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Ree
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THIS IS KILLING ME...
« on: Aug 13th, 2003, 7:58pm » |
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i already posted on the supporters board but not everyone reads that ... I thought I was a good supporter but I am running out of things to do and say... and I am trying to help Dave keep his dignity with Breezy... I am being tugged both ways and don't know what to do ..........Supporters please give me ideas... What do you do with your little ones when your sufferer is suffering 10 kip Ch attacks???????? and how much Imatrex is too much... he took zomig and 2 hours later nasal imatrex and 2 hours later an injection......... I need help......... Im sorry if I am being a wimp... he is trying so hard......... ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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Jackie
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #1 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:12pm » |
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Oh Ree....I'm so sorry, Sweetie. 
Yes, it's hard business.....watching them suffer..not being able to make it go away and trying to keep everything else in balance.
As to your daughter...I'm sure you have explained it all to her the best you can. It's hard for some adults to understand so I can imagine how it is for a child. Does she think it's gonna kill her Daddy or is she thinking that "it can't be that bad".
Can Dave find a private place to fight the beast....where your daughter isn't around. Maybe you could get her attention doing something and still run to check on Dave. I've never had to deal with little ones when Blake gets hit so I'm grasping at straws here.
Now.....does Dave have 02 at home? If not can he get it....that might help cut down on some of the triptans.
Has Dave done any prednisone this cycle...or ever. If so does it help him?
Hang on Ree....you have done this before and you can do it again. Lean on your faith, Sweetie.....you'll find strength there.
Keep talking to us.....
Big Hugs,
Jacks 
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Anthem
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #2 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:13pm » |
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In my experience of watching Cat pace back and forth, rocking and holding her head in her hands, and otherwise doing the dance... I always just try to keep Ayden away and at a distance, and ask her directly if there is anything I can do to help (other than to hand her a loaded pistol!).
It is very difficult to watch a loved one suffer alone, and being helpless to do anything about it, but Cat prefers just to be left alone. I try to help by focusing my attention on the kids so they do not add to the problem.
Not much help... but no help is the only way I know how to help her when she gets hit.
Clark
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Jackie
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #3 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:17pm » |
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Ree....check your PM
Jacks
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catlind
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #4 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:20pm » |
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Ree, I don't know if this is something you can work with or not, but Andrea is the same age as your daughter. Each of my kids has a job to do when Clark is not around. My oldest gets my medications, Ayden (3) sits and squeezes the O2 bag for me (it's hard, but it helps them be less frightened), and Andrea, her job is to go plug in the electric kettle, make me a hot black coffee, and bring me a pack of ice.
Would it work if you had Gabrielle take an assigned task to help out? I know it helps the kids feel less isolated and less helpless, it is hard to accept the help, but they have learned to do each task without talking or asking questions.
Talk to Dave when he's not getting hit and see if he thinks that would help all of you deal with things?
I feel so bad for you Ree, you and Dave, this is so unfair 
We are here for you, if you need anything just name it.
Love ya
Cat
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Donna
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #5 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:25pm » |
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I'm so sorry Ree........I too know how you feel. When Johnny has a ch, he doesn't want anything to do with anyone, so he goes off to "his" space where no one can bother him until his pain starts to fall. I was the same way when I had ch.
Kids are so resiliant. Once they're convinced that nothing traumatic or lasting is going to happen, they adjust. We adults tend to worry more than we need to. It's only when they are left to their own imagination that they think his head is really going to explode.
I don't know what to say to help you, being the caring person that you are. I know how hard it is not being able to DO SOME DAMN THING to help them.......but we know that's the way it is.
Get a new video and save it for the little ones for times like this.......or new puzzles or paint by numbers or whatever will hold their attention long enough for you to cope with both sides.
Sorry there isn't more, honey, but you can rest assured that we will all be praying for you and yours.
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kim
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #6 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:46pm » |
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Ree, hang in there. There is no magic answer I can give you (wish there was).
We try and keep the kids away from the scary parts. I usually isolate myself from them seeing me. It's a juggling act that really sux, but you do what you have to do to ride it out.
I'm sorry Dave is having such a rough go of it. My thoughts are with you and family****
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Elaine
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #7 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:47pm » |
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Ree when the kids were toddlers I had a headache Box full of toys and the only time they got to play with them was when I had a headache. They had to take it to their room and play without any fussing wile I took care of my headache. When they got older they wanted to help and I did like cat I gave them things to do to help. I did ask them to get ice coffee, meds (when they were old enough to do those things )! I think letting them help in some way and reasuring them that Dad is not dieing will help.
Try the o2 ! That just seems to help so many here.
I am thoinking of you both!
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Peppermint
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #8 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 8:48pm » |
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I'm sorry Ree... please check your Im's.
Patty
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BillyJ.
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #9 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 9:22pm » |
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NO giving up Ree!
If Dave can take it so can you!Remember you will never
be tested beyond what you can you can endure.I now
know what it is like to witness the beast from both sides
and I'd rather take the hit than watch it.
I agree with Cat,talk to Dave when he is not getting
hit,and see what he wants you and the kid to do when
he is getting hit.
" I am being tugged both ways and don't know what to do ........." ????If she were in pain youd be right there
by her side,and so would Dave
As far as keeping his dignity,I understand that too,it is
embaressing,a huge blow to the ego,to suffer pain so
bad that you can't hide it.That is probably why most of
us prefer to be alone when getting hit.
