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Topic: my wife (Read 465 times) |
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samk
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hi im sam tara ann husband she seams to be having a ruff day i dont no what todo to help her any sugestions from any one ty sam
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Margi
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: my wife
« Reply #1 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 1:38pm » |
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Hi Sam,
If you mean that she's having attack after attack, there's not much you can do for her but bring her ice packs (if ice helps her), cold water, and give her some privacy.
Is that what you mean by her having a rough time?
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samk
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Re: my wife
« Reply #2 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 1:55pm » |
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thankyou margi ya that what i meant by a ruff time
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Carla_Comiter
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Dear Sam,
Does she have her meds? Is there any prescription that needs refilled?
Provide her with dark, quiet, privacy--cancel any social plans if necessary. Give her as much time as she needs. Make sure she knows that you are in the marriage for better or worse, in sickness and in health (tell her later when she feels better.)
Pray.
Make sure she knows that you know that behavior like pacing, moaning, head banging, eye gouging, etc., is part of the CH syndrome and you do not consider her to be crazy or a freak if she does these things.
Keep in touch with us.
Kudos for asking.
Carla
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jonny
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Or turn all the lights on and blast heavy metal.....thats what works for me.
Ask your wife WHAT she needs and do it.
..................................jonny
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Cerberus
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Re: my wife
« Reply #5 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 2:34pm » |
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What they said.....
PFDANFTA&F,
Ramon
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Tim_w
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Re: my wife
« Reply #6 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 2:55pm » |
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Give her her space during the atack. 
And hold her tight after 
Hope She finds some pain free time soon!
Timw
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hopefull
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Re: my wife
« Reply #7 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 3:21pm » |
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True, only she can tell you what she needs......be sure to listen.....and if she yells at you know it's the CH not her!
And ask when it's over next time what you can do ....
sometimes just being in the same room not saying anything just being there helps.....
or keeping the rest of the world out....
she'll let you know if you ask...
Good Luck to you both
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Georgia
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My husband
« Reply #8 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 3:42pm » |
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My husband posted this a few months ago for a woman who was watching her husband suffer through attack after attack. I thought it might help you as well.
"I applaud yer efforts. They have been rewarded by bringin you here. You need to read all of the information at this site and the OUCH site. There is a way to manage his pain at these sites. He will have to decide the route(s).
Be patient! I do not say that lightly. Both my wife and I have Clusterheadaches. The "miracles" here take time. Give each new technique/substance time to work. You are looking for long range solutions for what may be a life long syndrome.
Clusters are not spectator sports. There will come a time when you just can't "do" anything...but let it run it's course. After listening to my Georgia wail and thrash in pain in the bathroom and she rounds the corner looking beaten and desperate crying hysterically "make it stop?".............words fail.....but I'm on..........I do neck rubs, ice packs, force her to get on and stay on the O2....hold her up as I force her to run in place.....not much talking....make sure she knows how many meds she has already taken....inside the Cluster, 5 minutes seems like an hour. When she's convinced her veins are popping out or her eye is bleeding or her head has caved or swollen twice it's size....I reassure her that they aren't.
You must stay calm in the knowledge that it will pass and will do no permanent damage. You must transcend the moment....for his sake.
You will find a lot of "alternative" medicines and techniques. Many will come with iron clad guarantees to work. I don't discourage trying any of them like some folks here. That which works for him....works for him....one of the supreme curses of CH is that it doesn't respond the same way to the same things for all sufferers. Again...be patient.
There are doctors that know CH and can help. Few doctors are trained in CH. I just went to a Neurologist for an injury unrelated to CH and when I questioned him about Clusters he confidently claimed to be treating some CHers and mentioned a number of drugs he uses which many people here have reported to be useless against them....even harmful. I pity his patients. "
Stay strong
Walk in the sunshine
den
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cathy
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Re: my wife
« Reply #9 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 3:47pm » |
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Sam tell her we luv her and she is being sent vibes from all her family at clusterville....
PF vibes coming ...............
