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Topic: I witnessed a miracle. (Read 1070 times) |
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brain_cramps
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I witnessed a miracle.
« on: Oct 21st, 2003, 11:48pm » |
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This thread was named "Wish my news could be better...", but I was asked to change the name. Hope this is a little more fitting.
Also the first 40 posts are about events relating to a sudden "downturn" in my dad's health.
#41 was where things turned around.
Hope this makes sense. (thx fubar  )
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Wish my news could be better…
But today has been a rough day (understatement of a lifetime)
My dad collapsed on Sunday afternoon and was taken to emergency. The effects of the chemo was finally catching up to him. At first, it was thought there was a blood-clot in his lung. He had already decided that he didn’t want to be kept alive by a respirator or to be revived if his heart quit.
Yesterday after work, I went there and talked with him and my mom. He seemed a little weak and a little drugged-up, but otherwise fine. We talked about work, football, etc… It seemed like I would be able to talk to him again today, tomorrow, and the next day. Looking back, I wish we had discussed more than the trivial things we did.
At 3:15 this morning, I got a call from my mom. He had been transferred to ICU. We went down there as soon as possible. He was very heavily sedated. Apparently overnight he had difficulty breathing and had to be put on a respirator. Eventually, his kidneys failed.
Around noon, mom, 2 of my brothers and I met with the doctor. We were told that there wasn’t much that could be done. The decision was made to leave him on life support until my two brothers from Calgary arrived. We called them and they left as soon as possible.
Later in the day, the sedation began to wear off a bit. He was still VERY groggy, but could recognize us and his surroundings. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was to look him in the eye, knowing that decision we’d already made. (which he made originally)
I would never wish that on anyone.
Sometime tomorrow, it will be final. After 18 months of fighting cancer, he will finally rest.
Anyways…
Every kid thinks his dad is as strong, as tough, as cool as Superman. The only thing is ……. Superman doesn’t die.
He was a good hockey player. He had a try-out with the Detroit Red-Wings of the NHL in the late 40s, but kept with his job at Canadian General Electric. He stayed with that company for more than 30 years before being squeezed out in a merger.
He was a great hockey coach. He gave endlessly to neighborhood kids, teaching them the skills he knew so well.
He raised 5 boys that never got into any (serious) trouble.
He loved the same woman for 49 years. Unconditionally.
He would drive us kids hundreds of miles to go skiing and sit on the deck in the cold watching because he didn’t ski himself. Never complaining.
He would drive long hours every summer to make sure we had long trips. From Saskatchewan, it is a long drive to California, to the Great Lakes, to the west coast.
He would take us camping whenever possible. He bought a cabin at the lake to relax at, even though it couldn’t be too relaxing with 5 boys running around.
He broke up hundreds of fights that come with having 5 sons. He would discipline us whenever we got out of line.
He would go out of his way to make sure that we had whatever was needed. He turned down many promotions, not wanting to uproot the family and move them across the country. Saskatoon was home, because it was just the right size. Not too big, not too small. A great place to raise a family.
He would work endlessly at the church in his later years.
He was the best dad in the world and nobody will ever be able to change my mind about that.
Thanks for everything dad and I hope your suffering is finally over and what comes next for you is even better than you imagine. You earned it.
grant 
and Thanks to all of you for your support, prayers, vibes and everything else! 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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| « Last Edit: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:04pm by brain_cramps » |
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KingOfPain
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #1 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 12:00am » |
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Grant,
That is the most heartfelt,
touching post I have
ever read.
My thoughts & prayers are
with you & your family at
this most difficult time.
I don't know what else to
say, words escape me now.
Your friend always,
Steve
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| « Last Edit: Oct 22nd, 2003, 12:09am by KingOfPain » |
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We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
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Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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Tara Ann
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #2 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 12:06am » |
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Grant reading your post brought tears to my eyes. You should not regret not talking about "trivial things" with your father yesterday because those are the best conversations sometimes. I remember watching my grandfather pass away and those last few "trivial" conversations were the best conversations in a way. I remember the day my mother died before she left my house her fateful day we just lounged around my house and chatted about "nothing" but it was great! If you had known that was going to be the last conversation with your father it would have of ccourse not have been an enjoyable conversation and it would have been awkward and unenjoyable....how much better it will be to look back at a "normal" conversation with your father. You know what I'm trying to say grant? I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and if you ever need to talk you just give me a shout. There is nothing I can say to help you through this difficult time cause I was in your similar shoes not to long ago myself, but you just remember this is NOT the time to be by yourself, this is the time to surround yourself with your friends and family and lean on eachother.
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CathiP
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #3 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 12:07am » |
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Grant, your dad is lucky he has you, as well. Your tribute is wonderful, touching and loving....and it, too, is a testament of your Dad's love. My thoughts will be with you, tonight, tomorrow, and throughout this terribly sad time.
This one is in hands far bigger than ours.
My heart, and my hopes go out to you and your family.
I'll be here if you need me...
Fondly, Cathi
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #4 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 12:07am » |
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Grant, my heart goes out to you. And of course prayers.
That was a beautiful post you just posted. One of the most heartfelt I have ever read. Keep all those good thoughts and memories with you. As long as you have those, he will still be with you.