I can't use triptans so I can't begin to say how much
is too much.Have you considered one of the longer
acting triptans such as amerge or relpax as a short term
preventitive?I know they are too slow acting when
getting hit,but some here report success using them 2x
a day as a prevent.
Dave-hang on bro,it won't kill you(though you may
wish it would) and it WILL END!!!!
Hugs,Vibes and Prayers to you both from Minnie and I
Billy
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Tara Ann
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #10 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 9:57pm » |
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Ree, Everyone has given you excellent feedback so I just want to say don't ever say you are sorry for wanting to vent or ask for help and you are not being a wimp....It must be so hard just watching someone you love be in pain and to worry about him and the impact on your child too. But as it's been said children are very resilient. You and Dave got all the vibes I can muster coming your way and you guys are in my thoughts!
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Ree
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #11 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 10:23pm » |
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Everyone here has great ideas... Thankyou so much... Billy I am going to see if we can get some Amerge or one of the others tomorrow... He just needs some relief. Mind you he has gone to work everynight without fail since this started... Driving a Tractor Trailer for the Postal Service........... what a guy... Elaine Jacks Donna Kim Cat & Clark... Tara (HOW ARE YOU???) You are all so sweet to answer when you have your own pain to deal with... Pep thanks too (prayers cant hurt)... love you all Ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespockethttp://www.prohawaiian.com
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Patrick_A
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #12 on: Aug 13th, 2003, 11:22pm » |
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Hey Ree, To answer your question about how much is too much. I would say it depends alot on his health in general and also how much of a chance he is willing to take. I personally have taken on more than 1 occasion 2 imitrex tabs, 3 nasal sprays, and 1 injection and that was 5 days ago. I think the PDF book says 200mgs a day but i might be mistaken. Heck, I have gone days taking imitrex tabs as an abortive just to get some rest. I probably am not the best person to ask because i'd stick my head in a garbage disposal if someone told me it would make my CH go away. 
Good luck, Patrick
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Deb_L
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #13 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 7:03am » |
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Hang in there Ree. You are both strong people. Brizzy comes from good stock and probably can handle more than you think. Little girls (and big one too) always put their fathers on pedestals....some times they fall but never for long.
Is the 02 helping at all? Remember you have friends close by and help is at a moments notice. Thoughts and prayers are with you
DAVE KICK SOME ASS
Love you both
Deb L
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badfly
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #14 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 8:49am » |
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Patience Ree. Thats about the best thing. If he wants to be alone, its ok. Maybe you should ask him what he wants? I like to pace around the room really fast. I look at my watch and count of the minutes. My son (he is only 18 months) starts walking (and falling) around the room with me. He such a delight it gives me strength and will.
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BonnieW
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #15 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 10:02am » |
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Ree - there is nothing I can add to all this, except my best wishes and prayers. I know exactly how you are feeling. All our boys are older now (youngest is 15) so we are kind of past that part. Warren is just coming to the end of a cycle (I hope), and hopefully Dave will be there soon too. Hang in there and know that better days are ahead.
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Tara Ann
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #16 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 12:08pm » |
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on Aug 13th, 2003, 10:23pm, Ree wrote:| Billy I am going to see if we can get some Amerge or one of the others tomorrow... He just needs some relief. ... Tara (HOW ARE YOU???) |
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Did you get ahold of the doc for the amerge or anything yet? I'm a bit better so far today Ree thanx for askin.
You all having a better day today?
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BobG
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #17 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 12:42pm » |
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Great advice above.
Kids have a tendency to blame themselves, they must have done something bad to make mom or dad hurt.
When my kids were little we explained, in simple words they could understand, what the headaches were and what they could do to "help". And the most important thing explained to them was that it was NOT their fault.
They were given "jobs" to do when I was having an attack. Their "jobs" were to turn down the TV, no screaming or knocking on the bedroom door. When the attack was over they always given a hug, kiss and "Thanks, you did your job well". That was all they needed.
Little kids are a hellava lot smarter than many "grown-ups give them credit for. Talk to them and tell them all the facts and answer their questions truthfully. And give them a "job" to do. They're tuff little people and they'll be OK.
P.S.
not to change the subject but I just noticed under your name.........Sean, Liberia
Thanks Sean. May God be with you.
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zanychef
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #18 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 1:18pm » |
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hi ree
sorry to hear about the probs you got at the mo an wish i could help more than just sending you good vibes
as to how much imitrex(imigran here) i once took 14 injections in one day and lived but felt like sh** after so it's a case of how much risk will you take
best wishes from across the pond
zany ;D
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plenty of time to sleep now me headaches aint too bad
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River_Rat
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Re: THIS IS KILLING ME...
« Reply #19 on: Aug 14th, 2003, 3:53pm » |
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REE, I'm soo sorry that Dave and you are going through this right now I know it will get better.
My Father was a Clusterhead and I remember..... (Not good) my brothers and I used to cry when Dad was going through one of these. Most of the time he would hide out and we would never know.
But, When Dads pain went away he would come and talk with us and make everything ok. So If I were to give my advice just make sure Dave talks with them when he feels better, and hide out when you can.
When I'm in cycle and get one, I always go in the garage or outside until it gets better, Thank god my wife is always there to take the kids.
You'll get through it, I promise.
LEE
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