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Topic: helpful hints (Read 212 times) |
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gladiola
New Board Junior
Pi R Square. Noo! Pi R Round. Cornbread R Square.
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Posts: 84
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helpful hints
« on: Oct 30th, 2002, 11:01am » |
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Helpful Hint #1
If you're choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful, inexpensive vibrator.
Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
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Margi
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Nuthin like a good neck rub!
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Posts: 3757
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Re: helpful hints
« Reply #1 on: Oct 30th, 2002, 11:08am » |
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ROFLMAO
I don't know who you are, Gladiola, but I'd just like to thank you for always keeping us smiling.
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http://askusaboutourgrandkids.photosite.com/
And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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gladiola
New Board Junior
Pi R Square. Noo! Pi R Round. Cornbread R Square.
Gender:
Posts: 84
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Re: helpful hints
« Reply #2 on: Oct 30th, 2002, 1:38pm » |
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You are absolutely more than welcome 
I'm a CH supporter, been hanging around this site for about 2 years. Have a friend who suffers the beast..pass info on to him as he's not 'net savvy.
You guys are the greatest.
Silent, shy type, me. Yes. Really.
Gladiola
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Margi
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Nuthin like a good neck rub!
Gender:
Posts: 3757
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Re: helpful hints
« Reply #3 on: Oct 30th, 2002, 1:41pm » |
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Nice to meetcha, Gladiola 
Feel free to speak up anytime. I'm at moxie_miss@hotmail.com if you ever need a fellow supporter's shoulder.
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http://askusaboutourgrandkids.photosite.com/
And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
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Posts: 5747
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Re: helpful hints
« Reply #4 on: Nov 1st, 2002, 1:56pm » |
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Helpful Hint #6.........Yes! ;D
I just love the way Texas women think.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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gladi0la
New Board Newbie
Pi R Square. Noo! Pi R Round. Cornbread R Square.
Posts: 16
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Re: helpful hints
« Reply #5 on: Nov 1st, 2002, 10:08pm » |
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Gee Bob. Thanks.
Makes me wanna saunter bowlegged, hitch mah breetches up with one hand, while digging in mah ear with the other, and hawk a loogey 10 feet in yonder die-rection. I reckon.
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MOI vouloir volontiers fessée votre singe dans échanger pour une cigarette
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