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Topic: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!! (Read 415 times) |
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brain_cramps
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Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« on: Aug 15th, 2003, 1:47pm » |
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I am currently trying to quit drinking and smoking pot, something my parents have wanted me to do for years. Now with my dad being sick (and them offering to lend me money if I do), I decided to give it a shot.
The first 5 days of sobriety were pretty uneventful (other than a 5-year-old’s birthday party with a bunch of hyper-active kids that must have been full of sugar).
Then Day 6 hit. It was my first day of rehab (being treated as an out-patient). Luckily the first week (or so) of the ‘course’ are optional.
I got up early this morning to give myself a lot of extra time to get across town by 9:00. I left the house at 7:30 and missed the first bus by about 30 yards. No problem, the bus runs every 15 minutes (or so I thought).
A half hour later, I was on the next bus and everything was going fine. Then I missed my connection and had to wait another 15 minutes.
While sitting and reading the paper, another bus drove by.
When I finally got the next bus and eventually got downtown, I arrived at 9:02AM only to find 3 other people also trying to get into the class. We were told we were too late and there was nothing they could do about it. One of the others waiting had been there for 4 days and this was the last day of his program. He was told to come back next Friday as the classes are different every day. Since his employer had signed him up and he’s not able to return to work until completion, he lost out on a week’s pay.
Anyways, I went to catch the bus home. After waiting for about ½ hour, I asked the driver for another route how long it would be. “I have no idea” was his reply.
Finally, 55 minutes later the bus (# 414) came by and I was told that it only runs once an hour in non-peak periods. I took it to where I was supposed to get my transfer. I double-checked with the driver when the #89 would be coming by. “In about 10 minutes”, he replied.
After 25 minutes another bus showed up, so I asked this driver when I could expect the #89. “I have no idea” was his reply.
After another 15 minutes, another bus came by. After asking him, I was told that I should be on the #414. He told me to jump in and he’d drive me 15 blocks up the street to where I could catch it (even though I was just on it 40 minutes ago).
The stop he dropped me off at was on an express route (the only other bus that ran there was the #89 that wouldn’t be running for at least another 6 hours).
So… I walked the remaining 92 blocks home in 90F heat. (2 hours) On the way home, I passed 13 bars. At each one, I could here the beer inside singing “Come drink me!”
All of this on a foot that is fukked. Now it looks more like a watermelon than something that used to fit in my shoe.
I wonder what Day 7 has in store for me…  LOL
just sitting in the shade with a big jug of Mountain Dew,
grant (that didn’t need anger-management classes until NOW) 
P.S. C’mon lotto. I just want to retire on a beach in Jamaica and drink cheap rum and smoke free ganj. 
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| « Last Edit: Aug 15th, 2003, 1:48pm by brain_cramps » |
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2late
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #1 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 1:56pm » |
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take it from a former drug & alcohol abuser.....it's the hardest fight that never ends but get's easier as time passes.....do what you can to clean-up & you'll see everything will come a little easier. best of luck! you'll need it. ............Jack
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JDH
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #2 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 2:21pm » |
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Man, 92 blocks? and I thought my day was messed up.
Good luck to you Grant, hopin' it all works out.
Jim
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It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
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BillyJ.
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #3 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 2:53pm » |
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Hey Grant,
At least you were'nt dancing with the beast
through all that.My mother told me there'd be days
like that,she just didn't tell me there'd be so fuken
many of them.
You said-
" On the way home, I passed 13 bars. At each one, I could here the beer inside singing “Come drink me!”
Well that PROVES you CAN do it bro,that was a hell
of a test.
May you be pain & habbit free!
Billy
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Patrick_A
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #4 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 3:21pm » |
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Hey Grant,
I too was a Heavy drinker and Drug abuser. I quit drinking for the most part when i realized during my cycles how bad it made them. So now i am a teetotaler. I drink only on special occasions. Now Pot on the other hand i was a out and out POTHEAD. Also liked to snort a little of that Cocaine on special occasions!
