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Topic: something funny(long but worth it) (Read 259 times) |
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
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something funny(long but worth it)
« on: Jul 24th, 2003, 8:16am » |
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Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was to humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel like coming in the next day. By then, I thought I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cut litte kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen "Ed!! the The garbage disposal is dead. Come and reset it for me." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower "reset it yourself!" "I'm scared!" she pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in....."C'mon, it'll only take you a second!" So out I came, dripping wet and Buck Naked, hoping to make a statment about how her cowardly behavoir was not with out conseqeuence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without any respect to circumstances. Nay it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into it's gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, Clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and had stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movement, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight" option. Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing hysterical laughter. Back at work colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painfull to talk about. "What's the matter, the cat got your tongue?" IF THEY HAD ONLY KNOWN!
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: something funny(long but worth it)
« Reply #1 on: Jul 24th, 2003, 5:13pm » |
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This was e-mailed to me I just thought it was funny and wanted to share...
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Patrick_A
New Board Hall of Famer
If i could get my hands on that wascally Wabbit
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Re: something funny(long but worth it)
« Reply #2 on: Jul 24th, 2003, 10:18pm » |
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LMMFAO. That was a good'en!
Patrick
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Do you think that when they asked George Washington for his ID, that he just whipped out a One Dollar Bill?
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cootie
New Board Hall of Famer
sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: something funny(long but worth it)
« Reply #3 on: Jul 24th, 2003, 10:28pm » |
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When I was at the vets not long ago I watched a cute lill tiger kitty freak out and run up the girls face that was holding it.......she got cut up pretty bad and jus missed her eye. The girls started bawlin and had blood streamin down her face from several locations. All I could think of as I sat there watching it happen was that dumb song "Cat Scratch Fever"......true story ! Pam that has a strange relation to sum things
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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