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Topic: The Man, The Wife. The Rat and A Trap (Read 236 times) |
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TerryS
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The Man, The Wife. The Rat and A Trap
« on: May 25th, 2002, 6:06pm » |
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Subject: The Man, The Wife, The Rat and a trap.
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view
mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after
coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an
hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you. Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80!
[The man gives wife dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for
your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks!
[The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for
not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!
The Man turns to his wife and yells,
"For cryin' out loud, can't you just shut up?!"
The officer turns to the woman and asks,
"Ma'am, Does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk." 
*****************************************************
A rat looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife
opening a package. What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover
that it was a rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed
the
warning; "There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Excuse me,
Mr. Rat, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no
consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The rat turned to the pig and told him, "There is a rat trap in the
house,
a rat trap in the house!" "I am so very sorry Mr. Rat," sympathized the
pig, "but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that
you
are in my prayers."
The rat turned to the cow. She said, "Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap. I
am
in grave danger. Duh?"
So the rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the
farmer's rat trap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout
the
house, like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife
rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see that it
was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the
farmer's wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever.
Now
everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer
took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. His
wife's sickness continued so that friends and neighbors came to sit with
her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig. The
farmer's wife did not get well. She died, and so many people came for
her
funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all
of
them to eat.
So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think
that
it does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat trap in the
house, the whole farmyard is at risk.
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> It is only a tiny rosebud,
> A flower of God's design;
> But I cannot unfold the petals
> With these clumsy hands of mine.
> The secret of unfolding flowers
> Is not known to such as I.
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