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Topic: Strange America (Read 240 times) |
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AlienSpaceGuy
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Greetings from outer space
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Strange America
« on: Jun 23rd, 2002, 6:11pm » |
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Strange Americans
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
     
Super Bowl Tradgedy
Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "No."
Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!"
The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"That's really sad," said Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"
"No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral!"
Which is really harder?
Two sisters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church.
At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the more important role.
Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old sister, "Well, you just go ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an Angel!"
The beloved old man. . . (Duh)
There once was an old man who was loved by everyone in the town where he lived.
When he died, they buried him at a scenic location along a river.
A few days later there was a great rain storm and the resulting flood carried the coffin along the river in to the town. The casket flowed down the street past the supermarket and the school all the way towards the pharmacy. It slid right in to the pharmacy and onto the counter.
The lid popped open and the old man sat stratight up and asked the pharmacist:
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"Do you have anything to stop this coffin?"
(Hey - I don't shoot the messenger - I just post 'em!)
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AlienSpaceGuy believes only in scientifically sound methods and hates snake oil vendors.
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