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Topic: Need another critique (Read 332 times) |
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athos
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Need another critique
« on: Dec 9th, 2003, 10:32pm » |
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here is an ad that I just finished for a national golf mag...... my first national ad!!!!
Let me know what you think....
BTW the memberships are only $35,000 for a life time and 4,300 annaul dues... Hell that is a lot of damn money for Golf...
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| « Last Edit: Dec 9th, 2003, 10:33pm by athos » |
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #1 on: Dec 9th, 2003, 10:59pm » |
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Looks great, Athos!!! Good job!
Nice layout. Appealing photo. Simple, to the point.
Chuck
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grumpett
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #2 on: Dec 9th, 2003, 11:11pm » |
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Well, I don't know alot about advertizing, But...... If I had that kinda money to play golf, I would certanly chose that one. But then again, What do I know.
Any thing on sports bars?
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Charlie
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #3 on: Dec 9th, 2003, 11:16pm » |
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Sign me up.
I'll knock over 835 gas stations for a down payment
Looks great from here. Quiet too
Charlie
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Little Deb
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #4 on: Dec 9th, 2003, 11:19pm » |
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Hi. Don't know you, but since you asked for general opinions... can I tell you my 2 cents??
hhmmmm....clean desert mountain air...
i am not sure desert air is clean.....
how about just...clean mountain air...
but if you want all of it, shouldn't there be a comma after clean? or a slash between desert/mountain, cause desert isn't an adjective of mountain. i don't think.
next: the paragraph "The quality......
I'm thinking it is too long of a sentence. How about:
The quality atmosphere and service you would expect at a private golf club. This exclusive, gated, master-planned community centers around an Arnold Palmer Signature Golf Course and is waiting for you. Come join us at The Refuge Golf Club.
And at the bottom, shouldn't there be a comma between Lake Havasu and Arizona??
ok, shutting up now.....little deb
All the rest looks AWESOME!!!!!!
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| « Last Edit: Dec 9th, 2003, 11:20pm by Little Deb » |
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cootie
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #5 on: Dec 9th, 2003, 11:29pm » |
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Very nicely done....I like it !!!! Sending in my membership now......breakin out the monopoly money ! I doubt I'd meet there criteria Pam 
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thomas
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #6 on: Dec 10th, 2003, 9:05am » |
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Looks good, when's our tee-time? 
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athos
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Re: Need another critique
« Reply #7 on: Dec 10th, 2003, 10:17am » |
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Thanks for the feedback......
I especially appreciate your comments Little Deb.... I like people being critical of my work.... help me to be better.
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