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Topic: more jokes? i got jokes! (Read 376 times) |
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AlienSpaceBabe
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A man walked into a doctor's office with a pelican on his head.
"You need help immediately," said the doctor.
"I certainly do," said the pelican. "Get this man out from under me."
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You know it's time for a diet when:
You dive into a swimming pool so her friends can go surfing.
You have to apply your makeup with a paint roller.
Weight Watchers demands your resignation.
You step on a pennyweight scale that gives you your fortune and it says, "One at a time, please!"
Your face is so full that you look like you're wearing horn-rimmed contact lenses.
The bus driver asks you to sit on the other side because he wants to make a turn without flipping over.
You're at school in the classroom and turn around and erase the entire blackboard.
They throw puffed rice at your wedding.
You get a hiccup while in your bathing suit...and it looks like someone adjusting a Venetian blind.
You fall down and try to get up, rocking yourself to sleep in the process.
A shipbuilder wants to use you as a model.
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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Phillips:
Your daughter Lisa is having a terrific time at camp. Everyone on the staff thinks she is great. She is very popular with everyone in her cabin. We just wanted you to know how much we appreciate having Lisa at Camp Itchagooy. You can be very proud of her.
Most sincerely,
David Ferriera, Director
Dear Mr Ferriera:
My wife and I were very excited and pleased to hear that lisa was having a fun time at camp. Being popular is very important. We are most proud of Lisa.
We have a daughter at Camp Itchagooy, too. Her name is Christy. It would be very nice of you to let us know how she is doing.
Warmly yours,
RE Phillips, Father
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