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Topic: Need some humor!! (Read 296 times) |
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Need some humor!!
« on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 8:17am » |
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Feel'n down anyone have something funny to say?....Make me laugh! PLEASE! or at least smile.. 
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Brian_Y
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You can always do what I do:
I imagine I am a siamese twin (or, for the more politically correct, conjoined).
My twin and I are attached at the shoulder.
He is gay.
I am not.
He has a hot date tonight.
And we share one heiney.
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Tara Ann
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
It's always darkest before the dawn.
 
Gender: 
Posts: 2459
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #2 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 9:21am » |
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Brian.....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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http://www.myspace.com/taraann77
 
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Brian_Y
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Thank you, thank you!! I'll be here all week!!
Try the veal!!!
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Miklos
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender: 
Posts: 620
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #4 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 9:39am » |
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Here are some of my favorite quotes:
Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Hazards: There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you’re pretty much doomed.
Futility: You will always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
Motivation: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
Limitations: Until you spread your wings; you have no idea how far you can walk.
Feel better now?
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #5 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 10:05am » |
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I'm smile'n 
Thanks Miklos!
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stevegeebe
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Posts: 1342
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #6 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 12:34pm » |
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Three, two letter words that mean "small"?
Answer: is it in?
Steve G
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #7 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 1:00pm » |
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*LOL*.....
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Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
   
Gender:
Posts: 14968
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #8 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 2:57pm » |
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Life is backasswards. Turn it around and you’d be born a babbling idiot and when you die, the last feeling you have would be an orgasm.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #9 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 4:03pm » |
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LoL.... 
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KingOfPain
New Board Hall of Famer
Disgusted!
Gender:
Posts: 1552
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #10 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 10:05pm » |
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Take off!!!
"C" Programmer
Blue Meanie
A card to hand out
Help a guy out
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Will that do?
KingOfPain
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| « Last Edit: Sep 3rd, 2003, 10:06pm by KingOfPain » |
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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cootie
New Board Hall of Famer
sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
Gender:
Posts: 8406
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #11 on: Sep 3rd, 2003, 10:14pm » |
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The Road to Enlightenment - The Teachings of Zen
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path
is narrow. In fact, just fuck off and leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and a flat tire.
3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
missing a couple of mortgage payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
windshield.
16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.
Not sure where I found these.....maybe it was on here ? But either way there worth nuther laugh. Pam that laughs at jus about everything sumdays and sumdays I jus get dam'd pissed at everything ;D ;D 
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Carla_Comiter
Guest
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OK, I only remember 5 jokes and following are 4 of them:
Q: How many real men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Real men don't change lightbulbs, they're not afraid of the dark!
Q: How many real women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Real women don't try to change lightbulbs, they accept them for what they are!
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time and the lightbulb has to be willing to change.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish.
As you may imagine, there are many burned out lightbulbs in my house. 
Cheer up!
Carla
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Need some humor!!
« Reply #13 on: Sep 4th, 2003, 6:36am » |
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LOL..LOL..LOL...
Thanks Guys.....
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