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Topic: Wet Dreams (not CH) (Read 294 times) |
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Kirk
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VINIMUS, VIDIMUS, DOLAVIMUS
    
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Wet Dreams (not CH)
« on: Aug 31st, 2003, 1:24am » |
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Just imagine yourself cruisin through the Gulf Stream
It was April the forty first
being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
my barracuda was in the shop
so I was in a rented stingray
and it was overheating.
So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it. Okay pal?
While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar
a real dive
But I new the owner
he used to play for the Dolphins
I said "HI GIL"
you have to yell he's hard of herring
Gil was also down on his luck
fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar
he poured me the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion
Shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
heavy on the mako
I slipped him a fin
On porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand doller in the box for
Jerries squids
for the halibut
Well the place was crowded
we were packed in like sardines
they were all there to listen to the big band sound of Tommy Dorsal.
What sole
Tommy was rockin' the place with a hot little tiuna
"Salmon Chanted Evening"
The stage was surrounded by groupers
probably there to see the bass player
One of them was a cute little yellowtail
and She was giving Me the eye
so I figured this is my chance for a little fun
You know, piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a ............well
She drank a lot
I said "Whats your sign"
She said "Aquarium"
I said "Great lets get tanked"
I invited her up to my place for a midnight bait
I said "Come on baby it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"
and she wasn't kidding either
caause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
he was covered with mussels
he came over to me and said
"Listen, shrimp, don't you be trollin round here"
What a crab
this guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him and said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well I knew there was going to be trouble and so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
it was a fluke but there he was
lying on the deck, flat as a mackeral
Kelpless
I said "Forget the cods Gil This guys gonna need a sturgeon"
Well the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me and said "Hey big boy you're really a game fish. Whats you're name?"
I said "Marlin"
Well from then on we had a whale of a time
T took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I even bought her a bouquet of flounders
and then I went home with her
and what did I get for my trouble
A case of the clams
Appreciate the mind images it's a holiday folks
My apologies to whoever wrote Sam Spade
TTFN
Stop laughing Hap
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Carla_Comiter
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Are you just feeding us a line of crappy? Trying to reel us in? When we get in over our heads, will you fish us out? Or will you just watch us flounder?
Sorry, flashbacks to my 20 years in Orlando.
Thanks for the laughs, Kirk!
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Not4Hire
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...WAS PF since Oct.'02, but ...oh my...(CBusters)
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Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
« Reply #3 on: Aug 31st, 2003, 8:44am » |
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anybody remember Kirk Douglas...uh, *singin'*:
"Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo..."
(you'll probably have that one in yer head all day....)
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Mantra: This will NOT kill me...This will not KILL me... This will not kill ME...
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JDH
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We will get by, We will survive!
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Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
« Reply #4 on: Aug 31st, 2003, 10:28am » |
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and speaking of fish,
A fitful young fisher named Fisher
Once fished for some fish in a fissure,
Till a fish, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in--
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher!
Jim
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9-11-01, to remember is to honor.
It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
ECH established 1985
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Charlie
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Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
« Reply #5 on: Aug 31st, 2003, 3:55pm » |
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Knocked me off my perch, landed me on my dinghy in a school of blowfish, and after taking the bait, I found a new heading.
Musselhead Charlie 
Only the beginning of your punishment for this Kirk 
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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cathy
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Not all those that wander are lost......
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Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
« Reply #6 on: Aug 31st, 2003, 4:07pm » |
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Thanks for sharing shows your not a shellfish bastad... ;D
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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jonny
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on Aug 31st, 2003, 4:07pm, cathy wrote:| Thanks for sharing shows your not a shellfish bastad... ;D |
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"Bastard"
..............................jonny ;D
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kim
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Wet Dreams (not CH)
« Reply #8 on: Aug 31st, 2003, 6:57pm » |
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Finnin at that tale and LOVIN IT! Wowsa took guppy rite outa the pond ;D
Great fish food.
You have no idea how long I've waited for dem bubbles booba!
Yippppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 
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