I don't know what else I can say, but you have my support and prayers. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Remember, your family's decision is, as you said, HIS decision. It is a hard one to make, but it is probably the right one, at this point. He needs the release, and all of your family's support and love. Make sure you tell him over and over how much you love him and appreciate all he has done for you.
Chuck
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andy
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #5 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 12:20am » |
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Grant, sorry about your dad.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
We are here for you if you need us.
......andy
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The mad viking
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #7 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 2:51am » |
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Grant,
My vibes and prayers to you and your family.
Take care friend
Svenn
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suzy617
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #8 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 3:30am » |
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Dear Grant,
So very sorry for the pain your family is going thru right now. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you and your Dad.
Suzy
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BarbaraD
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #9 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 4:17am » |
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Grant,
Your post was the most heartfelt I've ever read. My prayers are with you. We're here for you.
BD
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ave
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #10 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 4:22am » |
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Grant, Your tribute was very moving. I know from experience what you are going through.
I am thinking of you and your family. and wish you all the spiritual support you need in this difficult time.
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Woobie
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #11 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 5:56am » |
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I'm feeling your pain.. Grant. You wrote a beautiful post! I will be thinking about you today. God bless you!
tina
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Melissa
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #12 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 6:27am » |
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Grant,
I know this is a very emotional time for you and you probably wrote the lovely words of your dad with tears in your eyes. Just know you are not alone in this, your family here, is here for you. We understand if you'll be away for awhile or if you just want to ramble. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
love,
melissa
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #13 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 6:41am » |
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Grant,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. It sounds like your father was a wonderful man. A trait that has been passed on.
Diddo about the conversation. A natural chat in these circumstances convey our feelings and emotions without them being openly discussed. (know what I mean)
Your dads Pain Free days are on there way.
Thinking of you
Turts
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #14 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 6:46am » |
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*hugs*
I'm sorry to hear this Grant.
If you need anything at all, let us know. Even if it just an ear to listen.
Lots of love,
april
aka ~Juvy
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #15 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 7:44am » |
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Grant,
Sorry to hear it man. Wish there was something I could say to make things better.
I've been through this and I'm not going to say I know how you feel 'cause nobody does but I know how tough this is on a family and we're here for you when you need us.
Take care and try and be there for your mom,
Jim
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #16 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 8:06am » |
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So sorry to hear of your difficult day ahead. I will be praying for you and your family. May God be with you and give you peace and comfort during this time. Love, Karla
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thomas
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #17 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 8:11am » |
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My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. 
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echo
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #18 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 8:22am » |
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Sorry to hear of the pending situation Grant. I can relate to what you are going through these last few days.
When it ends your dad will no longer be in pain, play a daily game of hockey, and score continual hat tricks while waiting for his mate, and watching his 5 sons get on with their lives.
Take care Grant.
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #19 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:11am » |
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Grant......having been where you are now, I would like to tell you what my sisters and I experienced when our Mom died 5 years ago.
When we knew that the end was near, we demanded from a negative doctor that we get permission to call in Hospice. It was the smartest thing we have ever done. They were there very quickly. They made Mom more comfortable and were all that kept my sisters and me sane at the time. They were there for all of us.....and absolute angels.
They would probably tell you and your family to sit around your dads bed and talk about the good old times, maybe even read him your post, sing together if you've ever done that as a family, remember silly things, tell him and the others how much you love them all. Forgive each other if there's a reason (out loud). Just talk everything out. And when he trys to hang on because he thinks his family still needs his protection and he fights and hangs on harder, tell him you are all OK now thanks to him, and it is OK to go.
You still have time.....he can probably hear you when you think he can't.
You will never know how much of a comfort this can be later on. And it makes him feel much better, believe it please.......I've lived it and am so thankful.
My heart and my prayers are with you and your family.
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tsayswhy
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #20 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:18am » |
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Grant
your in my prayers
tari
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| « Last Edit: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:19am by tsayswhy » |
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Miklos
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Re: Wish my news could be better?
« Reply #21 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:26am » |
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Sorry to hear this. Lost my Dad many years ago in a similar way. It is really tough.
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ZAIRA
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #22 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:40am » |
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Grant , I’m so sad, I don’t know what to write you.
I hate to hear that your dad suffers in this way. I would like to help you in some way but from here it sounds impossible. My heart goes out for you, your family are still in my prayers.
Be strong.
Zaira 
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BruceD
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #23 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:41am » |
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Grant,
Your post was one of the most heartfelt messages that I've ever read. Just reading it left me with that lump-in-the-throat feeling that words just cannot express. You and your whole family are in my thoughts & prayers as you go through this difficult time.
Blessings
BruceD
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Re: Wish my news could be better…
« Reply #24 on: Oct 22nd, 2003, 9:45am » |
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Grant,
That is a beautiful tribute to your Dad. Bless your heart....these are very difficult days and my thoughts are with you all. Someone once told me that God did not promise us life without pain but he did promise that there would be sunshine after the storm. That is hard to think about when your heart is breaking but it did turn out to be true. We'll continue to hold you close.
Peace to you and your family, Grant.
Our love to you and yours,
Jackie
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