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Topic: New Meds!! (Read 334 times) |
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Donna_D.
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH needs volunteers
 
 
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Posts: 2618
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These are the new meds for women...
D A M N I T O L :
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T :
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N :
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O :
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L :
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R :
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers (women's dosage is 1/4 that of men's).
M E N I C I L L I N :
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to touch lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... Can we get naked now?.."
B U Y A G R A :
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N :
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T :
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T :
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Donna D
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ClusterChuck
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
The BEAST rises again, and again, and again, and .
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Posts: 3181
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Re: New Meds!!
« Reply #1 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 2:14am » |
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Hrumph!
(Typical wimmin crap!)
 
Chuck
PS: I won't tell you that I am going to copy and paste that to email and sending it to friends and family.
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
Thomas Fuller
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Mikey
New Board Hall of Famer
Rock till ya Drop and DON'T mess with the FAM!!!!!
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Posts: 585
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Re: New Meds!!
« Reply #2 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 2:32am » |
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My wife better not ever take the BUYAGRA, or slip me the NAGAMENT, or she would have to give me the FLIPITOR before i would kill somebody....LMAO!!!!
Mikey, ..... 
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| « Last Edit: Nov 22nd, 2003, 2:35am by Mikey » |
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I love to ROCK very HARD!!!
CHRONIC and going crazy!! Want to come too?
Hope for PFDAN, peace and safety to you all!!
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: New Meds!!
« Reply #3 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 8:51am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Kirk
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
VINIMUS, VIDIMUS, DOLAVIMUS
  
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Posts: 1914
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Re: New Meds!!
« Reply #4 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 2:19pm » |
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Donna my sweet. You are a twisted, evil person and I for one am glad I know you.
May the Lord bless and keep you. Away from me.
TTFN
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BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Hugs to ya
Gender:
Posts: 5164
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Re: New Meds!!
« Reply #5 on: Nov 22nd, 2003, 2:31pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2003, 2:19pm, Kirk wrote:Donna my sweet. You are a twisted, evil person and I for one am glad I know you.
TTFN |
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Donna, you are my EVIL twin and the tears are streaming down my face from laughing.... Thanks I needed this today....
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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