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Topic: Dog Pet Peeves About Humans (Read 272 times) |
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Greg_A
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Subject: Dog Pet Peeves About Humans
1. When you run away in the middle of a
perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not
funny at all.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN'
DOG YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat
isn't all over every-
thing while you're gone. (Have you noticed that
your toothbrush tastes
a little like cat butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me
check stuff out. Exactly
whose walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your
carpet. Why'd you buy
carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of
your guests. Sorry, but
I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing
yet...idiot.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the
truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
Imbecile.
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we
chew your shit up when you're not home.
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the
yard. Do you realize how
far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised
when I freak out everytime we go back.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You
fooled a dog! What a
proud moment for the top of the food chain,
you nitwit.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on
screwing with us? To my
knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the
visible fence problem!!
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