MUCH!
Laughed so hard. Am sending to my father who is a retired airlines mechanic.
Mike
|
|
IP Logged |
"If you get robbed by worry,.....it was an 'inside' job."
"...runnin' with the shadow...runnin' with the shadow..."
"We don't rent pigs."
|
|
|
5-string
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Old Timer
Nothing is accomplished without passion
Gender:
Posts: 416
|
|
Re: Airplane fixes
« Reply #2 on: Aug 5th, 2003, 1:15pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Very funny, I'll have to pass this around at work. I'm a mechanic,
and thats what can happen when the problem's not described properly  .
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss