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Topic: Post cluster depression (Read 527 times) |
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maria9
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Post cluster depression
« on: Apr 24th, 2004, 11:28pm » |
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Hi,
I just survived my 24th cluster cycle. They started when I was 16 every year for 22 years for 6-8 weeks, then nothing for 5 years, a cycle, and nothing for 4 years until this latest cycle. Just wondering and wanting your opinions here, I feel like I am getting too darn old for this shit. It seems like it takes me longer to recover from it and even when I know that the cycle appears to be over I have some initial elation, followed by some very down days. The hardest thing for me to deal with is not the pain but the lack of sleep night after night. Just curious, do others experience some depression after the clusters are over, perhaps from the sleep deprivation? Or is the depression a result of changes in the brain chemistry from the cluster cycle? Or, are all of the rest of you as happy as clams after a cycle?
Just the ever curious,
Maria
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JDH
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #1 on: Apr 24th, 2004, 11:39pm » |
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Maria,
I'm just the opposite when a cycle ends. I get energized and upbeat when it's over. It's like there's not enough hours in the day to do all I want to do.
During the cycle is when I get depressed and the longer the cycle goes the worse it get's.
Jim
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HypnoticFreddy
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #2 on: Apr 25th, 2004, 12:19am » |
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Certainly lack of sleep can lead and/or contribute to clinical depression.
You may want to try an SSRI anti-depressant like Prozac or Zoloft next CH cycle (or towards the end since they take a month or so to kick in). These are good meds for getting your body clock or sleep cycle adjusted. At least it was for me. However, I tried taking almost every sleeper out there when I was in a cycle and CH's wake you no matter what.
Good luck.
-Scott
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notseinfeld
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #3 on: Apr 25th, 2004, 1:38am » |
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Take heart Maria---you're not chronic like many of us here. When you get in that funk you describe think about those who get NO F*'n break day after day, year after year. That ought to sober and enlighten ya. If that doesn't work, read the old Dan Quayle quarterly for all his ridiculous quotes. 
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Pinkfloyd
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #4 on: Apr 25th, 2004, 2:53pm » |
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on Apr 24th, 2004, 11:28pm, maria9 wrote: Just curious, do others experience some depression after the clusters are over, perhaps from the sleep deprivation? Or is the depression a result of changes in the brain chemistry from the cluster cycle? Or, are all of the rest of you as happy as clams after a cycle?
Just the ever curious,
Maria |
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Maria,
As years went on, I seemed to also take longer to recover. There was a time when between attacks, as well as after the cycle would end, I'd feel invigorated and back on a fast track. I think that as we get older, the attacks and all that go with them, the lack of sleep, life disruption, added pain and stress saps us of our mental and physical energy reserves.
When that first cycle ends, we look back and see what we've lost and what it has cost us. When we look back after the 24th cycle, the list of accumulated devastation is much longer and much more complicated. It's one thing to have missed your child's graduation but when, years later you add your grandchild's graduation to the list, as an example, the wounds are deeper.
It takes us longer to overcome the physical damage and return to full strength than it used to take. Once the physical strength returns and we're able to get back to life as we know it, we're able to move on emotionally. I've read that it's similar to a grieving period we must go through.
Take some vitamins, absorb some sunlight (when it comes out there lol), get in some exercise, and polish up the clubs!!!
PF
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Samantha_Smith
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #5 on: Apr 25th, 2004, 3:47pm » |
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After a cycle I'm just totally wiped out...like a ran an
11,500 mile marathon. It takes a long time for me to get back up and "running". Most of all I live in fear asking myslef, "Is it over? Is it really over? Will it return and when?" The living in fear part afterwards realy takes a toll on me. It's like having your home being broken it and wondering if the robber will come back for more? Then the fear leads into depression.....its a cycle. But eventually the cycle is broken after a few weeks because my body has had enough pain free time to recover.
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maria9
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #6 on: Apr 25th, 2004, 10:15pm » |
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Thanks all of you for your replies, as a health care professional I can definately say that this is not the worst disease you could have. After all we have heard time and time again on this sight, this will not kill you, and that which will not kill you you will ultimately make you stronger. But, and here is a big but here, when you are older and reach that middle agie thing, it is going to get more difficult to bounce back after a CH attack like you could when you are 20 or 30.
Sincerely wishing you all pain free days and nights,
Maria
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Giuliano
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #7 on: Apr 26th, 2004, 9:03am » |
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From an epysodic's one...This is another hidden side of this shit sick....Pain is main but for sure the cycle mofidy yourself inside..Personally it's not the fear to the next bout or attackeven though it's basically here.
Depression comes over me since I cannot deal during the cycle as I do normally.Life breaks since the brain and cluster says your brain..be quiet guy .things to survive ,before!Then,the knowledge people work,deal,with you cannot unertstand...
Hi
Go over it.
Giuly
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thomas
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #8 on: Apr 26th, 2004, 10:00am » |
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I always go through about a month or two of depression, after a cycle.
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echo
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #9 on: Apr 26th, 2004, 10:31am » |
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Mine never ends -- no wonder I'm so fucking depressed.
Looking forward to the dirt nap echo..
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Karla
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #10 on: Apr 26th, 2004, 12:28pm » |
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Being chronic I was depressed 24/7. I am on a good antidepressent that has helped do miricles in that department.
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Karla
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dougW
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #11 on: Apr 26th, 2004, 1:31pm » |
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IMHO, there are 2 forces at work in what I like to call the Post-Cluster Syndrome, both chemical and psychological. I've always been episodic and everyone I know is episodic so this likely does not apply to chronics.
As each of us adapt and survive 4 to 10 week clusters our physiology and psyche go through hell. We manage with the sleep depravation and the total disruption to our daily lives. But we do survive. Science is just beginning to understand the neuro-chemical changes involved in clusters, how our body reacts and responds. From the psych perspective studies have looked at pain management, co-existing psych disorders and severe depression (suicide); quality of life is been assessed and strategies to cope may be forthcoming.
Recall your past cycles. When they start we do the "damn here we go again" thing. When it ends and you finally get a good night sleep and know it's over elation, excitement and great joy set in. This lasts for a while as "normality" returns. We examine ourselves and realize how little control we had over the cycle, how it affected our lives and those close to us, the fear (anxiety) of the next bout is ever present in our subconscious. We managed to abort some attacks, and sometimes believe we found a preventative to end the cycle. Did we or was it natural remission? How do we know? Only by waiting for the next cycle and trying all over again. Do we stop our preventive meds now? What are the long-term effects of the abortive or preventatives? Ever feel like a hamster stuck on the wheel? So many questions and so few real answers.
Similar to "brain-washing" or torture, we never know when or if IT will be back or how severe it will be next time. This has been described as "learned helplessness". It is truly depressing to be pain free yet go through the motions of preparing for the next cycle. Stock pile your meds, fill your O2 tanks, investigate new treatment options (read the .com and .org boards) and consult with your Docs. Are we planning for the worst or the best? Or do we choose denial, it won't happen to me again.
I guess I'm lucky, I've managed a degree of "control" over my twice a year cycles over 28 years. I work at a busy practice and maintain a good life during and between cycles. I've come to accept that the clusters will do as they will and I celebrate the small victories I gain during the attacks.
I truly believe most of us go through a "down period" post-cycle. How we recognize it, accept it and deal with it may be an integral part of our pain free lives and how we cope with the next cycle.
OK, I'm out of cycle now and I"m not going to think about this anymore!
Sleep well everyone.
Doug
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| « Last Edit: Apr 26th, 2004, 5:13pm by dougW » |
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Bob_Johnson
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #12 on: Apr 26th, 2004, 2:59pm » |
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You are on target about the source: alteration of brain chemistry and/or exhaustion. Chronic tiredness has been clearly linked to depression, often found in workers who are on a rotation where sleep is poor.
IF your depression clears spontaneously within 6 to 8 weeks, I'd not bother trying an anti-depressant for it takes about that long before you can see full effects and make dosing adjustments (which is rather common).
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sandie99
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #13 on: Apr 27th, 2004, 5:17am » |
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I get depressed during the cycle. 
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maria9
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #14 on: Apr 28th, 2004, 11:00pm » |
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Thanks so much for all of your replies,
It has been almost a month now and I am beyond the 120+ headaches that happened in that last 7 week cycle and I am feeling good now. I do have to say at 47 years old, this does take a toll on your body and it does take longer to recover than when you were younger. But thanks again for those of you who replied and made me feel that this is normal for a clusterhead.
Hey all, wishing you pain free days and nights,
Maria
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"All you have to do is the best you can. A high wave comes, a crashing wave comes, a gentle swell follows. Whatever comes, stay in your boat. And enjoy the ride. And row." Peggy Noonan
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maokitty
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #15 on: Apr 29th, 2004, 9:47pm » |
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I am too busy trying to clean up the total mess my house has become from CH habits - my stagger around at 3:00 am flinging towels on the floor from hot showers that don't work, ice cubes which have fallen on the floor and melted during my myriad of cold water sipping, yards or plastic tube flung about the place after it was used fresh from the freezer for O2 therapy..........
Just don't have the energy to clean when I am dead from CH pain. I usually do a good general clean to get back on targe. It works every time
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You can sympathize you get tension headaches? Yeah kiss my butt!
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maria9
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #16 on: Apr 29th, 2004, 11:10pm » |
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Hey Meokitty,
Welcome aboard. I have a feeling you will fit right in here. Sorry that you had to join us, but if you have clusters you have come to the right place.
Maria
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"All you have to do is the best you can. A high wave comes, a crashing wave comes, a gentle swell follows. Whatever comes, stay in your boat. And enjoy the ride. And row." Peggy Noonan
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jonny
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #17 on: Apr 30th, 2004, 5:55pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2004, 1:31pm, dougW wrote:| Recall your past cycles. When they start we do the "damn here we go again" thing. |
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Not ever having to utter the above phrase is a blessing to this chronic, I dont live in fear of the beast, ever. I know he will always be there. You episodics think chronics have it way worse, your partly right, the "Oh my god" fear is one thing I dont have. Being chronic from the start I dont know how you go months or years PF and then have to deal again, Now that is fear!!
How I deal is just say "Ok Fucker, your here so get out your sword and ill get mine (Meds) may the toughest SOB win".......I slay the fuck way more times than he gets me
Depression?.........Im on Lithium....LMMFAO
......................................jonny
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maria9
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Re: Post cluster depression
« Reply #18 on: May 1st, 2004, 8:48pm » |
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hey Looky here, it is a case of the chronics against the episodics, well I am here to say both suck, no matter how you look at it, and hopefully some day there will be a cure for what ails us both the chronics and episodics. I still hold out for that hope for all of us. For all, sleep well tonight?, OK?
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"All you have to do is the best you can. A high wave comes, a crashing wave comes, a gentle swell follows. Whatever comes, stay in your boat. And enjoy the ride. And row." Peggy Noonan
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