I totally stopped doing drugs at the age of 30 (14 years ago) The 1st few months were difficult, but only because my friends didnt change. It took a lot of willpower to convince my friends that i was gonna stay clean and sober. Gawd, I dont know how many times i heard " Come on dude, Lets go fire one up", and me saying no bro, You go ahead. I'll watch ur back! I lost a lot of so called friends during that period of time, but i also realized that doing drugs and drinking is more a "LIFESTYLE" than it was a habit. It didnt take me long to realize also how much money it takes to maintain that lifestyle.
I hope ya make it bro, I swear to you. It is the best move i ever made. I dont criticise my friends who still do. That is their business and not mine, and the ones that i kept from those times dont concern themselves with me not partaking in their pleasures. We are still friends.
Totally drug free, and rarely drink, Patrick
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Jackie
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #5 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 4:26pm » |
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I'm proud of you all.....really proud 
It's not always easy to do the right thing.
Sounds to me like you're being "true to yourself".
Grant.....sounds like you aced yesterdays test....
Jacks
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Edna
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #6 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 4:58pm » |
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Aw Grant, I'm so proud of you. Go ahead and rant, we're sure to listen.
Check your email for some suggestions my friend and some laughs along with it. Sounds like you need it and I'll be happy to oblige.
"I wonder what Day 7 has in store for me…" well, pal if you let it I'm sure it will be something GRAND.....after all, YOU are worth it.
Wishing you the best,
EDNA
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Mark C
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #7 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 5:35pm » |
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"This too shall pass...."
Good Job Grant! Keep it up, you will be glad you did.
You should also be proud of yourself for passing such a hard test.
PFDAN's
Mark
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cootie
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #8 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 6:43pm » |
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Wow Grant.....you did good.....I'd of at least went inside the bars to smack all them people fer havein too much fun ! Good luck to ya........your on a good start !!! Pam that would have ta stop bein social to stop her social drinkin habit
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Cerberus
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #9 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 6:44pm » |
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Damn, man that blows ass!
the only things I can say are hang in there and FUCK PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!
Ramon
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Cerberus
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #10 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 6:53pm » |
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......is there a twelve step program for that?
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jonny
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Re: Rant? You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #11 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 7:13pm » |
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I never thought id say this....Your a stronger man than I, Grant.
Keep it up Bro, if you got by that day you can get by them all!!!
...............................jonny
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Peppermint
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #12 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 7:17pm » |
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Grant... Sounds like you really plowed through that first obstacle.
WAY TO GO MAN! Keep on keepin' on.
Pep
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Virginia
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #13 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 7:21pm » |
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Grant-
YOU ROCK!!
That is so awesome! You can do this! And anytime you want to rant...we're here for you.
Don't know what you're going through but I know it's got to be really difficult. I'll be praying for you every step of the way.
Virginia
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Ree
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #14 on: Aug 15th, 2003, 10:52pm » |
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 One day at a time grant... I am so proud of you... keep up the good work and call a friend if you need to... love ya lots and envy your strength... ree (who wishes the whole world would stop drinkin)
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rumplestiltskin
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Quote:| P.S. C’mon lotto. I just want to retire on a beach in Jamaica and drink cheap rum and smoke free ganj. |
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Do ya see a pattern here?
All the "reasons" yer quitting for will soon mean nothing to you. They won't matter. You will then give yerself permission to pick up that first drink and get back on the roller coaster.
Quitting for others is a noble thing. Butt it won't last.
This is one time selfishness is the way to go. Yer sobriety must come first above all else...cause without that...you'll eventually lose all the other things anyway. Do it for yerself.
Bad foot? bus trouble? rain? cornflakes soggy? all good reasons to NOT to attend yer "program". Call yer local AA and someone will find someone to take you there. Next excuse?
You are not quitting for ever...you are quitting just for today.
Ya got a big hole in yer gut that yer trying to fill with all the wrong things. You are not alone. There are many of us just like you. Find us.
