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Topic: Tedlines (Read 481 times) |
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Ted
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OK. Really it's NL's Headlines again (and for those who don't remember, Susan Smith is the woman who several years ago went on national TV to plead for the kidnappers of her kids to return them. And it was later found out she really put them in her car and rolled it into the lake, drowning them:
Scientists discover oldest planet in the universe; "Either that, or somebody pointed our telescope at Florida," says astronomer
British scientists planning to build half-mile long microscope; "With the help of science, and the grace of God, we will see an Englishman's penis," says researcher
The aircraft carrier USS Reagan enters into service; promptly wanders off to sea
Susan Smith places personal ad online seeking pen pals; Requirements include "you should be over 6', height and weight proportional, and must be good with kid-killers"
Ex-Air Force Academy commanders testify that they didn't ignore sexual assault cases; "I always paid very close attention to the victim's stories, often going so far as to masturbate later that evening while reviewing their testimony," states General
US starts new offensive against Iraqi insurgents; "Operation Same Old Shit, 4th New Name" expected to achieve complete peace in region
US Department of Agriculture employees used their Federal Credit Cards for lingerie, brothels and strippers; "it all comes under the heading of 'meat inspection,'" explains supervisor
Bush vows to "be active" in Liberia; "I'll probably at least run for a couple miles when I get there," states the First Jogger
Stonehenge may be a massive ancient depiction of female genitalia; "Oh yeah, then where are the teeth?" wonders hard-line Freudian
Marvel Comics drops plans for Princess Di comic book; Begins work on Iranian wonder-twins graphic novel
Tom Cruise reveals he struggled with Dyslexia; "even today, when I read the word 'God,' my mind interprets it as 'a freakish, mafia-esque cult founded by a science fiction writer that believes we are all aliens trapped inside a web of human illusions"
Reporter finds dead celebrities making more money now than when alive; film fan states, “Can someone please make Madonna ‘richer’, before she makes another movie?”
Hailed for success against caviar smuggling, Russian cat killed by suspected hit-man, owner mourns, “They were serious enough to put nine contracts on him.”
Solar-powered automobile race begins in Chicago; Dick Dastardly and Muttley fall into last place after plan to blot out sun with giant mechanical umbrella backfires
2002 safest year ever for airlines; "It was a pretty good year for tall buildings too," adds government analyst
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cathy
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #1 on: Jul 15th, 2003, 4:07pm » |
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on Jul 15th, 2003, 2:27pm, Ted wrote:OK. Really it's NL's Headlines
British scientists planning to build half-mile long microscope; "With the help of science, and the grace of God, we will see an Englishman's penis," says researcher
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LMAO.... it's a lie... ;D
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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CathiP
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cATHY- DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WES WAS ORIGINALLY FROM AFRICA?????? ;D
mISS DUB G... 
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cathy
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #3 on: Jul 15th, 2003, 4:16pm » |
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Yes I do believe I did.... ;D
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #4 on: Jul 15th, 2003, 5:18pm » |
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Britons learn to cook something besides boiled meat.
NOW, THERE'S A HEADLINE !!!!!
LindaH
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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jonny
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on Jul 15th, 2003, 5:18pm, Linda_Howell wrote:Britons learn to cook something besides boiled meat.
NOW, THERE'S A HEADLINE !!!!! |
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Way to funny, Linda....ROTFFLMMFAO ;D
..............................jonny
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CathiP
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Correction Linda.....
In Fluff's case-and in her defense.....I understand she NEVER boils her meat......in fact, she doesn't even cook....in fact, she doesn't know where the kitchen is.....oh, ummm, except that's where she keeps the whipped cream......... 
Just trying to help, Fluff! Trying to help!
You're welcome....
Cathi ;D
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cathy
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #7 on: Jul 16th, 2003, 1:47am » |
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Linda....here's a better headline
Americans try there hand at humour....and fail 
Jonny never mind boiled meat, your dead meat now! 
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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jonny
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Its "Their" not "there".....Bitch....LOL ;D
............................jonny
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Charlie
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #9 on: Jul 16th, 2003, 5:12am » |
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Moving right along in this vein..........
Your & you're are different animals.
The rest of you won't find "definately" or "noone, " either. This drives me nuts (admittedly a short trip) but I have no life
PITA Charlie
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| « Last Edit: Jul 16th, 2003, 2:59pm by Charlie » |
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Ree
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #10 on: Jul 17th, 2003, 8:52am » |
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TED LINES..........I LOVE IT.... HEHEHEHE REE
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aprilbee
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #11 on: Jul 17th, 2003, 9:02am » |
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FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY 
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cathy
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Re: Tedlines
« Reply #12 on: Jul 17th, 2003, 9:50am » |
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Ted how do they know it's the oldest planet if they've only just discovered it, maybe there's an older one waiting to be discovered...
oh and btw...bastad, I knew it was their, just wanted to see if you did....lol 
Cathy
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| « Last Edit: Jul 17th, 2003, 9:51am by cathy » |
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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rumplestiltskin
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reads like Vonnegut.......thanks Ted
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