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Topic: Good clean fun.... (Read 345 times) |
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Elizabeth
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A very new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate of a military outpost. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, said "General Dinkyhumper."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on."
The sentry said, "Hold it. You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on."
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this: Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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Elizabeth
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The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess.
"And after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn't you feel any qualms? Didn't you feel the slightest pity for him, knowing he was about to die and was wholly unaware of it?"
"Yes, there was a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him."
"When was that?"
"When he asked for the second cup."
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AlienSpaceBabe
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The head of the largest newspaper in the northern hemisphere was contemplating retiring and wanted to pass the newspaper on to one of his three sons. He called them together and informed them of his decision. "Sons, I have decided to retire. Whichever of you three gives me the most shocking headline in three words or less will take over my newspaper."
The oldest replied, "Elvis is alive!" "Nice try, Larry," said the man.
The youngest stated with authority, "Snow in Hell." "Been done before, Moe," said the old man.
The middle child won it with just two words:
"Pope Elopes"
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