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Topic: Blondes have more fun, don't they? (Read 343 times) |
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AlienSpaceGuy
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Greetings from outer space
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Blondes have more fun, don't they?
« on: Mar 8th, 2002, 10:30am » |
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Blonde + Cellphone = DUH!
A young man wanted to get his beautiful "blonde" wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cellphone.
She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping.
Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun,"he says "how do you like your new phone?"
She replies: "I just love, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell! But there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal Mart?"
The down-and-out Blonde...
A blonde named Barbi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she is in serious financial trouble. She is so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Barbi again prays, "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Barbi still has no luck.
Once again, she prays, "God, have you forgotten me?? I've lost my business, my home and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Barbi is confronted by the voice of God himself - "Barbi, meet me halfway on this... BUY A TICKET!!!"
Speeding blonde
A blonde is driving around in her red sports car and suddenly gets pulled over by the police.
The policeman approaches the car holding the ticket and pen ready and says: "Young lady, you've been driving almost double the speed limit. Give me your name please."
"Hmmph!" - says the blonde looking very irritated "thats just great... And what am I going to be called then?!"
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AlienSpaceGuy believes only in scientifically sound methods and hates snake oil vendors.
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AlienSpaceBabe
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Re: Blondes have more fun, don't they?
« Reply #1 on: Mar 8th, 2002, 12:50pm » |
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**a very handsome, intelligent, funny man sent this to me**
--it may offend almost every ethnic group--
A young blond lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies. "O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"
"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in an adult movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum.
The baby starts crying and the blonde mother exclaims, "Thank God for that!"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"WHEW!" says the girl extremely relieved... "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark!"
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