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Topic: What is real pain? (Read 324 times) |
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DaveHar
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What is real pain?
« on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 3:50am » |
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To those of you that know Leesa and I, you know our past on this board. You know what we went through to get to where we are now and the hardships we have endured as well as the good times though the hardships have been soo many more.
I pose this question out there because dealing with the beast I thought I knew what real pain was. I WAS WRONG.
I took Leesa and Mychael down to her friends house on Wed. to visit and I am to join them with the other two boys the Wed. before "T" day. I knew it would be hard as this is the first time we have been apart since we moved in together. I just never realized how hard and how painful it is to be away from the ones you LOVE.
I have come to realize that the pain I feel inside is much worse then any CH. It is a pain I never wish on anyone. YES, we are going to be together soon but the thought of her being away from me like this is like having 100 CHes all at the same time.
I know most of you think this is real sappy and that I am a fool and I could care less. I hurt and I am turning to the only place I know of right now to let go of some of this pain. Leesa has been the one thing in my life that has made a diffrence. She has been the one constant in my life that has made me feel that I do have a reason to live and that I can LOVE a person like you read about in books or hear in songs. She has given me a new life and a new drive to continue on when everyone else says to give up. She has given me more then anyone else in this world has ever given me. She has given me a reason to trust in one person and not a worry that I will get stabbed in the back for it yet again.
I do not have words enough to express the pain and hurt I feel, and at the same time the overwhelming amount of Love I have over this beautiful woman. The only thing I can say is:
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pubgirl
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Dave
Now that really has made me cry.
What a wonderful man you are, it sounds like you deserve each other.
Wendy
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suzy617
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #2 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 4:42am » |
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Yes Dave, I agree. It is hard to be away from the one you love but hey, you still have each other and sometimes anticipation is a good thing. 
I hope you enjoy your T Day....
Suzy
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Peppermint
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Work it out baby!
 
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #3 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 4:49am » |
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very Nice.
Aww Suzy.... sounds like love to me.. 
Love is in the Air!   .....
PepMeister
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Carve your name on hearts, and not on marble. - Charles H. Spurgeon
FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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Carl_D
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Man, it is awesome that you have someone to see you through the emotional pain. It is impossible for anyone to really know what we go through, but when we do find someone like that, it is like a gem in a rough quarry.
As for me and the pain, it has transformed inside of me. I told my bass player Doc one night after a nice 1 hour visit at level 10 from the CH beast, "There is so much violence inside of me that I hold in." It is something that no one deserves, as far as taking out my emotions on others and hurting them. Instead, I am the opposite. I am the peacemake, the diplomat, and usually the guy who does everything to prevent a war among others.
I take my rage out on my music. I take my pain out on writing. Right now I am at a place in my life where I don't really have anyone I can open up to. I don't have a confidante. Hell, to pretty much everyone around me, I am just the freek.
I have to say, I think the easy part of dealing with Cluster Headaches is the brutality of the physical pain itself. The worst and hardest part is the emotional pain that no matter how much time passes, never goes away.
Peace,
Carl D
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sandie99
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #5 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 8:46am » |
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That's love, actually.... 
Best wishes & PFdays,
sandie99
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"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
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catlind
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #6 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 9:19am » |
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Dave,
It is neither foolish nor sappy. I know that pain all too well. Everytime Clark deploys it leaves me with a fear and pain that is far and above CH.
Love sees you through it, and when you are together again make sure you don't ever take each other for granted. The day will come when there is no turning back (many many years from now I hope) so be sure you have nothing left unsaid, and no regrets.
Sometimes a small seperation is all it takes to remind you to tell the one you love just how much they mean to you.
Cat
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sherryberry
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #7 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 12:11am » |
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That is the pain that makes it hard to breathe... the reason people think that the heart is involved in love is because of the way the center of your being squeezes hard when the immensity of that crushing wave we call love surges through you.
I hope that you both feel that same way for each other, because that, my friend is what everyone is searching for. Hold on to it with both hands and cherish it.
I am one of the luckiest people in the world because I have it and it sounds like you two have it too. And when you have it, no hardships or failures or other pain matter. No money? It doesn't matter. It is the one thing you CAN take with you...