Cathy
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Ree
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Re: my wife
« Reply #10 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 7:20pm » |
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Tell her that all of her friends at CH.com are rooting for her. She is such a wonderful friend to so many of her and she really needs to know that we are here for her also. She probably could just use a little patience from all of her family and friends there near you. It isnt easy to go through these headaches and people find it hard to believe that you can actually be in that much pain. No one gets it except supports like you and I Sam. Ones that love their partner so much that you would cry out to strangers on the internet and do anything for some help.... Well we arent strangers here anymore. We are your family too... Give Tara a big hug and kiss from me......... love to you Ree
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Prense
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Re: my wife
« Reply #11 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 7:24pm » |
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on Sep 20th, 2003, 2:24pm, jonny wrote:
Ask your wife WHAT she needs and do it.
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Absolutely! She holds the answer to that...only her.
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Charlie
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Re: my wife
« Reply #12 on: Sep 21st, 2003, 3:41am » |
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Welcome. At least this is one place where everyone truly understands exactly what your wife is feeling. For me, dark, deathly quiet, and cool were my thing. I liked to sit at a kitchen chair for my contortions. I got so I didn't pace anyway but I doubt anyone would enjoy my antics.
Here are two helpful links:
The first is to a description of this disorder that does a wonderful job explaining to families, friends and employers what cluster headaches are and that they have little to do with what is thought of as a “headache.” The second is to a technique learned from a neurologist that works well for me and others.
http://www.ouch-uk.org/ch/note_colleagues.cfm
http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/
Let us know how you make out and stick around. You'll find some good ideas.
Charlie
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stevegeebe
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Re: my wife
« Reply #13 on: Sep 21st, 2003, 3:53am » |
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Sam,
You're doing it.
My wife asks me if I need anything and leaves me alone. Could not ask for more.
Steve G
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samk
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gone fishing
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Re: my wife
« Reply #14 on: Sep 21st, 2003, 11:15am » |
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thank you everyone for your ideas and your caring. i am just so aggrivated with these headaches lately the doctor is no help. i hope everyone has a good day.
sam
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Prense
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Re: my wife
« Reply #15 on: Sep 21st, 2003, 11:21am » |
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I have been aggrivated with docs, etc. for the past three years and aggrivated with the HAs for the past 10 years...finally I am making some progress. It will get better! It takes alot of determination from both of you, but there are dividends in the end.
Hang in there!
Chris
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TxBasslady
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Re: my wife
« Reply #16 on: Sep 21st, 2003, 11:30am » |
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Morning to you , Sam
Hope Tara is better today.
My husband is alot like you. Wants to do something, but is always at a loss as to what it is. Hang in there, sweetie.
BTW...awful nice of you to come here and post when things got tough. So much support and love here. And your wife is one that is here alot. She has given lots of support....I have read all the threads. You both are lucky to have each other.
Sending lotz of pf vibes to you and Tara ann....... 
Jean
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jonny
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on Sep 21st, 2003, 11:15am, samk wrote:| i am just so aggrivated with these headaches lately |
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Just thank God or whoever that you dont have them, Sam.
Cause aggrivation would be the least of your worries.
..................................jonny
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CathiP
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Awwww, doggonit, Sam! Please let Tara know I miss her, and I look forward to her getting past this! it WILL pass, Sam.....
Seems I remember, she doesn't get to see her Neuro till Jan? Consider getting her in NOW, having her get hit, while waiting for the Neuro to "find a cancellation". If she is in his/her waiting room, getting hit, they just might accomodate you.
At the very least, I know a lot of us are sending vibes, and I KNOW you are taking excellent care of her as well as the kids.....keep yourself healthy, and ride this storm out with her.....again, it WILL pass....
So sorry you guys are going thru such tough times.....
Cathi
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Tara Ann
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Re: my wife
« Reply #19 on: Sep 21st, 2003, 2:48pm » |
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Awww I gotta go thank my hubby for posting here....I've been asking him to check out ch.com for awhile now (but he's not really into the net alot, mostly just plays cribbage online or talks to his buddies lol)
And of course thank you all for welcoming him so warmly and giving him advice, and for all the well wishes to me. And great advice you all gave (as always!  )
I usually come online some in between attacks to get distracted but I was fighting a damn migraine and a nasty headcold too, I was soo naseous (yuck!). Couldn't stand looking at the pc screen (it hurt my head) I'm still having a tough time with the CH but the migraine seems to almost be gone (knock on wood) but I just wanted to check in here and see how everyone was doing.
I luv you you all too
P.S. Hey Ree last I knew you and Dave were having a tough time with headpain.....are things better? I hope so!
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