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Topic: Yet more dirty jokes..... (Read 350 times) |
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AlienSpaceBabe
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A ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a large farm. He asked for and was given a tour.
As he was shown throught the barn, the ventriloquist thought he'd have some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk.
The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the barn to the farmer. "Sam," he shouted, "those creatures are talking! If that little sheep says anything about me, it's a damned lie!"
   ;D ;D ;D
A midget went into a sleeperhouse. None of the girls really wanted to serve him, so finally they drew lots and Lizzy was unlucky and went up to the room with him.
A minute later, there was a loud scream. The Madam and all of the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Lizzy lay on the floor in a dead faint. Standing next to the bed was the midget, nude, with a three foot 'pleasure stick' hanging down and almost touching the floor.
The girls were dumbfounded by the sight. Finally, one of them regained her compusure to say, "Sir, would you mind if we felt it? We've never seen anything like that before."
The midget sighed. "Okay, honey. But only touching. No sucking. I used to be six feet tall."
;D ;D ;D
An elephant was having an awful time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting her near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. She kept swinging her trunk, but the fly was far out of reach.
A little sparrow observed this and suddenly flew down and snipped the horsefly in half with his beak.
"Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "That was suck a relief."
"My pleasure, ma'am," said the sparrow.
"Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there's anything I can ever do for you, dont' hesitate to ask."
The sparrow hesitated. "Well, ma'am--" he said.
"What is it," said the elephant. "You needn't be shy with me."
"Well," said the sparrow, "the truth is that all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck an elephant."
"Go right ahead," said the elephant. "Be my guest!"
The sparrow flew around behind the elephant and becan to fuck away. Up above him, a monkey in the tree watched and began to get very excited. He started to self-abuse. This shook a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting the elephant smack on the head.
"Ouch!" said the elephant.
At which point the sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you, dear?"
;D ;D ;D
from The World's Best Dirty Jokes by Mr. "J"
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