You and Leesa are one of the richest couples in the world and as long as you both feel that way, no one can take it away from you!
And no matter what happens... you will always have had the BEST thing in life.
Sherry
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Happiness is a choice. Choose wisely.
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Callico
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #8 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 12:22am » |
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Dave,
You and Leesa are two people who are really blessed. Very few people find someone who will stay with them through the rough times as well as the smooth. I am glad for you, and wish you very many more years.
I, too, am so blessed and my heart goes out to others who don't have that kind of love either to give or to receive. God bless you both.
Jerry
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cootie
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #9 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 2:48am » |
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That was sa-weet Dave ! Me and Brad have ta slpit up for the holidays cuz both parents plan dinner ect at the same time and won't change (my parents are alone if I don't go).......it's starting to get depressing for me.......big time........it doesn't seem fair in a way we have to do it this way !! Hope you have a great holiday together !! Pam seperated by inlaws and such
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Jackie
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #10 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 7:33am » |
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Hi Dave....
Remember the chat we had one time.....you'll make it 
Only 3 more sleeps....not long now.
Jacks 
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KingOfPain
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #11 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 7:38am » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2003, 3:50am, DaveHar wrote:To those of you that know Leesa and I, you know our past on this board. You know what we went through to get to where we are now and the hardships we have endured as well as the good times though the hardships have been soo many more.
I pose this question out there because dealing with the beast I thought I knew what real pain was. I WAS WRONG.
I took Leesa and Mychael down to her friends house on Wed. to visit and I am to join them with the other two boys the Wed. before "T" day. I knew it would be hard as this is the first time we have been apart since we moved in together. I just never realized how hard and how painful it is to be away from the ones you LOVE.
I have come to realize that the pain I feel inside is much worse then any CH. It is a pain I never wish on anyone. YES, we are going to be together soon but the thought of her being away from me like this is like having 100 CHes all at the same time.
I know most of you think this is real sappy and that I am a fool and I could care less. I hurt and I am turning to the only place I know of right now to let go of some of this pain. Leesa has been the one thing in my life that has made a diffrence. She has been the one constant in my life that has made me feel that I do have a reason to live and that I can LOVE a person like you read about in books or hear in songs. She has given me a new life and a new drive to continue on when everyone else says to give up. She has given me more then anyone else in this world has ever given me. She has given me a reason to trust in one person and not a worry that I will get stabbed in the back for it yet again.
I do not have words enough to express the pain and hurt I feel, and at the same time the overwhelming amount of Love I have over this beautiful woman. The only thing I can say is:
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I can't add anything right now.
I am too moved.
KOP
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So much respect to a fellow Clusterhead for opening up.
Damn, it gives me hope to see people be so honest.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 23rd, 2003, 7:43am by KingOfPain » |
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We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
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Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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jonny
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Leesa,
Take him back before I slap the sappy out of him damn it!!!
Hang in there Dave dude!
..........................................jonny
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kim
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #13 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 12:03pm » |
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Just think of the happiness you will experience upon seeing her again The times of pain remind us of how rich we really are.
That's what it's all about my friend***
Well wishes to you and yours
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DaveHar
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Proud American, Proud Servicemember, CH Fighter
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #14 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 6:31pm » |
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Well tonight was the first night I have had to deal with a CH without any support since Leesa. Hell has no furry like the beast and he gives you his very best when he knows he has the advantage. But the one thing he forgot is I have my family here and yet again they have shown what support is all about.
Thank you all for being there. Trex and O2 are a God send but knowing that you have family like this is even better. Like you said Jackie, only 3 more sleeps and I'll be back in her arms.
Thank you all for letting me ramble and whine a little, and thank you all for just being true to what this board is all about------SUPPORT------FAMILY-----FRIENDS!!!!!!
Dave
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cathy
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Re: What is real pain?
« Reply #15 on: Nov 23rd, 2003, 6:44pm » |
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Dave your first post was beautiful....That is LOVE...
Im sorry you've been hit tonight and im sure Leesa was with you spiritually if not physically....hang in there PF vibes to help you through the next 3 sleeps.
-SUPPORT------FAMILY-----FRIENDS!!!!!!
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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