Shut up and listen
den
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brain_cramps
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #16 on: Aug 16th, 2003, 2:19pm » |
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Thanks everyone. Your concern and support means a lot to me. The remainder of the day and today have been no problem at all. I realize it was a tough test, but YES, I am proud of what I accomplished.
To those of you that are supportive, I apologize for the following:
Den:
Of course I see a pattern there. Its my life and my decision. The MAIN reason I am quitting IS financial. On top of that, I have to get my career back on track and therefore need my head clear while attending "compressed" classes for professionals to upgrade my skillset in my industry. Since these classes cost on the average of $4500 per week, of course I want to be at the top of my game.
I'm not quitting because I think that I have a problem. It has NEVER impacted my work (not just my opinion, but also that of former employers before I was a consultant as well as clients since I've been a consultant). BTW, when was the last time that you worked in excess of 560 hours in a 2-month period? Ever? Not much time to be drunk and/or hung-over, is there?
Because of a 5 year fight with Revenue Canada, I have not been able to take any classes to upgrade for quite a while now. In my industry, the average consultant spends (or should spend) 1 month per year in school.
On top of that, across North America there is approximately 22.7% of IT contractors that are currently out of work and the market has been like that for 2 years now. This makes for a VERY competitive market. In that period, I was off work for 8 months with a shattered heel. For the first 2.5 months of that time, the only times I got out of bed were to cook my own meals, etc... After an 18 month contract, I have recently been off work for 3.5 months during which I have been studying most of the time.
After talking to a counsellor, we agreed on a plan. I am trying to quit for a period of 3 to 5 years, and evaluate my financial and professional situation at that point. It may end up being a permanent lifestyle-change, but nobody has a crystal-ball. If I complete the classes and find consistent work, either employed or contracting, I don't plan to "give myself permission to pick up that first drink". Not until after 3 to 5 years, and only then if my finances and career are back in order.
I noticed that you left the "winking smiley" off of the second quote. Perhaps you don't know the meaning of that. If that's the case, I'll let you figure it out for yourself (if you are able).
Maybe your profession (???) isn't as competitive as mine. If that's the case, I'm sure you would have no problem lending me about $18,000 (with a 10% ROI over a 13.4 month period).
And yes, because this decision is primarily financially motivated, if I did win the lotto ( ), I would have no more reason to work and no reason to upgrade my skillset. Yes, in that case, I would probably continue to drink, but we all know the odds of winning the lotto (or at least those of us that have an idea what "statistical analysis" is).
Finally, if I was looking for an excuse to not make it to my "program", I would have headed for home after missing the first bus. Instead, I continued.
So... I took my turn to shut up and listen... NOW YOU DO THE SAME.
grant still dreaming of Negril, even while studying on average of 10 hours per day
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| « Last Edit: Aug 16th, 2003, 2:21pm by brain_cramps » |
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goaway
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #17 on: Aug 16th, 2003, 4:58pm » |
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To Grant and all the others who have had "yesterdays" like his...
I am proud to know you!
I also agree with Rumplestiltskin. Be true to yourself first...otherwise it won't work.
I know you know this...you are as strong as you will let yourself be. (And you are most probably stronger than you will admit to yourself.) Remember the chant...
goaway!.....goaway!.....goaway!.....
It works for a variety of things.
I AM PROUD OF ALL OF YOU!!!
Keep it up.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 16th, 2003, 5:04pm by goaway » |
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juvy
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #18 on: Aug 16th, 2003, 6:31pm » |
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Grant,
I'm proud of you for not slipping into one of those bars. That would have been easy. I hope day seven goes much better for you.
Cheers no beers,
Juvy
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Donna
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Re: Rant… You want a RANT? !!!!!
« Reply #20 on: Aug 16th, 2003, 7:46pm » |
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Ya know, Grant, in all fairness to Den, I got the same impression as he did from your first post.
I hope you are successful and that it becomes a life long habit, not just a temporary money inspired dry spell.
Good Luck.........keep up the good work.
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